I have lost my OS ways, help!

tatabubbly

Hi guys!

No big OS news here I'm afraid, OH is heading out tonight so I might just have a quiet girlie night in and do my nails and read a book! Gotta tidy up the house as I'm still not on top of things from after our holidays!!

Found out yesterday that I have 8 days to take before the end of the year in work �� kinda like free money isn't it?

Today I'm going to buy lunch in work as I've taken it in every other day!

Just planning out my day in work here at the moment. Hoping to get to my quotas today and then have a peaceful weekend

ailz95

Caterina You'll be in desperate need of your holiday when you get there. I expect it's a relief that DD has finally left her old life.

I enjoy reading your diary and do so every day, even though I don't post that much.

Hugs to everyone in need...

Ailz x

gran3

Caterina, if contractors continue to let you down, tell them they are in breach of contract, verbal or written, and that if they fail to comply you will get someone else to do the job and they will foot the bill. Record all conversations in writing. Its a pain but enough is enough.

Caterina

Good evening,

Gran3 welcome to the thread and thank you for the advice, we have toyed with doing just what you said, but it is sort of complicated, as the main contractor is a mate of DH's and he is reluctant to take legal action. However we have made clear to the electrician that what he does not finish will be done by someone else and have given him a firm deadline, tomorrow evening. We will be scrutinising their final bills very accurately!

Thank you all for kind words about my home and family situations. I know that the kitchen will be finished one day, but we will make it work soon. More important, though, is that DD is safe out of London. Sadly we parted in terribly bad terms, I was no longer prepared to mollycoddle and justify her dreadful dishonest behaviour and she could not take it, so she literally run off. To be honest, I am relieved, even if for a temporary time we do not have to take her lies or her drama when they are uncovered.

Phew....Breathe! I pray that she stays safe and grows up in her head and heart and decides to leave the bad path she has trodden for the last couple of years.

OS-wise, I am in trouble with the GC! Only £23 to go and a lot of days left in September. Going out for lunch with DS for a nice pub lunch in the sunshine and spending £25 did not help. But after the terrible night we spent we really needed some light relief. It was good in every sense and well worth it.

Luckily we are not so skint that we cannot absorb an overrun of the budget. But it is an interesting experiment and I shall continue, adjusting by trial and error and will get a better sense of spend after a few months.

DS and I talked a lot about the financial situation today, we discussed how if we rent out this house we could probably live in a much smaller space and make some money, at least for a couple of years. I think that DH would be up for it. Everything up in the air at the moment, see how it goes in the longer term, after we finish doing up the house.

Tomorrow trial run for an early morning babysit I have been booked up for in October, so it is an early night, especially after the dreadful sleepless night of yesterday.

Good night all.

ginnyknit

Life is very complex isnt it, we get things thrown at us and are expected to deal with it amongst all the rest.

Cranky of course now you have quiet times your mind will wander but
you had to do what was best for you and the hosue elf. Is he settled? make the most of your days and be good to yourself.

Caterina I wish I had a magic wand to finish your kitchen, Im sure everything would be easier to cope with for you all. Your Dd is probably best away from the situation and thnak goodness she has somewhere to go.

I have been finishing projects as I hardly get out of the house nowadays but it means Im not spending money other than basics. Have lots of plans in my head and have bought a nice note book in which I write a list everyday and tick it off the next day. Also means I am upto date with tasks such as ordering hubby meds. Now I need to save hard for special holiday next year, we are hoping (fingers crossed) to hire a motor home and travel for a week. the motor home solves many many problems for hubby - ie, toilet, shower and bed with us all the time! The stress of finding him a loo in the middle of nowhere is terrible.

So have lots on fleabay and am having a selling page on Fb for Christmas, just hoping it all goes to plan.

Caterina

Good morning,

Ginny thank you, I also wish I had a magic wand, but life does not work like that, ho hum. DD situation has gone on for so long that I am totally resigned, if she wants to self destruct there is nothing else we can do. We cannot save her if she does not want to save herself. Hard to accept but better accept it or our lives will be made unliveable by her stuff.

Last night late I got a text from the woman who I am meant to babysit for, cancelling the trial run as the baby starts nursery today. She wants me to spend time with him next week instead. I would have appreciated some more notice! Apart from anything else her text woke me up as I was in bed early for today's early start. Thought it was a text from DD, so was most irritated. Just as well I was so tired I managed to fall asleep straight away again. Thanks God for small mercies.

This sort of behaviour reminds me why I have stopped working as a doula. The total self absorption of some mothers, the well to do middle classes, they just don't take anyone else's needs into consideration, it is all me me me. They think that because they have a baby they are justified in making demands, chopping and changing at random, last minute, I had this for 10 years and in the end I said ENOUGH. Give me mischievous 7 year olds any time! I loved the babies, would work with babies all the time if it was not for the bloody capricious mothers. End of rant hehe

Very, very low mood. The (horrible, creepy) electrician should be back today for the LAST time. Yesterday he put external sockets on the outside wall. We had asked for one and he put two, a great big grey monstrosity. I am sure now he is working in spite, because of DH giving him the ultimatum. I am disgusted by the unprofessionality of this bunch.

Anyway, this brings me to my OS day programme, which amounts to not much, really.

Having decided that the GC is a bit too much stress (still counting but knowing I shall go well over budget), I need a bit of food today so will be going shopping. Before that, though, my friend is just back from Rome and has invited me for a cup of tea. I look forward to that.

After shopping it is lunch with DS, at home of course after yesterday's treat, then I have couple counselling with DH in the afternoon. No doubt we will talk about DD and her shenanigans and the effect this has on our relationship. I hope to get some coping tools. Our marriage is strong, thankfully, but there are so many issues from the past to iron out, and a big issue ongoing, communication. We feel very lucky and grateful to have the opportunity to do this via a charity, free, because we could not have afforded it privately. I enquired and the fees run into hundreds per session. Prohibitive.

One piece of good news, I scored yet another free cinema preview for this Sunday. DH told me he won't go as he is still painting the windows while the scaffolding is up, you won't catch me going up there, I suffer vertigo even on a small stepladder! So I might ask my friend this morning when I see her.

Have a good OS day.

tatabubbly

Hi Caterina! Your up early!!

It's a little bit later in the morning here, OH had a great time last night out with the fellas from work. I had an OS night in, a book and bed! he's feeling tender this morning but as he doesn't do it too often we will be relaxing today!

Need to make a plan for when my mum comes, she will be here on Wednesday 1st October and I'm really excited to see her. I'm hoping that bringing her over will give her an understanding of Middle East living and she mightn't worry as much about me and OH...

Today's plan : get food into OH, Skype my doggie back at home as she just got neutered, go get dry cleaning, make scrummy dinner tonight, get good film for me and OH to watch together!!

Hope everyone has a fab Friday!!

villagelife

Caterina - feeling for you the kitchen will be finished soon and it will be worth it when you have the kitchen you want.
It is hard but your DD has to live with the decisions she has made.

My day will involve making blackberry and apple pie - picked blackberries earlier while walking my dog. There were some wonderful cobwebs this morning glistening with dew on them.
I need to finish the washing and dry it on the line.
I have bulbs (bought cheaply) to plant.
I need to clean bathroom and kitchen, hoover the house and tidy up.
I must dig another vegetable bed and also cut the grass.

I may get most of it done as also have to go to bank, sort out car insurance and collect DS1 from station.

Caterina

Good morning,

Another big thank you for wise and kind words of encouragement from all of you.

Update:

No news from DD (better like this) but the heartache is almost unbearable. Almost. DH and DS are rocks of support and we all keep each other afloat and remind each other to go on, we still have each other and this keeps us positive, as far as possible.

If I weren't so bereft with the above, I would be whooping with joy, the creepy electrician has returned the house key, he will never cross my threshold again. I told DH that he will not be paid until we get a proper electrician to do a full check of his work. I am in half a mind not to pay him the balance at all, just send him a text saying sorry we cannot pay you, we have "domestic problem". The excuse he used for weeks for not turning up to work.

Quick plan for the day: walking to w8rose with friend (too emotionally frail to do bootcamp today) at least a walk will do me good, but the budget will be blown. However the rest of the day will see us taking builders debris out of the kitchen and taking kitcheny things in. By the end of tomorrow we plan to have a functioning kitchen of sorts and a fully operational living room.

Have a good day all x

grandmasam

Caterina...I feel for you re dd as had a lot of problems with mine years ago and we haven't spoken for over 10 years, and there is still that hurt if I dwell on it. So I made the decision to let her go and love her from my heart.

Went out yesterday with a fiver in my purse to wander round the garden centre as it was raining and I couldn't face any more painting. Any way ,saw a pair of purple suede shoes in the hot!er shoe concession, and fell hook line and sinker! Failed in a big way to be os,now I feel guilty as majority of my wardrobe is thanks to the cs in town.

Slow cooker beef casserole on, cakes to make and the fridge to sort and clean.Oh, and that fiver is still in my purse!
Caz...still feeling guilty