Divorce, Mortgage, Current Situation, SKINT

carre2k5

Hi All,

I've been having a really hard time recently and i was hoping some of you lovely people could give me some advice or point me in the right direction. I may have posted this post in the wrong thread, as it's going to be a big one, and cover alot of things. I will try and be as clear as possible. So here we go...

I have been married for 3 years. The marriage began to break down mid last year, and we officially split in December. He treated me badly, and we are getting a divorce by means of unreasonable behaviour.

1. We have a mortgage. The house is up for sale... but isn't selling. I cannot buy another home until i have the deposit from this one. I currently live with my new partner. and if this doesnt work out, i will be homeless. The house is empty, as he made it impossible for me to live there even after he moved out. I still pay half the bills. The mortgage is solely in his name, but i have a regisetered right on the house.

2. He won't sign the papers. He maintains he hasn't recieved them. (Rubbish)

3.He vandalised my car to the cost of £700. The finance is in his name, i pay the finance, and i am the registered keeper. the police think i will get my money... i do not! any thoughts here?

*Just to clear things up, i am dead against car finance! i am a big believer in if you cant afford it... dont have it! but my car blew up (literally) and i needed a car to get to work, as where i work is in the middle of nowhere. and im not talking a brand new car. i'm taking a couple of grand. beause thats all i could afford!*

4. I hate my job. I get paid extremely poorly, and i am looking for a new one. The one i'm going for is quite a bit more money, bu i'm worried that changing jobs now could scupper my chance of a mortgage in the next six months.

5. My new partner works hourly rate, not salary how did this affect mortgages? He is only contracted 20 hours however rarley does below 50!!

6. I am skint. and i mean skint. I work full time. Once i have been paid and all the BARE ESSENTIALS have gone out of my account (car insurance, fuel, mortgage, divorce etc) i am left with £0.24. This does not include food, clothes etc. is there anything i can do? I really am trying, and if it wasn't for my partner i would have starved.

7. He does nothing for the upkeep of the house.

I just want my life back!!! and did i mention...i'm 21... and yes i made a huge mistake!I am a sensible person, i am professionally qualifed, i work hard. Please dont judge me!

Thanks in advance

RAS

Hi

has your new partner checked whether he can claim Working Tax credit etc? www.turn2us.org.uk.

If the mortgage is solely in your ex's name, you need to take advice but I think that you do NOT need to pay anything towards the mortgage.

Risk it will be re-possessed but since you are not on the mortgage that would not affect your credit rating.

Do you have any other joint accounts?

Have you made sure your name is not on any of the utility bills and that you are not registered at the house for Council tax?

pleasedelete

Seems like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. You want to buy a new house with someone that you have only known for a few months?

Step back. Take a deep breath. Find yourself somewhere to live alone or at 21 why not a shared house with other young professionals. Take your time. Decide what you want.

How long has he owned the house? Is there any equity in it?

BigAunty

1. Don't pay the bills towards the empty property - you don't occupy it, enjoy any of the services or own it so I doubt you have any legal obligation to pay. Make sure you take yourself off all the accounts. This will just take a few phone calls at most.

2. Go round the property(or his work place) with the papers and stuff them in his hands. This might take you half an hour or so in travelling time.

After you've spent less than an hour on these two things, it leaves you with 5 remaining issues to tackle.

orangeslimes

carre2k5 wrote: »

Hi All,

I've been having a really hard time recently and i was hoping some of you lovely people could give me some advice or point me in the right direction. I may have posted this post in the wrong thread, as it's going to be a big one, and cover alot of things. I will try and be as clear as possible. So here we go...

I have been married for 3 years. The marriage began to break down mid last year, and we officially split in December. He treated me badly, and we are getting a divorce by means of unreasonable behaviour.

1. We have a mortgage. The house is up for sale... but isn't selling. I cannot buy another home until i have the deposit from this one. I currently live with my new partner. and if this doesnt work out, i will be homeless. The house is empty, as he made it impossible for me to live there even after he moved out. I still pay half the bills. The mortgage is solely in his name, but i have a regisetered right on the house.

2. He won't sign the papers. He maintains he hasn't recieved them. (Rubbish)

3.He vandalised my car to the cost of £700. The finance is in his name, i pay the finance, and i am the registered keeper. the police think i will get my money... i do not! any thoughts here?

*Just to clear things up, i am dead against car finance! i am a big believer in if you cant afford it... dont have it! but my car blew up (literally) and i needed a car to get to work, as where i work is in the middle of nowhere. and im not talking a brand new car. i'm taking a couple of grand. beause thats all i could afford!*

4. I hate my job. I get paid extremely poorly, and i am looking for a new one. The one i'm going for is quite a bit more money, bu i'm worried that changing jobs now could scupper my chance of a mortgage in the next six months.

I think you would be mad not to go for it. Why the need for a mortgage in 6 months? Maybe rent for a year or so, while you save up money as you'll be earning more...

5. My new partner works hourly rate, not salary how did this affect mortgages? He is only contracted 20 hours however rarley does below 50!!

I imagine it makes it more difficult, but you only split up from your last partner in December and that didn't work out, so I wouldn't rush into another mortgage...you can't do much until you have sorted out the current house anyway, as it sounds like you have no money

6. I am skint. and i mean skint. I work full time. Once i have been paid and all the BARE ESSENTIALS have gone out of my account (car insurance, fuel, mortgage, divorce etc) i am left with £0.24. This does not include food, clothes etc. is there anything i can do? I really am trying, and if it wasn't for my partner i would have starved.

7. He does nothing for the upkeep of the house.

I just want my life back!!! and did i mention...i'm 21... and yes i made a huge mistake!I am a sensible person, i am professionally qualifed, i work hard. Please dont judge me!

Thanks in advance

That's all the bits I can comment on. I hope you can manage to get the papers and house sorted. I think you would be silly to rush into another financial commitment with your new partner so soon.

carre2k5

thanks for your replies so far!

Once the house is sold there will be around 30k so the deposit isn't really an issue as there is a large equity in the house.

I can't really give him the divorce papers personally, as there is a restraining order on it's way (domestic abuse) so is there something else i could do here? I will enquire about working tax credits, do you not need children to qualify?

I have known my current partner for 10 years but i do agree i must sound crazy to be jumping in, i'm just desperate to get back on my feet!

i'm not paying council tax on the house, as it's empty so is exempt for a few months i believe. If the house was to get repossessed what would happened to any equity?

This sounds even more crazy, but there is a chance of my ex husband going to prison, what would happen to the house,equity and divorce if this did happen?

I have no idea what i'm doing. Feeling really down, young and silly! i really didn't want things to turn out like this!

i really appreciate everyones help so far!

FBaby

Are you paying your partner towards the rent/mortgage and bills? Is it reasonably priced? It doesn't make sense that you should be working full-time and be left with nothing at all once you've paid your bills. What bills at the old house do you have to pay?

fabforty

carre2k5 wrote: »

I have known my current partner for 10 years but i do agree i must sound crazy to be jumping in, i'm just desperate to get back on my feet!

You can 'get back on your feet' without moving in with someone. It sounds as if you literally need to learn to stand on your own two feet, which doesn't just mean being financially independent, it also means learning to be on your own. At your age with a three year marriage behind you, you really need some time by yourself. Not necessarily being single, just not jumping straight in with both feet - (for your partner's sake as well as your own) - but you sound almost afraid to be alone. Perhaps there are other things going on that you need to address before you can truly move on.


Be careful that it doesn't become a revolving door - relationship after relationship - where you are always looking for happiness and fulfilment outside instead of within. Unfortunately as a family counsellor, it is something that I see quite often.