Splitting up fairly and without bitterness

foolofbeans

venetianlagoon wrote: »

Good luck with this one, we split without any of those probs and it started out ok, but got ugly real quick. We are over the hump now and civil, but it was hard at the time.

Sorry to hear that. I am going through phases of being civil and practical then being emotional, spiteful and tearful.
Trying to keep it civil and practical but it's so goddamn hard!!

ska_lover

foolofbeans wrote: »

Yes he just pays for one. We worked out what he would pay via the CSA calculator and what I would pay and deduct one from the other and we have an amount we agreed to. Of course agreeing to and paying are two very different things :rotfl:

Absolutely, I know too well from personal exp - what you mean about saying and doing two different things where maintenance is concerned.

Some people will say that 'everything can be conquered' but I think that is a crock and agree with you, when the trust is gone - it's gone (esp when there is a new woman on the scene) - and the foundations have crumbled - there is nothing there to build on.

People that do try and rebuild are rebuilding on rocky foundations only for the same problems to keep reoccurring down the line time and time again.

Morglin

foolofbeans wrote: »

Thank you Morglin. Unfortunately I know I don't have any rights to the house as it belongs to OH's boss.
I would think I am entitled to a share of the furniture and appliances but I can't take them and wondered if it's unfair to sell them to get the money to move when one child will be staying in the house and still needs to be provided for?

Married or not, I would get some legal advice as to what your rights are.

However, I wouldn't think it likely that no bitterness will creep in - my divorce started reasonably, I wanted nothing from him, yet within weeks all hell had broken loose, and it cost me thousands, I didn't have, and had to borrow with a bank loan, to get shot of the silly buggar for good....:whistle:


Lin

Savvy_Sue

foolofbeans wrote: »

Also any advice on how to be civil when all I want to do is shout and scream and wail how he's broken my heart

There are two parts to my suggested solution.

1. Don't give him the satisfaction.

2. Shout, scream and wail where he will never see or hear you. Whether that's here, or to a good friend or family member, or out in the open, or into your pillow.

Also, do you have a joint bank account? If you do, can you make sure that he can't run up a huge overdraft without you knowing? And get your own money paid into your own account.