in a rut

missnww

If Im not getting drunk on vodka in the house on my own then I am eating loads of crap like cakes and the most unhealthiest foods I can find and making myself sick after. I get annoyed with myself for doing this, really dont know why I do and yet I do it all over again. I find myself always ruining any kind of relationships I have with anyone. I dont feel healthy. I am on anitdepressents. Im seeing the doctor again tommarrow. Just wondered if anyone else is doing anything similar

ska_lover

You poor thing - I have no answers, but there must be SOMETHING postive about your life?

purpleshoes_2

There are support groups that can help you, a google search would be able to give you numbers of groups that might help with your eating disorder and issues with alcohol.

PlymouthMaid

Tell us some more about yourself. How old are you? Do you live alone? Working? etc. You sound unhappy and have got into a cycle of behaviour which will only make you more low and unhealthy. I know it is easier said than done but you need to change some things in your life. Tell us more and perhaps we can make suggestions. You certainly will not be the only person to have got in this rut.

meritaten

I think you are trapped in a 'vicious circle'. Do you really WANT to change? because if you do it will take effort on your part - your doctor cant do it for you, pills cant do it for you............only YOU can do it for yourself. but, be kind to yourself and make changes gradually, join AA even if you don't think you are addicted as such to alcohol. find an evening class or day classes in something you like to do or want to learn. ask your GP (or better still the local library) if there are any 'Support Groups' for depression or mental health issues in your area....... and GO to them!
make yourself get out of the house for a walk once a day - take notice of the beauty around you! stop watching depressing things on tv! buy or borrow some comedy DVDs and watch them. laughter is a great medicine its true!
and you are not alone - a great many people have been through something similar and come out the other side!
I am rooting for you! keep posting please?

bagpussbear

Drinking a lot of alcohol and taking anti-depressants is a no no. I'm not surprised you feel unhealthy. Your Seratonin levels will be all over the place, so give up the booze and give the medication a chance to start working properly and go forward from there.

missnww

Well the thing is my life is not bad at all its really good and I have everything going for me. Thats why I have no idea why I do this to myself. Im the one making myself like this by doing what I do. Its like I just get addicted to the merry-go-round .. drinking too much and suffering awful hangovers that I feel so bad I need to drink again just to feel normal. Binging on sugar to the point where I feel so disgusted that I throw it up .. only to eat more like 20 min later. There is always at least one person who isnt speaking to me because I got drunk and done something to push them away. And the only men I ever seem to like are the ones who treat me really bad and I end up wanting them even more.


Im 31, I live on my own. I work and have plans to start a new career. I really do need to change my behavior, I know this yet I always fall back into the same patterns. I can even last a month sometimes doing well but then ... it starts again. I woke up on monday night on the kitchen floor after a session on the vodka, next to the hoover with the hose part around me. That was a low point to say the least. This time I am feeling positive that i will make every effort I can to change this. I will ask about support groups in the area tomarrow.


Thanks for your nice replys and suggestions

purpleshoes_2

missnww wrote: »

Well the thing is my life is not bad at all its really good and I have everything going for me. Thats why I have no idea why I do this to myself. Im the one making myself like this by doing what I do. Its like I just get addicted to the merry-go-round .. drinking too much and suffering awful hangovers that I feel so bad I need to drink again just to feel normal. Binging on sugar to the point where I feel so disgusted that I throw it up .. only to eat more like 20 min later. There is always at least one person who isnt speaking to me because I got drunk and done something to push them away. And the only men I ever seem to like are the ones who treat me really bad and I end up wanting them even more.


Im 31, I live on my own. I work and have plans to start a new career. I really do need to change my behavior, I know this yet I always fall back into the same patterns. I can even last a month sometimes doing well but then ... it starts again. I woke up on monday night on the kitchen floor after a session on the vodka, next to the hoover with the hose part around me. That was a low point to say the least. This time I am feeling positive that i will make every effort I can to change this. I will ask about support groups in the area tomarrow.


Thanks for your nice replys and suggestions

I think alcohol is the thing that you need to prioritise first, not saying that your eating issues are secondary, but perhaps if you deal with the alcohol issue, the low feelings about yourself might pick up and you might cope better with tackling the eating stuff.

Theres an alcohol support thread on the forums, you might get some support there also

meritaten

missnww wrote: »

Well the thing is my life is not bad at all its really good and I have everything going for me. Thats why I have no idea why I do this to myself. Im the one making myself like this by doing what I do. Its like I just get addicted to the merry-go-round .. drinking too much and suffering awful hangovers that I feel so bad I need to drink again just to feel normal. Binging on sugar to the point where I feel so disgusted that I throw it up .. only to eat more like 20 min later. There is always at least one person who isnt speaking to me because I got drunk and done something to push them away. And the only men I ever seem to like are the ones who treat me really bad and I end up wanting them even more.


Im 31, I live on my own. I work and have plans to start a new career. I really do need to change my behavior, I know this yet I always fall back into the same patterns. I can even last a month sometimes doing well but then ... it starts again. I woke up on monday night on the kitchen floor after a session on the vodka, next to the hoover with the hose part around me. That was a low point to say the least. This time I am feeling positive that i will make every effort I can to change this. I will ask about support groups in the area tomarrow.


Thanks for your nice replys and suggestions

so is it loneliness or boredom or low self-esteem that causes you to try to prop yourself up with vodka and cake? or all three?

PlymouthMaid

Thanks for telling us more. I would prioritise the drinking then as it seems to the root cause of most problems. If you do not want to go as far as becoming teetotal, could you stop having alcohol in the house so that you do not drink alone? Could you rope in a friend or two and tell them your going on a health kick and so want to cut down on booze when out?

BigAunty

Find yourself a good therapist or counsellor, try different styles of counselling to see what is the best fit for you.

A good counsellor will be able to give you skills to gain insight into the patterns of behaviour you have and the reasons for it (not telling you but prompting you to think for yourself). Then you might have a lightbulb moment about the causes of your issue and how to address them.

I know you made a promise with yourself to change after your new low but you are trapped in a cycle and need a bit more than just a bit of willpower during a lucid moment.