I Need To Ask

Hard_Up_Hester

My DD does one toddler group with her dd, she goes most weeks but not every week. She has lost 'friends' over this but now has some like minded friends. She spends most days at home & all her children can amuse themselves without supervision.
I know one parent who drags their kids to every available activity for 2 reasons, firstly so the kids don't mess up her 'perfect' home & secondly because she has no interest in spending time with her children, this is sad, but true.

gayle1

put mine out to play at 10 this morn with other wee boy to dig holes and look 4 buried treasure been in for lunch and thats about the most ive seen them today x keep looking out and as long as there not screaming their fine honestly we make things far more complited than it needs to be

notanewuser

My DD is 3.75. While our NCT group was all on maternity leave we would meet up once a week for baby signing and then on for coffee/lunch. We might meet just for coffee on another day, but we were very canny about where and times etc. Then we swapped signing for a music class once a week, followed by lunch when the little ones were about 1. Then a drama group from 2 onwards. Ones that didn't want to do the class just came for lunch. That went on for a year or so. In the summer we'd meet but just take a picnic to the park/picnic etc. Some children then started at a part time playgroup and we would meet for lunch and play once a week instead of a class. If dry, we go somewhere outside, if wet, soft play or someone's house. DD is perfectly happy playing alone (for hours!), but those friends are like siblings to her. So much so that even though some have now moved away, and we see them less frequently, when we do meet up it's like no time has passed for them. It's lovely. We probably could have done some things a bit cheaper, but in all honesty we've never spent that much!

I have one day a week where I stay in my pyjamas and don't go out. Gives me chance to catch up on housework etc.

moments_of_sanity

I have 2 girls, 18 & 17 and we didn't do much in the way of toddler groups etc when they were young. We preferred being home, playing or in the garden with sand pits, paddling pools etc. we did walks around the area where we would see what wildlife was about, we did walks up to our local woods, fed ducks at the local pond, played at the park, cooked lots of treats, we once spent a whole day building a Duplo train track that went around the whole of the downstairs and sent the trains round with 'deliveries' on. They did have to spend time amusing themselves though when I was busy ironing or cooking dinner etc.

We have some lovely local activities here where I live that are absolutely free. We have a local 'Parks Trust' who organise local meet ups in local woods, just for parents and toddlers so it's certainly worth looking in your local library for the occasional local activity to take part in.

Most of all, make the most of your time with your child, mine are now old enough that they don't need me anymore and I so miss the times we could just spend the day together making memories. I barely see my eldest DD at the weekend, she is off now with new friends and boyfriend and 17 yr old DD loves being out of the house, not because we are awful but she is very much an outdoors person so her and friends will go to the local woods with picnic and drinks and spend all day there at the weekends (even if the weather is awful they seem to have fun).

You are doing an amazing job :T

kboss2010

You're not alone! My friend is finding the same, she's struggling with two young children and a partner on not much more than minimum wages, why is there so much keeping up with the Jones'? And it's not just SAHM's that have this issue!

I joined a dance group for fun but recently the person who runs the group has started to organise lots of trips abroad with the team, festival bookings all over the country etc. etc. and putting huge amounts of pressure on us all to either attend them all including rehearsals or leave! What I think she often forgets is that, whilst she earns a decent wage in a highly paid job, the rest of us are on temporary contracts, doing PhDs, looking for work etc. and simply can't afford the travel costs. I get that the team is her "baby" but asking me to commit to using weeks of holidays and several weekends in a row for practise (and we're talking ENTIRE weekends, not just a few hours here and there) when I'm juggling visiting sick relatives and a bf who lives in another city is unreasonable but her response is simply "I don't care, everyone else is making sacrifices except you!".

Honestly, I'm *this* close to telling her to shove it.

Emm-in-a-pickle

I`ve been both mum and fostermum, sometime working mum/sometime stuck-at-home. I have had experience of some intensive `toddlers social life` (not very keen) and of the boredom of having to chit-chat with mums I didn`t feel much in common with.
I can see the OP`s point, wanting some company (for both her & son), but her time and money are hers to decide how she prefers to spend them.
OP, if you are happy to have folks bring their little ones to your house to play, then continue to invite them. If it bothers you that the hospitality isn`t returned, then stop. Personally, I felt happier with others coming to mine than us going to theirs, I didn`t mind a bit of mess.
When the kids were older, I also preferred them bringing friends here than rambling off with them!
We`re all different, just because others have kids the same age doesn`t mean they have to base their social lives in cliques revolving around that one factor, that is just sad.

Enjoy your life with your child, and don`t worry - at that age lots of tots are `only` ones - till more come along, pl;aying alone or with mum is quite normal.