Things you should not do...

thriftmonster

Don't get a MW for the first time and expect ds2 (aged 14) to realise that if you heat a sausage roll for 15 mins in the oven it doesn't take 15 mins on high in the MW. The smell of smoke doesn't half linger!!

madnotstupid

don't attempt to sterilise dishcloths / dishtowels in the microwave to save boiling them. they caught on fire and made loads of sparks. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the microwave's demise a few weeks later . . .

snowleopard61

Don't leave a fish pie to defrost (or a cake to cool) on the worktop unless you are quite sure it is completely out of reach of a large hungry dog. (Not great for the dog's digestion either, so you suffer twice over, not to mention the poor dog!)

When short of space in a small kitchen and looking for a place to put a nice treacle tart in a pyrex dish, do select a cold plate on the hob, otherwise you may find yourself momentarily considering the risk to your guests of swallowing shards of glass before deciding it isn't worth it.

When feeding the dog and putting a wash on at the same time, concentrate, so you don't put the washing powder in the dog's bowl (she didn't eat it, thankfully - just looked so puzzled that it dawned on me what I'd done - also fortunately before I put the dog food in the washing machine drawer).

Don't serve up tinned peaches for pudding and leave them on the kitchen worktop while eating dinner, if you have a cat, or you may find they've lost their juice. You may even find that you're so determined to be economical that you go ahead with your pudding regardless.

fatnan

When baking bread buns, Don't leave them to 'rise' within easy reach of a greedy Labrador. The rest of the day was spent worrying about possible ruptured stomach and suffering disgusting smells. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

monnagran

When putting things into the freezer do not leave it unlabelled under the impression that you will remember what the contents are. Of course you won't. What you will do is to serve up a pudding of chicken and ham pie with custard to visitors that you wish to impress.

Not telling you who did this, you have to guess.

x

man_of_faith

Do not wash white and red things together.

Do not try to cook anything in the dishwasher.
Trying to explain the really odd fishy smell away is a complete no go.

Do not put eggs in a burco boiler to cook. People get very agrieved when having calcium enriched drinks.

butterfly2001

always check the date on your cooking ingredients before serving them up to guests- my now mother in law did this for first meal i had with them and the dumplings served tasted foul as they were a year out of date!

sam.4000

Not kitchen based but still in keeping with the thread.

Do not decide that instead of moving the 5 litre paint tin to get to the plastic sheeting, pulling it would work just as well. No it didn't the pot upended onto the mower ( bought a couple of months earlier) and covered the shed, me and everything within a 3 metre radius. An hour and a half of cleaning removed most of the paint of the mower but getting the mower out of the shed through the outhouse left a lovely trail of paint which I only could remove some as it had already dried in places. The floor of the shed will never look the same again nor will my neighbours who saw me out of the window in just my underwear ( clothes were the first thing to get washed) cleaning the mower.

[Deleted User]

Don't try balancing in your right hand with one half of a jam and cream sponge cake youve spent ages cooking whilst trying to grab the other half and carefully placing it on the right handed piece. The left hand flipped too far and the top half of the sponge landed in the washing up bowl!!!! The right handed piece which was the bottom desintegrated in my hands.
Don't try and hurry dinner up by putting gravy granuals in the same coloured cup as your coffee. I poured boiling water in both cups, stirred and then poured coffee on my dinner and took a mouthful of gravy granuals!!!!

hoglet121

do not mistake sesame seeds for couscous "this couscous is taking a long time to absorb the water"

do not wash your trainers in the dishwasher (DH) so that they don't get bashed around in the washing machine

do not attempt to cut a car windscreen wiper to size with my meat cleaver (DH)