Stress!!!

pukkamum

We are currently going through the mortgage application process and to say I am stressed about it is an understatement.
I appear to be having a physical reaction to the stress of it all and can't seem to get myslef out of it.
i am getting breathless, i have stomach cramps, the runs, constant headaches and a feeling of almost weird detachment.
I have always avoided pressure in my life, never had a pressurised job, kept my life as simple and easy going as possible so I am finding all this quite frightening.
Am I being ridiculous, is there a way to snap myself out of it?
I haven't slept properly for 2 weeks which I don't think is helping.
Pukkadad just keeps telling me to calm down but thats easier said than done.
Has anyone any self help tips to get me through this?

jackieblack

Deep breathing, yoga/pilates, a nice long soak in a bubble bath (glass of wine optional ), nice scented candles, or depending on where you live taking an evening stroll could be relaxing

Georgiegirl256

pukkamum wrote: »

.
I appear to be having a physical reaction to the stress of it all and can't seem to get myslef out of it.
i am getting breathless, i have stomach cramps, the runs, constant headaches and a feeling of almost weird detachment.
?

That definitely sounds like a reaction to stress, a bit panic attack like almost. Your body goes into fight or flight mode. Stress totally affects me in the same way.

Try and put aside some time just for you to do something that relaxes you if that's possible. For some people that's a nice bath with candles and oils, for others it's a run round the block. Just something that takes your mind off things for even a few minutes will be beneficial.

When I get like that I always have trouble sleeping, and if I have trouble sleeping, it makes things ten times worse, as when I'm tired I get grouchy and emotional. So a good nights sleep is probably one of the biggest favours you can do yourself if at all possible (I know you're having trouble sleeping, and you're right, it won't be helping) I find either a brisk walk along the coast usually helps knock me out, either that or a lavender spray. I find the scent of lavender relaxing.

rl926

You are not alone, a lot of people find this process very stressful. Try looking up some self help anxiety methods to help you through. Just remember it won't last forever

sassyblue

Good suggestions to unwind, also think what's the worst thing that could happen? It gets refused...... then try again with someone else. It's no big deal - certainly not worth making yourself ill over.

Lots of deep breaths and breathing out slowly too. Hope it all goes well x

pukkamum

Thank you all, I decided to make my favourite comfort food dinner of cauliflower and broccoli cheese with mash, only for the first time ever my cheese sauce split and it looked disgusting.
I served it up and heard my eldest son whisper to the girls, I know it looks like sick but just eat it, mum's really stressed, bless him, that just made me feel worse!
I think it's worse this week because pukkadad is on lates so i have no-one to talk me down, although i suspect his patience is wearing thin as is my own, really annoying myself now!

Sassyblue you are so right but after struggling with debt many many years ago, i have a massive dread of all things credit related and add to that the weird, never talk about money thing, that my mum and nan instilled in me when young, its uber frightening .

Just our preliminary chat with our broker a few weeks ago had me almost rendered incapable, my mouth dried up and my eye started twitching, bet he thought I was a right nutter!
I intend to blast a few zombies on left for dead 2 once the kids are in bed, hopefully that should relieve some pressure!

MancBrel

Stress does manifest itself in this way. Many people think that they have a physical condition, but it's all from the mind. Try to remember that people have been buying houses and applying for mortgages for years and years. You've applied now, and the outcome is out of your hands. No matter how much you think about it, you have no influence over matters now.

In the grand scheme of things, if it does all go belly up, you still have pukkadad and that simple life you've always tried to have. That can't be bad?

dancingfairy

I would go to the docs and check that it's nothing serious (you don't really want people on the internet diagnosing you).
If it is stress and anxiety then anything you can think of to destress:
1) Bachs rescue remedy is really good
2) a massage?
3) read a good book
4) watch tv/a trashy film
5) a bubble bath
6) exercise - this is really good for getting rid of stress hormones and replaces them with endorphons (feel -good happy hormones )
7) deep breathing
8) anything like pilates/yoga
9) stroking an animal
10) something creative - baking/sewing/crafting etc.
11) spending time outdoors
12) spending time with people you love
13) eating either comfort food or probably better healthy food with vitamins/minerals (it's easy to pick up bugs when you are feeling low).
14) putting on your favourite music and dancing round the house like a loon
15) doing a favourite hobby (particularly if it involves exercise).
16) spending time with a good friend.

You may not be able to make the stress go away but maybe it's about managing it as best you can for now and accepting it is only for a short period?
Anyway I hope you find something on the above list that works for you.
df
Edit: if it gets out of hand you may need to consider some anti anxiety medication for a short while (just to get you through this stressful period).

sassyblue

pukkamum wrote: »

Sassyblue you are so right but after struggling with debt many many years ago, i have a massive dread of all things credit related and add to that the weird, never talk about money thing, that my mum and nan instilled in me when young, its uber frightening .

Just our preliminary chat with our broker a few weeks ago had me almost rendered incapable, my mouth dried up and my eye started twitching, bet he thought I was a right nutter!
I intend to blast a few zombies on left for dead 2 once the kids are in bed, hopefully that should relieve some pressure!

Well you've come so far pukkamum good for you. You can even apply online for a mortgage, that's how l did ours this time so no need for worrying meetings. (Unless your previous debts meant you had to have a meeting).

onlyroz

Buying a house is certainly in the top five of the most stressful things you can go through (along with getting married or divorced, the death of a close relative, or redundancy, I'd say). I'd suggest delegating as much as possible to your broker and solicitor. Oh and definitely assume that everything any estate agent says to you is an outright lie.

rachiibell

Your son sounds lovely bless him!

Be kind to yourself. Sounds a bit silly but when things get on top of me and I get stressed out I try and look after myself like I would a friend if they told me they were feeling stressed. So I'll take a few deep breaths, put on some relaxing/ meditation music, have a bath if I have the time, tell myself to try again tomorrow and get a good nights sleep.

Reading that back I just sound a bit crazy!