Things you should not do...

candygirl

Stick a tray of flapjack mix in the oven , so the tray catches fire, like I did last night:eek:

CyclingLondonSaver

Don't try and balance in one hand a plate with your just-served dinner while holding a full drink in the other, as my elderly aunt did.

Cue mis-balance and dinner in the cat's litter tray. :eek:

Dr._Shoe

Be very wary when opening a hard to open thermos full of cheese soup (!). Luckily it went all over the young lady who asked me to open it and not all over me. There is still a load on the ceiling. Apparently it ferments.

Never eat yellow snow.

Never trust a dog to guard your dinner.

Cats like to trip their owners up.

Heels, floor length dresses and stairs are not a combination that encourages gracefulness.

Never get a hairdo that will spoil if you trip on the stairs and end up in a heap at the bottom.

Lean on your boyfriend when going down stairs in heels and a floor length dress, especially when you have spent two hours in a salon getting your hair done in a style that will be ruined when you land on your head.

Dr._Shoe

Oh yes.

When boyfriend phones you to say that his car's been stolen, make sure that the car you're jumping into to run down to town to pick him up isn't actually his car owing to the fact that he'd taken yours so he can top it up for you and forgotten which car he was in.

foreign_correspondent

Don't put a large jar of home made jam on a wonky shelf in the same room as a greedy dog overnight...

I woke up to find the shelf hanging off the wall, the dog looking smug, and sparkling clean glass jam jar shards all over the kitchen floor, but oddly, no signs of the jam at all...

Cue emergency dash to the vets, and an £800 operation to remove the multiple glass shards the dog had swallowed whilst devouring the jam from the broken jar :eek:

annem38

Colleague in work once got a call from her lodger saying that she'd had a small "problem", but not too worry, the nice firemen had got there quickly! Turns out, to save washing up she'd put an unopened tin of beans in a pan on the stove and then gone for a shower, resulting explosion was very loud, hence she called the fire brigade from upstairs.

Apparently, they were finding beans everywhere for weeks:eek:

rosie383

I haven't laughed so much for ages!!!

If you are standing on the workbench in the kitchen holding up a bit of new ceiling which you are replacing, and your DH says, 'You get down and I will get up', DON'T take your time getting down. My DH decided to leap like a monkey onto the workbench before I had a chance to get down. The workbench, which was the only bit of the kitchen which was good enough that we weren't going to replace, neatly broke in two with the combined weight of us both on it.
Because we couldn't get anything similar to replace it with, we had to replace all of the work surfaces in the whole kitchen!

Don't squirt half a bottle of neat Stardrops on the kitchen floor to clean it. My friend's OH did this 'to help out'. They were skating on it for weeks!!!

jemb

When you're 17 and your parents are on holiday, dont try clean quickly before they get home and squirt oven cleaner on a solid mahogany polished table instead of Mr Sheen. Suprisingly very similar bottles, NOT however the same effect!

samanthaneww2d

Scorpio_girlie wrote: »

Don't mistakenly pick up and use a tube of deep heat instead of canestan cream!

I couldn't stop laughing at this ( sorry) you poor thing thanks for sharing this has cheered me up no end.

samanthaneww2d

judi24 wrote: »

Don't wrap the remote for the bedroom Tv in the bedding and then put it in the wash!!! It didn't like it much! and has never worked again!

I did this but with my mobile phone.