Debt related suicide

desperate_times

Yes I have thought about too at times so you are not alone although never seriously. I have some large life insurance policies which through the difficult times I have continued to pay and often think if they were cashed in then debts would go and my family would financially be in a great position, much better than now with me around. Of course I know it would be devastating to those around me, especially my children, so it just remains something that occasional pops into my head.

changeforbetter

savingmummy wrote: »

I would imagine a fair few people do ;(


I know of one local man who did take his life over debt, he had left a note for his family.
It wasn`t a large amount in comparison to some either which is awfully sad.
At lot of people are unaware of the help available ie the national debtline and the other available debt charities.


Having support really is a must, I`d imagine if someone had noone to turn too, and couldn't bring themselves to talk to the right people regarding their debts it could be a very lonely place.

I can relate to this (though I have never seriously considered suicide). But I do feel extremely lonely in this sometimes - because I am still too afraid to reveal everything to my nearest people. Cowardice, perhaps, but it's because I've broken promises and want to sort this out without worrying them again. But I know without the online support I've had (in various places including here) I'd feel even more alone. It's hard, there's no denying that, to know how bad things are and keep pretending they're fine. My personal consolation is trying to sort things out (which I am now) and telling myself it will improve over time. If I manage that, then I will have improved not only my own life, but done it without stress for others around me. I would emphasise, one reason I've never really been suicidal is that I know that would hurt those people so much more.

desperate_times

changeforbetter wrote: »

I can relate to this (though I have never seriously considered suicide). But I do feel extremely lonely in this sometimes - because I am still too afraid to reveal everything to my nearest people. Cowardice, perhaps, but it's because I've broken promises and want to sort this out without worrying them again. But I know without the online support I've had (in various places including here) I'd feel even more alone. It's hard, there's no denying that, to know how bad things are and keep pretending they're fine. My personal consolation is trying to sort things out (which I am now) and telling myself it will improve over time. If I manage that, then I will have improved not only my own life, but done it without stress for others around me. I would emphasise, one reason I've never really been suicidal is that I know that would hurt those people so much more.

Thank you. That sort of sums up my situation as well. I have thought about suicide but never seriously considered it if that makes any sense. Nice to see others feel the same way.

Kate_fixing_it

desperate_times wrote: »

Yes I have thought about too at times so you are not alone although never seriously. I have some large life insurance policies which through the difficult times I have continued to pay and often think if they were cashed in then debts would go and my family would financially be in a great position, much better than now with me around. Of course I know it would be devastating to those around me, especially my children, so it just remains something that occasional pops into my head.

I don't wish to sound mean/nasty/critical but the life insurance wouldn't pay out. I can completely understand the mindset in the moment and see why in the situation where you see that large sum "sitting there" you would contemplate it but insurance companies simply won't hand over the cash for a "self inflicted" death just as regular policies don't pay out for circumstances that involve reckless behaviour (e.g. skydiving, extreme sports, etc). So to anyone reading this, forget that idea right now. Reach out TO ANYBODY, even a stranger at a bus stop if need be. Suicide, like debt, is something that touches many many more people than we realise but nobody ever talks about it.

I'm glad you have family around you to deter the thoughts. It's a horrible irony that in our darkest moments we feel unable to reach out as that's when we need support most.

Kate x

desperate_times

Kate_fixing_it wrote: »

I don't wish to sound mean/nasty/critical but the life insurance wouldn't pay out. I can completely understand the mindset in the moment and see why in the situation where you see that large sum "sitting there" you would contemplate it but insurance companies simply won't hand over the cash for a "self inflicted" death just as regular policies don't pay out for circumstances that involve reckless behaviour (e.g. skydiving, extreme sports, etc). So to anyone reading this, forget that idea right now. Reach out TO ANYBODY, even a stranger at a bus stop if need be. Suicide, like debt, is something that touches many many more people than we realise but nobody ever talks about it.

I'm glad you have family around you to deter the thoughts. It's a horrible irony that in our darkest moments we feel unable to reach out as that's when we need support most.

Kate x

Thanks for the kind words Kate. I am not seriously thinking about it just sometimes wonder. However, and it may be reckless for pointing this out, a lot of insurance policies do pay out provided suicide is 12 months after taking out the policy and there was no record of mental health problems at the time of taking out the policy. In a moment of darkness I checked the policy terms...and then the lights came back on.

Karen777

Again - just think it's worth posting this link:

http://www.samaritans.org/
08457 90 90 90
jo@samaritans.org
Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, Chris, PO Box 90 90, Stirling, FK8 2SA
You can find your local branch from their website

Being in debt is not a crime. Don't give the money lenders your mental health. Save it for the people you love.

We all have secrets in life, and that's just how things are but when things are really bad, we need to let someone else help us until the crisis passes.

National_Debtline

Hello there,

As I'm sure you can all imagine, we often speak to people that are incredibly desperate/frightened/low/depressed about their debt situation. Severe debt can affect different people in different ways. As I've mentioned on a couple of other threads, the key reason I work here is because I fell into a very difficult situation financially when I was younger. It was absolutely the most frightening time of my life. Do excuse the irony, but I really wish I knew about National Debtline or Stepchange at the time. I still owe money to this very day - but it's being managed. But I will never forget how bleak life felt when it wasn't being managed.

Over the years I have spoken to around 20,000 people, and for every single one of them there has been a way forward. A solution that will allow them to become debt-free at some point in the future. For some, this could mean a formal insolvency-based solution such as Bankruptcy or a Debt Relief Order. For others it may be an arrangement where they make lower, more affordable payments. Some of our callers are happy to pay a token payment of £1 per month on their debts indefinitely although that's not generally recommended.

I cannot agree any more that reaching out is absolutely the thing to do in a situation like this. There is as much help and support on hand that you need. For many people, it's simply the fear of the unknown that concerns them - and this fear can escalate and snowball quickly. It's often not helped by overly agreessive creditors and their constant demands - but there are ways to put a stop to that quickly. We're not here to be judgemental, we often don't need a great deal of historic information about someone's circumstances. We're more interested in what debts people have, how much they owe and what their current situation is. With that information we can work together to plan the best route forward. There is nothing more important than impartial, holistic, objective advice and support. Nothing. That's what we, and our good friends at the other charities such as Stepchange and the CAB do.

I would be lying if I said that hearing people really upset and crying on the phone doesn't get to me, because it does. Even though I've heard many stories about rude collections agencies, threatening bailiffs and unreasonable mortgage lenders over the years, I still often feel quite shocked about the behaviour which is being directed at vulnerable people. As already highlighted, there is a direct correlation between debt and mental health. The best part of my job, though, is being able to witness someone turn a corner - and often within a 45 minute telephone call. This may come across as a bit of a cliched statement, but it's true - You can often hear in someone's voice that the weight is being lifted off their shoulders.

I love the internet as places like this very forum can offer 24/7 help and support from people who are in a very similar situation. They know what it's like too. There is strength in numbers, that's for sure.

I just hope that if there is anyone who feels like there isn't a solution to their situation seeks help and support. I can assure you, there is *always* a solution to get debts under control.

Best wishes,

David @ National Debtline.

sourcrates

Just to echo the above, and what martin says about debt, he has yet to see a case that cant be solved, in the end, its only money, and they cant have what you haven't got, once this realisation sets in, you realise that a lot of the threats and intimidation, are just hot air.
Even if you are taken to court, they wont make you pay more than you can afford to pay, even Bankruptcy, which once had such a stigma attached to it, doesn't always have the consequences it once had, I know been in debt can be a real drag, and gets you down, creditors pestering you 24/7, but with a little knowledge and help, it can all be managed, its a combination of ignorance of your rights, and doing nothing to help yourself that creates problems, to be honest, there is plenty of help out there, all you need to do is ask.

matttye

You only have one life, and it's certainly not worth losing over a concept built by society.

I often wonder if we'd be happier as cave men.

My cave, your cave. Simples.

sax11

in regards to the op - yes i did think about it, debt wasn't the only problem but the only thing that did stop me was the kids and i didnt want to be remembered (if at all) as someone so selfish. Still wonder 'what if' though and the same reason not too crops up