Can't sleep at night, any advice??

BrussellSprout

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ViolaLass

BrussellSprout wrote: »

Viola Lass - he would never ever do anything detrimental for the baby, I am forward planning, he would rather deal with the problem as it arrives, we are just about paying for everything now, and he would just rather take a wait and see method.

It's great that you're so loyal to him and that you feel he's supporting you. My point is more that a 'wait and see' strategy isn't really appropriate here - it's clear what will happen if these issues are not dealt with, which is why it's good that you're trying to sort them out now.

It would be such a shame if a lack of joint planning meant that you had to go back to work earlier than you would otherwise (if you want to stay off longer). 'Wait and see' won't help that, forward joint planning can. So he has nice things from before you got together but he chose to be with you and presumably chose to have a baby with you as did you with him.

I would be looking to him to discuss this with you so that you can come up with some strategies and have time to put them in place/prepare for them before the baby arrives.

'Wait and see' implies things might change on their own or that they're not really so bad. If the latter is true, he needs to convince and reassure you. If it's the former then he needs to pull his act together and work with you. A stressed mother is not good for a baby.

BrussellSprout

As I previously stated, I am not discussing my partner.. just my own debt.

dapast

Maybe I misunderstood, I thought when your wage halved because of maternity you would not be able to keep up the repayments?

BrussellSprout

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BrussellSprout

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dapast

If you contact the loan companies now, in plenty of time, and explain the situation and ask for a reduction in the payments for 6 months then they might go for it, but not paying the full payment on the date due will result in a mark against your credit rating, so although you haven't defaulted yet, you will if you don't pay the full monthly amount every month as this will breach your credit agreement. If you think it will only be for 6 months and you will be fine after you go back to work then keep the same bank, clear the overdraft, pay the reduced payments, then go back to normal.

If you think you will struggle after you go back to work then maybe you need to look at some kind of longer term debt management, in which case, open a new account, get your wage paid into the new account, don't pay the overdraft and seek professional advice, people recommend step change as a good choice.

But unfortunately you can't have it both ways, and the more you try to avoid the situation or "wait and see" the worse the situation will become.

And the stress and sleeplessness isn't helping your baby or you!!

dapast

Barnados is good, in Hampshire we have little pickles markets too, at local town halls and leisure centers, these are also good. Not sure if they are also where you are??

BrussellSprout

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BrussellSprout

never heard of a little pickles market! I'm in lancashire.