eeeeek Twins

rpc

Congrats

Twin dad here (plus their older brother).

Consider taking some parental leave to extend your paternity. I took a total of 6 weeks off when our two arrived.

Hook up with your local TAMBA group - they aren't just there for after the birth. The support my wife got (and still gets) from our twins club and the Bumps Babies and Toddlers groups in particular was invaluable. They also run multiple-specific antenatal classes.

We found TAMBA as the national organisation to be disappointing. The local group is totally awesome though.

Twins are great and there are also tough. You need to learn about some potential problems (forewarned is forearmed). Incidence of PND is far far higher in parents of multiples. Don't understanding the financial stress of two (the divorce rate among parents of multiples is also higher!). Bear in mind you have a 50:50 chance of one twin being in NICU - most hospitals will let you visit in advance just so you are familiar.

Accept that nobody who hasn't had multiples will understand. What works with singletons doesn't work nearly so well with twins. Even worse than when you have a singleton, you will get lots of advice and most of it is cr:mad:p.

Remember that "Buy one get one free" "Two for the price of one" etc do not count as provocation in the eyes of the law and flattening the fiftieth person who says it on one shopping trip doesn't count as justifiable. I think the law needs to be changed here...

Childcare is f:mad:ing expensive. Plan ahead. Our nursery get £1500 a month off us for three - childcare vouchers (which you should get if you can) and the childcare element of tax credits (which you won't get) help.

Tamba are fab - both me and my OH are twins (both identical), so having our own kids will likely result in a multiple of some sort, and I had a look on the site not too long ago.

ID twins aren't heriditary and the statistical probability is pretty flat across everything. Frat twins can be hereditary on the maternal line (I have a friend who's has one side of the family tree all twins).

freebiequennie

As a maternity night nanny my tips for twins don't buy Moses baskets buy one cot n initially have them next to each other n then one either end of cot both with bottom n only get a second cot when go into own room they should fit in one cot min of 6mths even if 38wks n if earlier even longer.

Get someone to show u n wife how to dual feed whether breast or bottle both can be fed in tandem n saves he'll of alot of time especially in early days when feed for an hr every 2-3hrs. (They get quicker).

If u buy a pram they can nap in carrycot in the day.

Consider reusuable nappies although have some disposable for first couple weeks while you find your feet.

In the 6wks before due date cook up meals for freezer buy disposable take away trays to save on washing up as well - means u eat decent meals with little effort.

The dualpod for the bath is essential once sitting (around 6mths) for one adult to bath on their own.

In terms of what you are entitled to homestart are a charity n can come in and support hv can tell you more n refer - it's not means tested or for those on low incomes one family I maternity nannied for had a lovely lady come once a wk n help out n chatted with mum.

Another thing local colleges have childcare students who need placement n home placement r difficult to arrange and sure they would love a call from you a family I night nannied for had a 17 yr old girl come in for many wks they can't be left alone with babies whilst u go out though.

Childcare vouchers you can start from day babies r born so ring up n sort them once they have arrived n can build s small stash while wife is on mat leave.

Congratulations n hope that helps

Morglin

hoddo wrote: »

Hello,

I'm a long time reader of the main website but never posted in the forums.

Mrs Hoddo and I are expecting, twins are due January 3rd. Exciting and scary in an equal dose.

I am looking to gain advice as to what money saving and financial planning we can do at this stage in our pregnancy and the early years of little Hoddo's lives.

Tax free incentive schemes, child care support, vouchers etc. I am clueless and do not know where to go. I don't want miss out on anything which will make our money work harder for us or perhaps any government backed scheme available to us.

Our finances are in good order and we are both higher rate tax payers. Anything else you need to know?

Many thanks for your help.

Congrats...:beer:

Lin

freebiequennie

Rpc you made me laugh - remember going shopping with a twin mum n she said it's a hell I cannot go anywhere takes ages we went to a major shopping centre I pushed pram n every time someone stopped n said ohhh are they twins I said nope triplets we have left the third in the car n just carried on walking.

I did teach the mum to smile ignore n move on as otherwise u didnt get anywhere as they get older the interest from general public is less.

aeb_2

freebiequennie wrote: »

Rpc you made me laugh - remember going shopping with a twin mum n she said it's a hell I cannot go anywhere takes ages we went to a major shopping centre I pushed pram n every time someone stopped n said ohhh are they twins I said nope triplets we have left the third in the car n just carried on walking.

I did teach the mum to smile ignore n move on as otherwise u didnt get anywhere as they get older the interest from general public is less.

So true, I have never taken my triplets to a shopping centre, mind you I wasn't one to go more than once a year before they were born.

freebiequennie Your tips are just right. My DH passed away before mine were born so I became a single parent to 6 under 6 when they were born and used the services of a night nannie who I still see from time to time - wonderful woman.

I was determined not to need to go back to work. In fact, I didn't have a job to go back to as we had relocated and I as looking for a teaching job to begin in the September but had three babies instead! I filled the whole freezer with 'ready meals'. I think that was the biggest life saver in the early months. Also one cot for I think about the first 4 months. I didn't leave the house except for school [STRIKE]run [/STRIKE]walk until January but was never slow to ring and ask for help. Bearing in mind I had lived here less than a year everyone was tremendously supportive.

I used old fashioned cloth nappies in the machine every night no matter how tired I was and on the line first thing whatever the weather (I have a covered area available) Saved a small fortune and I still have the same washer, no tumble dryer.

For sanities sake I had (still have) a bag packed by the front door with all the essentials needed for a trip out. When I just had my DS1 it would take me and my DH about 3/4 hour to get out of the house. With my bag packed, if needs be, all 7 of us can be out of the house in 10 mins.

Congratulations BTW, relax and enjoy. My SIL had twins and still hasn't got over it - they are 32 at Christmas!

Person_one

DomRavioli wrote: »

Tamba are fab - both me and my OH are twins (both identical), so having our own kids will likely result in a multiple of some sort, and I had a look on the site not too long ago.

Actually, I think its fraternal twins that run in families, not identical, so if two identicals were to have identical twins you'd be beating the odds! It'd be a great photo op though...

freebiequennie

AEB sorry to hear about your husband passing away before babies were born.

What an amazing woman you must be to have carried on with 6 under 6 whilst grieving although I know being a mum you do just have to get on with it but can imagine some days were very difficult.

meritaten

hi - cant help with financial matters - but can I just congratulate you on having Twins? my son has identical twins and my sis has non-identical twins. OH has identical twin nephews - both sides of the family are riddled with them. and I find twins almost magical - and so do other people - expect to be followed about, closely questioned (the most common one being 'are they twins'? until you feel like printing out an FAQ and handing it out!).
they say twins are double trouble - but to me they are double the joy. its fascinating to watch them grow and develop their own personalities. you have all this to come and I am sure you will enjoy it.
they also have a closeness most siblings don't have - but they will still fight and squabble - yet will act 'as one' if one of them is threatened. Twins are special - and btw, they KNOW it!

meritaten

just to echo what another poster said - don't buy separate moses baskets etc - identicals especially will want to be together. so a cot is a good idea from the very start. they can share most items, so don't duplicate EVERYTHING. except car seats.
be prepared for them to take 'turns' being awake/feeding, but they will both bawl together!

DigForVictory

Very Best of British Luck.
TAMBA groups vary, but always worth a try.

Be very clear with family that what you all need is SLEEP. Phone calls to be between 20:00 & 21:00, emails anytime & (incoming) texts nein danke. Also no visitors with any sniffles, let alone measles etc. A coldy baby struggles to suckle - never good.

May be worth doing social media to broadcast photos & save phone calls. (And propagate lies/family PR...)

If you can get a chest freezer & fill it with healthy, nutritious, no-guilt-involved, heat & eat meals - brilliant. Do not expect to eat a hot meal at the same time as Herself for a few years. Nowt personal, just young family.

Any trip out will take planning on a near military level. Including medics. Soften up your local practice with strategic tins of chocolate?

Get your laden lady to the dentist - no matter what might be useful as opposed to essential, she gets a one year free pass - Use It! (I had a tooth out when first child but 6 weeks old - gift of 5 hours undisturbed kip utterly heavensent.)

Check your car - is it up to at least 2 years more or less without needing more than petrol & short services? Boot space you can bury a body in? Isofix mounts galore? May be worth changing for future peace of mind.

Does your employer know & are they familiar with any other parents of twins? Have they managed new parents before? You have a learning curve with extra hugs & kisses - they don't get those perks. Any flexibility in working pattern likely worth its weight in pension - you may work odd hours (03:00-06:00 for example) but if it means you're there for bonkers o'clock (usually 18:00-20:00 ish but your offspring may vary & indeed even run separate shifts) your wife is more likely to remain married to you.

In case noone's mentioned it, milestones are not manadatory but indictaive & TAMBA can reassure you much more robustly than any singleton parent can!

Stockpile food & nappies before the weather sets in.

May your wife deliver in relative calm & absolute health.
Safe travels & enjoy the ride!