Can't sleep at night, any advice??

BrussellSprout

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On_my_way

Firstly, well done, you have admitted that you need assistance to sort all of this out.

I would suggest that you have a really good study of the pages here to get some decent advice from. You should probably call Step Change or somewhere and get some advice, especially because of your pregnancy.

Can your partner not take on another job or more hours to be able to contribute more and to be able to pay for the baby when they arrive?

Congratulations on your pregnancy, you can sort this all out and educate yourself towards a better life.

Look at the challenge pages too which are great for seriously reducing spending and looking at how you spend and what you could save.

BrussellSprout

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sourcrates

Hi,
Right for starters (I`m a dad of 3, sometimes things just happen in the wrong order don't they) you should be able to claim a maternity grant, it used to be £400, but may of gone up, most people on a low income can get this, there are also the Tax credits you can claim when the baby is born, you can also claim free milk powder, etc if on a low income, Google is your friend here.


If the unsecured credit becomes a problem while you are on maternity leave, simply stop paying it until your circumstances improve, make sure you pay the essentials, like rent, council tax and utilities, and babys food of course, they are the essential bills you need to pay, anything else can wait.


As long as you write to your creditors and explain the situation in detail to them, there should be few problems, if its going to be more of a long term problem, then at some point you may have to agree lower repayments with them, or go on a debt management plan.
For now baby is your priority, everything else can wait.


Lots of info here :


http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/benefits_e/benefits_children_and_young_people_ew/benefits_for_families_and_children.htm

BrussellSprout

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On_my_way

I understand about your partner sticking with his current job but he needs to get a second job to cover the other hours until you have finished your maternity leave.

You shouldn't have to cut your maternity leave short if you sort things out now while you can. He has to understand that you need to get to grips with this now, not when your baby arrives but right now. He absolutely has to earn more than he does now. How does he afford to have lots of nice things, which he won't sell, when he is only working 16 hours a week? I am not knocking him and can understand that he needs to keep his current job going to get past the probation period/wait for more hours but it appears that you are paying for a lot more than he is which is why you are struggling with your own debts. That is exactly how I got into so much debt, because of my ex who paid a lot less than I did.

You have quite a lot time until you are due for some serious budgeting and paying off debt. You really need your partner to contribute more to cover the utility bills, rent etc.

Are you eligible for maternity pay from your employer as well as statutory maternity pay? That should add up to a reasonable income during your maternity leave. You need your maternity leave, for your baby and yourself. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect your partner to step up to the plate before the baby arrives.

It is good that you can share childcare responsibility once the baby is born but you can cross that bridge when you come to it, right now you need to increase your earnings as a couple.

sourcrates

BrussellSprout wrote: »

Hi Sourcrates. Unfortunately no, I am not entitled to the grant. The grant is only for people who are currently on any type of benefits, I earn more than minimum wage and neither of us claim any benefits or state help and are not entitled to any, we won't even get tax credits at the moment until I have the child. My midwife gave me all the details for surestart grants, food vouchers..etc I contacted all the relevant people but because I'm working full time and earning I'm not entitled to anything.

In terms of stop paying the loans... how would I do that. the 16k in personal loans I owe are to my own bank, who hold all my accounts and collect my money via direct debit... There wouldn't be any way of me stopping it from what I can see?

They must of changed the rules on surestart grants, just checked and your right, as we got one (was 12 years ago now) and we were both working, however, the issue with the bank.


What people normally do in your situation is to open a new basic bank account, at a bank you don't have debts with, then get your wages etc paid into it.
Your old account, plus whatever OD you have, just becomes another debt you add to any future payment plan or DMP.
As long as you keep the creditors up to date with your situation, you should be ok.

ViolaLass

BrussellSprout wrote: »

The loans are mine alone and haven't contributed towards anything for him or our home, so you can understand that he is a little annoyed about having to pay off my debts with me - although he understand's he will have to while I have my maternity leave.

You're having this baby together - he needs to step up and act like you're a couple, which means solving your joint problems (including the debts, wherever they may have come from) together.

Why is he willing to keep things that could be used to raise money and make life better for his partner and child?

On_my_way

There are good posts on here about how to prepare for your baby in an MSE way which shouldn't add more financial pressure for you.

There's a lot of positives for you, at least you are forward planning

BrussellSprout

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BrussellSprout

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