How would this be split or how should it be split?

System

Flumina wrote: »

And OP was considering having a child with this man herself ?? I'd think VERY carefully before committing to a future with this man.

It looks like that ship has sailed:

chloo wrote: »

They have two children together a child of 2 and 12

We have one child together who is newborn.

summerspring

avogadro wrote: »

It looks like that ship has sailed

Thanks yes, and just spotted in post #62 and #63 of the other thread.

Sounds like he damn well SHOULD agree to grounds of adultery then! (not just to 'get the divorce moving') Can't really see how he can deny it. He'd probably do well to get some proper legal advice re how to answer the questions, but I'm guessing legal advice/representation would cost more than he's prepared to pay?

But as people on the other thread said, chances are it'll end in tears, when he does it again with someone else, but that's the OP's look-out.

scubaqueen

I remember the old thread and wondered what on earth this deluded woman was thinking once she found out her scumbag boyfriend was married with 2 young children. To now find they are both on ESA and have yet another child to add to the mix is incredible. I have no sympathy for either of them and only hope that all 3 children manage to come out of the other end in one piece although I do fear that this is impossible.

OP, you do realise that there is no happy ending for you in all of this and are prepared to be in the same position as the ex wife, except that you will just be a discarded "other woman" who no one will have any time or sympathy for?

I'd start saving up for the eventual split now as it WILL come.

As for involving yourself in his family business, just don't.

As other posters have said, you don't seem to grasp what is going on here and are making things worse by interfering.

By having a child you have made yourself vulnerable. When you do split/get dumped, you will be a single parent with all the responsibilities that come with it - not a good position to put yourself in.

Please try to grow up before you end up making a bigger mess of your own life never mind others.

chloo

thank you for all the comments re our relationship i was after advice for the divorce not on your opinion of affairs or dads walking out.


thank you to those who have given sensible advice he has been in touch with a solicitor now.


does anyone know what the form is called from the court with helping with court fees?


many thanks

Tiddlywinks

chloo wrote: »

thank you for all the comments re our relationship i was after advice for the divorce not on your opinion of affairs or dads walking out.

You should be used to people not sticking to the facts given your boyfriend's track record.

He lied to his wife, he lied to you and shortly after all this you decide to have a baby with him?

For once... 'Won't somebody please think of the children' really does fit.

LilElvis

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

You should be used to people not sticking to the facts given your boyfriend's track record.

He lied to his wife, he lied to you and shortly after all this you decide to have a baby with him?

For once... 'Won't somebody please think of the children' really does fit.

..... and now you want tax-payer funded help for court costs associated with his divorce!

Can you not understand that it is galling to those struggling to maintain a home, those who are delaying starting a family until they are financially stable to read about the financial and emotional car crash that your partner has created with your willing assistance?

19lottie82

OP, background to this aside. You need to realise that your OH wont get legal aid for the divorce process. And it is unlikely a sale of the house will be forced until the youngest children leave FT education.

Also if the mortgage and debts are in joint names he will be responsible for both. There is no his half and her half. Divorce qont change that.

Its not a pretty situation. Again, if you wish to preserve your credit history do not enter into any shared finances. This could be anythig from a gas bill to a bank account.

FBaby

I really feel for your OP. As I suspected, you are very young, much younger than your OH. He got his trophee girlfriend after getting bored of his mundane wife.

I do believe that people can suddenly fall in love and then make the choice to go with it despite all the pain that creates, and it doesn't forcibly make them a bad person but.... your OH has stopped working even though now is the time he should be working all the hours in the world to support his family. I supposed not having to pay any maintenance has something to do with it?

One day you will realise that he is not the hero you fell in love with, but a liar and manipulator, someone happy to rely on benefits rather than supporting his children, who is prepared to kick his kids out of their house for his own benefit, not considering for a second that he is responsible for everything and that maybe, just maybe, he could forget about getting every penny he can out of the house on the account of the fact that he is not contributing anything or much towards his children financially. How you can be in love with someone like this is hard to comprehend, he must be a real charmer

In any case, you might as well accept that you are not going to get your hands on the equity of the house as it is highly unlikely that a court would order the house to be sold. Unless he starts working again and contributing financially towards his children, I don't expect she will let him off paying the mortgage. It was all fun to start with, but he (and you) now have to face the trap you both put yourself in.

cheepskate_2

It's quite sad in this world, that we have men like this, that have no thought about their newborns/children, when they find a new mate.

What's even worse is the women who think this acceptable. Women in general have a lot more mothering instinct in them and for them to happily allow and try and aid the abuse of his previous children is quite sad.Its been quite an upheaval for the children , and now to try and take the house from under their feet.

Just because you are new and flavour of the month now, but his track record and how he went about with all the deceit...in all likelihood will treat you and your child the same as he is doing to his wife and children

Tigsteroonie

Here you go, OP.

chloo wrote: »

does anyone know what the form is called from the court with helping with court fees?

Court and Tribunal Fees - Do I Have to Pay Them? This Leaflet Includes the EX160 Application for a Fee Remission Form (For Court and Tribunal Fees Payable From 7 October 2013) - link on this page: http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/HMCTS/GetForms.do?court_forms_category=Fees%20and%20fee%20remissions

Whilst Legal Aid to pay for legal (ie solicitor) assistance is now virtually non-existent, there is still fee remission for the costs of applying for a divorce and for applying for financial remedy.