Debt related suicide

Missko

Hello,


Don't worry, I'm not planning on using this as a method of solving my problems but it DID occur to me that, had I not had my parents to:
a) help bail me out
b) to think of if I did anything stupid,
that I may have been tempted, when things were at their worst.


The doom and gloom that's out there also doesn't help, re: house prices, mortgages rates going up, no pensions until you're 479 years old...does anyone else think the only solution is a bullet to the head or a lottery win (preferably the latter).


Don't know why I'm rambling like this or the point of this. Just wondered if I was alone.


Kirsten
(Ps have a look at my diary and send me some encouragement!):p
Please.
thank you.

Missko

Having a little look at Martin's guide to Debt and Mental Health.
Makes sense.
I have often bought loads of stuff in an attempt to cheer myself up or when I've been on a manic type phase.

Monkeyballs

Hi Op,

Glad to hear you're not contemplating...

Whenever I feel depressed I look in the mirror and have a giggle, honest I'm turning into Tommy Cooper

On a serious note, it's easy to sink. But sometimes all you need is somewhere to voice your mind and have completely random people (not the scumbag type you get on some juvenile chat rooms) communicate with you to help you realise it's a big world and lots of people care - even strangers! You might not know it if you met them in the street but people are generally nice and having the support of someone, anyone, especially those in a similar position is important.

Well, that's my thoughts anyway...

MB of G x

Kate_fixing_it

Coming from a person with a relative that has attempted it twice it is the cruellest thing you can do to those around you. I have extremely strong feelings regarding suicide, it solves NOTHING. It casts a very long shadow. It's over a decade since I found my relative after his second attempt and I still can't forget. Had he been successful we'd have still had to deal with the debt (at the same time as everything else) DCAs don't just go away, they still want their pound of flesh from the estate, it was bad enough fending them off when he was on life support, never mind trying to do that whilst dealing with grief. As things stand he now can't get life or health insurance, certain jobs are out of the question and any children in the future will be visited by social services (so I'm told).

Now, I've had my angry statement I can tell you I actually do understand why people see it as a solution. In the panic of the moment where you can see straight I can see why but I can never agree.

There's always another day and another solution. There is also always someone to care even if it's "just" the samaritans - there's someone out there to listen and help. It's a very sad irony that debt is such a taboo that when people reach the point where they think this is the only solution they don't know that those around them are potentially up to their neck in it too.

No life is so bad financially that it's worth dying. I know it's a clich! but none of us know what tomorrow brings. We need to educate people that debt isn't a crime and that there is always a way to solve it. I always feel a little angry/sad for those that say they've lost everything when what they mean is they've lost everything material.

Like everyone else I have my bad days, I beat myself up for the mess I'm in but I try to quickly pull myself up. There is ALWAYS someone worse off than me. I'm incredibly lucky to have the things (physical, emotional and intangible) that I do have. I believe we're here for a reason and by taking our own lives we may not achieve that purpose - tomorrow could be the day that we save someone else. That single thought is enough to keep me plodding through the worst of days.

Kate x

Karen777

Hello. I think it's something many people think of when there seems like no way out. Thankfully many people find help and support. All things pass and there is always a way out, even if it doesn't feel like it.

It's worth posting this here I think in case anyone is in need of help. Confidential, non judgemental help on the phone, by email, text or in person.

http://www.samaritans.org/

daphnemoon

Picking up on your comment about having "a manic type phase".

If you feel that you have manic phases outside the "normal" range of mood please go and see your doctor.

All the best.

solvencyseeker

Missko wrote: »

Don't know why I'm rambling like this or the point of this. Just wondered if I was alone.

Your post concerns me - you must have this in the back of your mind at the very least. You are definitely not alone.


When times have been very difficult for me (death of my sister and best friend, 1 sons serious mental health problems, the other sons serious physical health problems and then my husband being suddenly unemployed all happened within the same year - let alone the ensuing money problems) I found counselling, which my GP arranged, a real help.


I hope you will seek professional advice as well as the support on here, which is really helping me at the moment (thanks folks!).


Take care and try to put your money worries in perspective (I see you have also posted on the thread about this) x

whitewing

I think suicidal thoughts when you have debt problems could be more common than in the general population. I think, and hope, that debt-related suicide would be incredibly rare.

First port of call is the gp, if anyone is having such thoughts. Having been through a recession, they will have seen a lot of cases.

Then it's the mh and debt guide and some of the posts/threads on the debt free wannabe board.You will get help there. There is always something that can be done to make like more bearable.

RuthnJasper

I've tried several times to do away with myself largely over debt problems. But Kate_fixing_it has the right suggestion.

It is SO difficult; but these days when (like now) things seem very tough, I try and remember how lucky I am to have what I do have. My little Housing Association place, my dog... so many don't have these blessings.

There's no easy solution however; everyone's situation is different. But I do my best to think about what I have, rather than what I don't have...

There are good resources out there as well these days; the MSE debt and mental health guide, The Samaritans, etc... also http://www.mind.org.uk/ has been incredibly helpful to me in past troubles.

With very best wishes. x

[simon]

Outstanding June 2014 -
Credit Card £4500
Loan from Dad £11,500

16k in debt ?

Thats not too bad.

I had a 13k debt when i was 21, Just paid it off this year, i am now 26.

I had a good full time job which changed to part time. I also rented an apartment.

Broke up with the girl friend, had my hours cut to part time and Got in debt very fast with bills, i had to loose the apartment, almost lost the car the (13k debt) and the debt company just kept adding lots of interest.

My mum helped me pay the a few months of the car, I had to go live with my parents, Board free, its taken me 2 years to pay off the debt from bills and the rest of the car loan.

I felt really rubbish.

In that time i also learn a lot about money and mental health from books i started reading.

I have learned how to manage my money a lot better. How to save every penny i have. I no longer leave money laying around i put everything i have in to the bank all the time. If i draw out ten pounds and only spend £2 i put the £8 change straight back in to the bank. I keep it topped up to avoid bank charges, i use to have loads and loads of bank charges in the past.

I even have a spread sheet with all my costs on it. I watch everything. I know future payments too, like road tax ect. They are all on my budget.

I have learned that the more in control i am of the money i have, the more i can do with it and the more i feel in control of my life.

I am not debt free and starting to work for my self on a full time basis.

Its pretty impossible to rent a house on 1 full time job. I would need a full time job and a part time job. By working for myself and having my part time job my chance of moving out increases and opens opportunities up for me int he future.

I think i will always keep a hourly paid job for security if things don't work out working for myself.

I do want my own house but i aint going to get one until i am early more than enough. For the time been i will rent when i move out from my parents. At least then if anything goes wrong i will be able to claim housing benefit and have a roof over my head.

Money isnt everything. But having my own space / roof over my head is one of the most important things in my life.

I don't like to feel "stuck" financially, Their is always options, i.e working for yourself, or for someone else. I guess the more you need a job / money the more desperate you are the more confident and stronger you become and you start to be very good at interviews or have the courage to take risks and make things work out for yourself.

the £1.95 coffee i use to buy 5 days a week use to cost me £39.00 a month! I now don't buy coffee from the cafe and i keep that money in the bank. That is a saving of £468.00 per year !!!

I guess the more you want something the more you start to believe in yourself to get it.

savingmummy

I would imagine a fair few people do ;(


I know of one local man who did take his life over debt, he had left a note for his family.
It wasn`t a large amount in comparison to some either which is awfully sad.
At lot of people are unaware of the help available ie the national debtline and the other available debt charities.


Having support really is a must, I`d imagine if someone had noone to turn too, and couldn't bring themselves to talk to the right people regarding their debts it could be a very lonely place.