Advise Please

Ms_Chocaholic

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

This is a delicate balance between What is right and what is lawful.


A neighbor here had her child removed by the father of the child because she started on drugs and drinking and having weekend party benders, she called police because he refused to bring him home after his day to have him, the police went to his, and the decision the police felt was the right one as they left him in the care of his father (whilst she sobered up and dried out), she then had to go to court to get him back, SS are heavily involved there now after police referral against the mother, but the child is back with mum but the dad work long hours with little or no family help to mind the children and provide stability and lack of space for the child in his flat. mum did not impress the court at all with her behavior and mum is on a sticky wicket now and cant put a foot wrong or the child will go back to dad.


What I would do personally in this case is, when the children stay at yours, have a tape recorder ready record the calls and bring the subject of mums actions and behavior up with the children in a controlled and casual way and not putting words in their mouths, let it spill out naturally in their words when their staying with you.
Once your satisfied that the ex wife has neglected them and are in a unsafe enviroment, call your local SS (even out of hours emergency line if weekends) and tell them that you have their statements on record of the situation, that your intention is to not send the children back to that environment and that can they assist in helping you by coming and assessing them and help you in getting a emergency custody order (I would ask friends and family to loan you cash for this as this is the best way forward and pre warn your solicitor your going to be doing this and see if someone will be available at short notice to attend family court), or SS could get a emergency custody order the kids maybe placed in temporary foster care for a day or so if they are granted one but you must specify that you want custody to be released to you when they go back to court for a protection order against the mum.

Social Services won't help, they will state it is a private arrangement. Social Services aren't going to pay for OP to take the matter to Court. If they did do this, they'd be bankrupt. Not a chance.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Social Services won't help, they will state it is a private arrangement. Social Services aren't going to pay for OP to take the matter to Court. If they did do this, they'd be bankrupt. Not a chance.

where did I say SS pay for it? I said the OP should have SS come out and assess their risk, OP can then take the report to the courts when instructs his solicitor where I said he should ask family and friends to loan him the cash, or if he doesn't have the cash then the SS would/should get a custody order but this may result in a SS taking the children and placing them into foster car while they do checks on mum and dad and that dad should request to have custody once the checks are done and that the children are placed onto the at risk or placed onto the child in need records.


If SS do not respond to this case I'd be very surprised, and may end up responding after police would be called by the mum any way and a police referral being made.


I personal think you did not read my post correctly.

Ms_Chocaholic

But SS won't make an assessment of the situation if the children are safe with dad. What concerns are there when they are with dad, if none, what is there to assess. SS can only respond to a referral, who is going to make that, dad? If so, how does it go -

Hello, I'd like to make a referral, I have concerns about my children in their mother's care so I have kept them at my home following contact. Okay, thank you for letting us know but if there are no concerns regarding the children in your care then there is nothing for us to do, thanks for your call and goodbye.

I'm sorry atrixblue but you're living in cloud cuckoo land. If you think SS would take the matter to Court and get a "custody order" - what is one of those, that is not something that SS would apply for, and place them in foster care (do you know how scarce foster carers are). Foster carers are only used as a LAST resort when no other family members are available who could care for them.

Also what reason is there for placing them on the "at risk record" - I'm sure you mean "subject of a Child Protection Plan" - but again if there is no risk by dad who has removed them from the risky situation (their mother) then no need for that either. Also no risk to assess from being with dad. Unless you're saying they are at risk from dad in which case the whole situation changes but I can see nothing to suggest that from OP's posts.