Divorce and property issue. Need help.

mose_2

Hi, I am currently in the early stages of divorce from my wife, I am still living in the property as I can't afford to move out. Our total bills split in half would be more than my wages, my wife earns 3 times what I do, am I expected to just find the money for half of everything? What happens if I can't? Sorry I know this is probably a silly question but I need to know what I'm up against. My wife is talking of buying me out, I'm not sure she can afford it but that's a different matter, until then does it count for anything anymore that she is the bigger earner?

Thankyou.

Caz3121

simplistically
any bills in your name only are 100% your responsibility
any bills in ex's name are 100% her responsibility
any bills in joint names (like mortgage) you are both responsible for 100%
many couples make their own arrangements but, if bills are not paid it comes down to whose name they are in to see who gets chased

mose_2

Hopefully it won't get horrible and I'm trying to keep things nice, problem is my wife didn't ever have anything to do with the bills and now she is starting to realise what it takes to run the house. It's a sad state of affairs but I couldn't afford half of the bills on my wage. The childminder alone is £800 a month my wages are £1200. Could I force her to stop sending the little o e to the childminder and I look after? Really hope it doesn't have to come to this and I'm trying my best to keep it together and calm.

clearingout

mose wrote: »

Could I force her to stop sending the little o e to the childminder and I look after?

If your ex had written that, there would be cries of 'benefit scrounging single mum' but I suspect you will be applauded for it. 'Force' is an unpleasant word to be using, particularly in the circumstances. Be careful.


You need to think long term. You are going to need a roof over your head and to be able to carry on as normal as possible for the sake of the little one. Giving up a job isn't sensible, particularly in the current climate. Are you able to communicate with your wife at all? She must know what you earn and must realise that you can't pay half of everything. If she won't listen and/or is generally unreasonable, it would be in your interests to push the divorce along as fast as possible (it is a slow process, unfortunately, but you can keep on top of it to stop it being even slower) so that everything is sorted and you both know where you stand. I recommend wikivorce as a free source of quality information on all things separation and divorce.


Failing that, mediation can be very useful for getting the unreasonable party to understand that things won't be going their way if pushed into court and is always worth trying over expensive solicitors.

TBagpuss

When you come to have a financial settlement, a court would look at what is fair over all, taking into account things like differences in income and earning capacity, so where one spouse earns a lot more than the other, it would be unusual to have a straight 50/50 split.

Are you suggesting that you give up your job in order to care for your child? Or do you currently have a situation where child is at the childminders at times when you are at home and available to look after her/him?

If it is the former, hen you need to think about what will happen long term - will you continue as the main carer? Will that leave you better of worse off than if you worked? Bear in mind that if you were the primary carer and are working, then you may, depending on income, be entitled to Child and Working tax Credit.

How were the bils split before the marriage broke down? Is your wife suggesting that those arrangements should change in he short term.

as between you and any third arty, such as a utility company, you are liable if your name is on he bill. As between you and your wife, you will need to rech an agreement which is fair to you both, taking into account your respective needs, as well as your financial resources. If your wife earns a lot more than you, it may well be fair for her to pay a higher proportin of the outgoings. If you and she cannot agree, then it would be possible for you to apply to the court for an order for maintenance pending suit - i/e/ for her to pay you maintenance in the short term, until a final agreement is reached, in order that you can afford to pay your 'share' of the outgoings. That is very much a last resort, though, and if you are struggling to discuss it with her informally, talk to a solicitor and ask about mediation, and/or collaborative family law (http://www.collaborativefamilylaw.org.uk/) , both of which are designed to help couples reach agreement in these types of situations.

mose_2

I think she's just having a bad day and is talking it out on me. She seems to think she holds all the cards and is putting me under pressure knowing full well I can't pay half the bills. She just wants me out the house.

Before break down most of the bills would come from my account and she would then transfer money to me to cover it alongside my wages. She has transferred the mortgage to her account and is paying the childminder now. I want the little one to stay with the childminder of course they are settled there. I just feel like I'm being backed into a corner by her. Hopefully we can sit down and sort things sensibly as I don't want any of this.

mose_2

She wants me to transfer money over to her, won't tell me how much, I'm already in my overdraft and have nothing. It's getting to be a big mess already.

FBaby

So how much are the rest of the bills? Have you actually worked out how much half is?

mose_2

All bills come to at least £2400 month I take home £1200.

mose_2

So as you can see would exactly leave me much! I wouldn't mind but every penny I have/had went on bills and kids I never spend anything on myself it's just now she is realising she's going to have to cut back her spending and is taking it out on me.

RAS

Suggest that you pay prorata based on your salaries for the living expenses (rent) + the required percentage for CSA.

That should leave you with 25% ish of your salary. Does that coever travel to work and food?

It may be will be worth opening your own case with the CSA to prevent her doing this and you getting into arrears with them.