When does it stop?

butterflylady131

I had to have my beautiful ginger boy put to sleep on Thursday last week, and I can't stop thinking about him or crying. I miss him so much.
He was 18, and my husband had had him since he was 6 months old, rescuing him and his sister (who we still have) from a neglected multi cat household. He was my cat for the last 10 years though, my little ginger shadow, following me around everywhere, very affectionate. Always sat on or near me, slept in between us. Followed me when I left the room.
He had hyperthyroidism and was on Vidalta, and two types of tablets for his heart, but he went downhill so fast. He couldn't walk and when I took him to the vets, they said he had anaemia brought on by the Vidalta and there was nothing they could do.

I held him and spoke to him and stroked him while they did it.

I miss him so much though. I see and hear and feel him all the time. When does this get better?

Flick216

butterflylady131 wrote: »

I had to have my beautiful ginger boy put to sleep on Thursday last week, and I can't stop thinking about him or crying. I miss him so much.
He was 18, and my husband had had him since he was 6 months old, rescuing him and his sister (who we still have) from a neglected multi cat household. He was my cat for the last 10 years though, my little ginger shadow, following me around everywhere, very affectionate. Always sat on or near me, slept in between us. Followed me when I left the room.
He had hyperthyroidism and was on Vidalta, and two types of tablets for his heart, but he went downhill so fast. He couldn't walk and when I took him to the vets, they said he had anaemia brought on by the Vidalta and there was nothing they could do.

I held him and spoke to him and stroked him while they did it.

I miss him so much though. I see and hear and feel him all the time. When does this get better?

It's only a week ago - it's still very raw for you. I feel for you so badly, it must have been awful but at least you did the right thing to stop him suffering.

I still miss a cat that died 16 years ago! And my phone wallpaper is one who died 6 years ago. You never stop missing them but in time you will be able to think about them without the gut-wrenching heartbreak. When will that be? It's different for everyone. Embrace it for a few days. Give yourself the weekend to have a good cry and be self indulgent in your grief. Holding back will not do you any favours.

It does pass, I promise. *hugs*

purpleshoes_2

Took me 6 months to feel half ok again after my cat died of cancer really suddenly. He was 12, I still miss him.

jackieblack

I know exactly what you're going through, I was where you are 16 months ago.
I can't say when it got easier, it took a while, but it did get better, gradually.
I put together a photobook with all my favourite photos of my boy and looking at that helped me remember him as he had been in happier times. It makes me smile and laugh when I think about hime now I think about how lucky we were to have hime for so long (he was 19)
I still think I see him in the house sometimes, but he is buried in my garden and I go and talk to him whenever I go out to peg washing. He is in a nice sunny spot, where he often used to lie, and we planted a hebe next to him, as he sometimes used to sit under one in my front garden for shade.
It does take time, but it will get better.
:grouphug:

butterflylady131

Thank you. I feel so bad. We did everything for him. His tablets cost us £53 a month and he had special food from the vets, he poo'd all over my house as his toileting towards the end was very hit and miss, and he was going blind, but I miss the constancy of him. Knowing he was there, welcoming me home, loving me when I wondered if anyone else did.
I already have another two, and I have been lavishing love on them, but they aren't him.
It was like he sensed that I'd found my path, my direction in the world, and it was like his work was done.

I think people will feel bad of me if I say he was a cat, they will wonder what all the fuss was about, why am I so upset?

elsien

It doesn't really stop in that sense - it's nearly 2 years and another dog since mutt passed on, and there are times when I still miss her like crazy and have a little cry.
But it does get easier over time - you smile over their silly little ways, and the sadness fades a little. You'll always miss him because he was a huge part of your life, but it'll be missing him in a good way, if that makes sense?

Just give yourself time and find ways to make the house feel a bit less empty.

butterflylady131

Thank you. I have plans to put my favourite picture in a frame by my bed, as he slept with us.
I guess it will take more time than I thought. I thought I would be used to not seeing him around by now, but then I tell myself, we had him for a very long time, longer than I've had jobs and friends, IYKWIM?, so that I should have a little patience with myself and my grief.
Thank you all, just had a bad moment.

dandelionclock30

Hello, Im sorry to hear about your cat, take comfort in that 18 is a good age for a cat and he clearly thought a lot about you.
Its awful when you lose a cat, I felt ill for ages and kept looking for mine as she disappeared into thin air.
What helped me was getting another cat,I got one from a rescue and he is so loving and sweet. Maybe you could get another in time? or when your other one is no longer around as well.
Just to say it doesnt replace the one you have lost but its good to offer an unwanted animal a home and they repay you in their own way.

LutonGirl

So sad to hear your news. I lost my 13 year old kitty at Christmas, she'd been with me 10 years through thick and thin. The tears do dry up and I always remember how good it was to have her around, what a special character she was who bore her health problems really well and who was there for me during some really !!!! times.

Allow yourself time to grieve. You had a long and loving relationship.

Flick216

I had my Coco cremated and then put into a little wooded sleeping cat statue. I think about her every time I see it.

The cat that dies 16 years ago was buried in my old garden and I wish I'd had him cremated too. He was called Uncle Silver and I planted a rose called Silver Wedding over him. I often wonder how that rose is doing. I know the people that moved into my old house were keen gardeners so I like to think he is taken care of.

WeAreGhosts

i'm sorry for your loss.
i still miss the cat i lost 13 years ago. we had her from being 6 months til she was PTS at 14.
i found that sorting through any pictures of the cat and putting them in an album really helped. i didnt have many but it was therapeutic.