Anybody got any advice please for a single mum?

sammy18

i have had my crohns disease for 9years had 2ops for it the last one was a major one.i take 70tabs a week but that is good for the mo as useally when its bad it goes up2 250 a week which seems mad but if im really ill i have to take them.as for my depression im getting there i still have my bad days.I tryed to kill myself 3years ago and was cutting myself wiv a carving knife i will not go back to that space again.looking after the boys can be hard work as my boy sam is such a big lad hes only 8months and 25lb and in size 18-24month tops and 12-18m bottoms,but then he was 10lb born!i have good family and their dad is great with them.i will not let little people on here get me down wiv silly comments about MY LIFE YES ITS MY LIFE SO KEEP YOUR BLOODY NOSES OUT IF U HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY!

sammy18

when we broke up we just sorted it between ourselves weather i'm doing wrong i don't know but all i care about is that he pays for his kids and nowadays most men don't.

astonsmummy wrote: »

Hi sammy, sod the 'i'm better than you because i pay my taxes' brigade, they are out in force at the moment and i think mrtin would be utterly discusted that his helpful forum is being treated like a ranting bloody playground!
I dont usually post on here but thought i would because i've seen alot of this lately.
Anwyas, regards your money situation, if you are in IS, i thought any maintinece was taken by the dss and you were given just £10 of it?

astonsmummy

sammy18 wrote: »

when we broke up we just sorted it between ourselves weather i'm doing wrong i don't know but all i care about is that he pays for his kids and nowadays most men don't.

I have to say that this os not allowed and you culd get into serious trouble, as it's technically fraud, i'm sorry to say that the 'i'm better than you' brigade will probably be along in a minute to stick the boot in.
Bust seriously though i think you should inform the dss of this money as when you do get found out you wil have to pay all the money back and it will land you deeper in debt.

aaroncaz

This is what i thought, abt child matinence, i am allowed £10 a month! If i was getting over £300 plus all the benefits, i would think myself, very well off!!

Broken_hearted

Isn't that what I said from the start, the figures wern't adding up right. Sammy you should go to the CAB or suchlike for help so you know you are getting the right amounts and not ending up having to repay money.

Toto

Sammy, as there seems to be a bit of an issue with the maintainance, could your ex not get a 0% card himself, take over your debts and drastically reduce his monthly payment to you?

flaura

sammy18 wrote: »

i have had my crohns disease for 9years had 2ops for it the last one was a major one.i take 70tabs a week but that is good for the mo as useally when its bad it goes up2 250 a week which seems mad but if im really ill i have to take them.as for my depression im getting there i still have my bad days.I tryed to kill myself 3years ago and was cutting myself wiv a carving knife i will not go back to that space again.looking after the boys can be hard work as my boy sam is such a big lad hes only 8months and 25lb and in size 18-24month tops and 12-18m bottoms,but then he was 10lb born!i have good family and their dad is great with them.i will not let little people on here get me down wiv silly comments about MY LIFE YES ITS MY LIFE SO KEEP YOUR BLOODY NOSES OUT IF U HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY!

Why are some people so mean ? - I'm damn sure sammy would rather have a career than suffer from crohns disease - if you don't have a clue what crohns does to a person i suggest you google it and keep your posts to yourself before you go about downtreading Sammy who is doing her best to survive on what she get's - can we try and actually give sammy some advice rathe than shooting our mouths off ?

Sammy keep your chin up there are some of us that want to help you xxx

sammy18

flaura wrote: »

Why are some people so mean ? - I'm damn sure sammy would rather have a career than suffer from crohns disease - if you don't have a clue what crohns does to a person i suggest you google it and keep your posts to yourself before you go about downtreading Sammy who is doing her best to survive on what she get's - can we try and actually give sammy some advice rathe than shooting our mouths off ?

Sammy keep your chin up there are some of us that want to help you xxx

thank u loveie ur a star been out to my mams today had a few bottles of wine so quite happy.to tell u the truth i wish i never put my money stuff on here its just set everyone off.so i'm not gona do anymore and not gona msge on here nomore.i've had enuff of it all its made me so stressed to what people think of me and my family.your right love if anyone could see what crohns does to you they wud shut their mouths.cos all You LOT HAVE DONE YOU KNOW WHO U ARE,have sent me over the edge wiv ur bloody downright nasty comments.so i'm not gona write nomore and anyone that is decent u can write me a priv msge and i will email u back through my email.thanks a lot for everything guys but i don't need this.i'm still suffering from my depression and its bloody hard u have no idea how hard it is.thank u for the advice and good luck wiv all ur debt problems bye lorrainexxxxxxxxx

lynzpower

Oh lorraine,

please dont go .

If you re-read all the messages here, the overwhelming majority are all of us wanting to help & support you.

Please reconsider, theres a lot to learn here and the vast majority want to be helpful xx

joeblack066

Hiya..........couple of things...when I first joined MSE DFW I was also 'got at' a little, and I am not claiming any benefits, it just seemed to be 'the thing to do' for a few posters. However, I am so glad that I stuck with it, as it has quite literally saved my life. So stay with us Lorraine, please!
Chron's is a terrible, debilitating disease, I have 2 friends with it, and you are an amazingly capable young womqn to be dealing with it and raising 2 kids. I bet you thank your lucky stars that you still have a positive relationship with their Dad!
What I think other posters have clumsily been trying to say is this; The benefits system does NOT allow you to receive this large amount of maintenance as well as all your benefits. The rules say that your income would be capped at a certain level, and they would take the maintenance into account when calculating your entitlement. Therefore, if the rules say that you need say £350 pcm, and your maintenance is £320pcm, they would only give you £30. This changes completely however, if you return to work and claim Working Tax Credits (and possibly disabled tax credits in your case as well). In these circumstances, the maintenance paid is NOT taken into account when calculating your entitlements, therefore ostensibly making you better off by working.
In your current circumstances, you are committing benefit fraud, even though I am sure that this was not your intention. Its a bit like the 'No ifs, no buts' campaign that is being run on TV at the moment. If the Benefits Agency picked your case for a spot check, you could be charged with a criminal offence, and forced to pay back all your benefits. Not a nice thought at all. So your choices are, inform the benefits agency that your kids' Dad is paying maintenance, or find a job that you can cope with, for 16 hrs a week, so that you can come off benefits and retain the maintenance and the Tax Credits. If you choose the latter, remember that the Disability Discrimination Act means that Employers have to make allowances for your illness, and there are many agencies out there that will help you get a job that you can manage. Get the kids' Dad to help with childcare, and also remember that there is a childcare element paid, so you pay approx 30% of the costs. Don't put yours, or your kids', future at risk by continuing this situation. Absolute best of luck to you, you will find the answer.