do teenagers today take things for granted

Deals_2

compared to our generation? maybe the world has changed and it is a generation gap thing. i started moaning a bit to a friend about the reaction of my partner's teenagers from other relationship and she said teenagers today take everything for granted. i wonder what are people's thoughts on the matter.
when they come round they NEVER say " can we give you a hand" for example with the food or help clear up? i am worried the eldest at times is only hanging around because she wants a car and she will disappear again when she gets what she wants too.
i would be interested in people's thoughts on the matter. i have said whether or not i am related it is normal when you are in someone's house to offer at least to help.

msmiller

our generation?

Kimitatsu

I dont think it is a generation thing! I think that every teenager is the same and if you asked parents the world over from the last 50 years they would say the same!!

I know that it took me a while all those years ago to learn that I took things for granted!!!!

isualive

I'm really lucky as mine are quite good. I can remember being a teenager and i'm the first to admit that at times i was quite catankerous( probably spelt really wrong) and unhelpful at times. One thing i'm sure off i always respected my parents and my children also respect me.

snowmaid

Teenagers or children in general will be as unhelpful, ungrateful etc as they are allowed to be.

Unfortunately in today's PC society, the teenagers of today are more unruly, materialistic and ungrateful than they have ever been.

They are not given the chance to be responsible, to compete in a healthy competitive environment e.g. sports days etc, are taught that authority is a dirty word and that they are generally invincible.

I think the moment parents are allowed to effectively discipline their children, teenagers put back in the learning seat and not controlling seat and attitudes of the childless PC brigade change, only then will we be doing our children justice in preparing them for adulthood.

My children KNOW that they WILL help around the house, that the WILL be responsible and that they are there to learn and prepare for adulthood.

I think your husband needs to take control and insist that your house is not a hotel, that when the kids are around they will do their fair share.

Good luck!

Alikay

I think its a natural part of growing up for teenagers to be self-centred, however they shouldn't get away with being selfish, rude and lazy! I don't think their minds quite grasp the idea of "is there anything I can do to help?" so I enlighten mine!

At 16 or 17 I was more concerned about doing my make-up for a night out, than whether mum wanted a hand with the spuds...didn't mean I got away with doing nowt though, and neither do my kids! If you wait for a teenager to offer assistance, you'll be waiting a long time - so ask them! If they refuse, there are ways and means - witholding pocket money, lifts in the car, refusing to cook or wash their clothes etc.

snowmaid

Alikay wrote: »

I think its a natural part of growing up for teenagers to be self-centred, however they shouldn't get away with being selfish, rude and lazy! I don't think their minds quite grasp the idea of "is there anything I can do to help?" so I enlighten mine!

At 16 or 17 I was more concerned about doing my make-up for a night out, than whether mum wanted a hand with the spuds...didn't mean I got away with doing nowt though, and neither do my kids! If you wait for a teenager to offer assistance, you'll be waiting a long time - so ask them! If they refuse, there are ways and means - witholding pocket money, lifts in the car, refusing to cook or wash their clothes etc.

Excellent attitude! :T

January20

Deals wrote: »

compared to our generation? maybe the world has changed and it is a generation gap thing. i started moaning a bit to a friend about the reaction of my partner's teenagers from other relationship and she said teenagers today take everything for granted. i wonder what are people's thoughts on the matter.
when they come round they NEVER say " can we give you a hand" for example with the food or help clear up? i am worried the eldest at times is only hanging around because she wants a car and she will disappear again when she gets what she wants too.
i would be interested in people's thoughts on the matter. i have said whether or not i am related it is normal when you are in someone's house to offer at least to help.

You have to ask.

My DD is a really good girl, but she won't do anything unless I ask her. Otherwise she'll be happy to just lounge around in front of the tv. She has said it herself in the past "you didn't ask me" and she was right. Teenagers are many things but they are not mind readers

newcook

I think some of it comes down to the parents and their attitude

When I was a teenager I would never dream of cheeking or disrespecting an adult and I have my mom to thank for that as from an early age it was drilled into me to be polite and courteous (sp) and when I went to a friends house for tea to always thank the parents for a lovely meal and for inviting me.

The attitude of some kids today is disgraceful and their parents should be ashamed of themselves for allowing their kids to be the way they are.
I went to my local shop the other day and a teenager asked me to buy some alcohol for him - when I said no I got called a f!*£%^g b£"&h!

obviously I am not saying all teenagers are like this - some of the teenagers and their friends in my family and OH's family are polite, help clear up if invited for dinner etc.

kate1956

I have to say that most of the time my teenagers are lovely - my 17yr old son is really thoughtful and helpful and has been taking my youngest to school and picking her up to help out this week. Although I do agree with above that teenagers need to be asked - I think seeing that jobs need to be done comes with age and experience and teenagers are not necessarily not helping just that they don't always see that something is needed.

January20

I also think that parents' rights over their children's upbringing -especially when they become teenagers- is being eroded, and the kids know that.

I was reading Ginger's thread about underage teenage drinking and was aghast to find that a parent grounding their 15 yo teenager (in this case I think locking the door to stop them from going out to get drunk) is committing a crime of unlawful imprisonnement. How stupid is that?

There is also that awful grey area between the ages of 16-18, where frankly if they don't want to accept parental discipline, there is nothing parents can do. In some European countries like France and Spain, children are under their parents't control until they are 18 and formally become adults.