Things you should not do...

Nix143

Don't decide to clean the tops of the kitchen cabinets by standing on the work surface when you are 8 and a half months pregnant. You will fall off, bounce off the cooker and have to walk up the road sobbing to phone your mum - me, 20 years ago. Still have a faint scar on my belly but DS appears to be unharmed


Don't measure out a tsp of garlic oil when you are cooking and then use the same teaspoon to stir your brew!

Don't leave a raspberry pavlova on a low table where a very naughty pug can find it. You will finish your Christmas dinner to find that it has disappeared.

Similarly don't leave wine glasses on the floor as said pug has a small head/long tongue and a taste for a new world red

themull1

Don't push down the lid of a brabantia bin and BEFORE you see if the lid has popped up, throw half a ton of vegetable peelings at it. It obviously didn't pop up.

themull1

Don't cut your finger deeply on a knife in the kitchen, then shake it reallt hard - blood is hard to remove from a ceiling.....

themull1

Don't do what my brother did - making an arrow in the garage with a bit of dowelling and a stanley knife, working down towards his hand, blade slipped down....he still has scars.

Same kid had cyst on cheek, don't use same stanley knife to cut cheek, and pop cyst out onto bathroom mirror for mam to clean up....mind you, no scar!!!

2gorgeousgirls

Don't use sharp knife to separate frozen sausages. Hubby did this despite me warning him not to. Agreed he should have listened when knife went right through palm - and I do mean right through.

He then removed knife and insisted he didn't need medical care. 4 days later hand was very infected, so off we go to a&e where he ends up with several internal and external stitches.

Also don't take hot dish from oven and place directly on laminate worktop- again, hubby. This happened the day before we were moving so we had to apologise profusely and leave new owners money to cover replacing the worktop.

Lastly, when placing Sunday roast in oven please ensure that all plastic handled knives have been removed from top of said roast. Sunday dinner consisting of only potatoes and veg is not as enjoyable as a meal containing roast meat. Again, this was hubby - anyone else wondering why I married him, cos I certainly am! It must have been because he makes me laugh.

2gorgeousgirls

Just remembered one from a colleague.

Don't have the car park attendants in the high rise check all floors and then insist on calling police to report car stolen before checking your ticket and realising you're in the wrong car park.

This is such a funny thread.

greentiger

Don't - no matter how instinctive it is - try to catch a toppling cactus plant! It is astonishing just how many prickles they can shed! And removing them is every bit as painful as acquiring them was!

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

Never go out in public with a string vest as a top, if you have no chest hair.

mashedavocado

Don't try and catch open scissors, or a knife, or your razor, if you drop them. There's certain things you should just leap out of the way for. (Not me, but OH does this a LOT.)

loveka

Do not put dates with stones in your Kitchenaid food processor then when you hear a funny noise hold the lid in place until the motor burns out.

The irony is that I was making homemade truffles for Christmas presents to save money.

I loved that food processor.