Horrible bosses - how to deal with them?

olibrofiz

So, as title really. DD has one, and after the latest incident, am feeling a little lame with the usual advice 'be polite'...'apologise'...'keep your head down and get on with it' because the boss just seems plain nasty, continuously! I wouldn't take the crap, but when you're 19, hard to know what to do.


DD's always on time, works over her contracted hours without pay, covers for people, goes in if they're short staffed and call her in. The boss tells her she's rubbish, too slow, a chav, a liability etc (but to be fair the boss rants to most of the staff)


I've suggested DD ask for a transfer, but the boss has to approve it, and DD's not hopeful she will. Sigh.

elsien

Realistically it depends how badly she wants to keep the job - I'm guessing she's not got 2 years service in yet?


Grievance procedure or bullying/harassment would be the way to go if there's someone above the boss to take it to - I'm assuming it's not a smaller company where the boss is the head honcho.


Or start looking elsewhere - life really is too short. And I'd not be doing the unpaid overtime at all, or the short notice going in (unless it's part of the contract). If they asked why I'd be explaining that it's a two way street and if they want my goodwill they need to earn it by showing a modicum of politeness. But then again I've not been 19 for a while now!


Tell her to put the transfer request in anyway - what's she got to lose?

AnnieO1234

The only way to deal with people like that, no matter whether they're a superior or not, is to talk straight back to them on an equal footing. Call them out on it and see if it actually earns their respect.

Xx

go_cat

what he is doing is bullying and intimidating and not allowed in employment law.

She needs to report him to the HR dept presuming the company have one and also log any incidents involving him

Alternatively she could leave but he would then be free to do the same to the next person.

GoldenShadow

In my sector people have been told things like transfers need approving but managers can't stop it, not without an incredibly valid reason and usually the very most they can do is delay it.

Your DD needs to treat others as she wishes to be treated, but equally, sounds as though she is being dumped on. So why is she doing unpaid overtime and going in when others ring in sick? If its stressful she shouldn't be going over the odds for them, I wouldn't.

ETA: On the off chance your daughter works in retail feel free to drop me a PM. I've worked P/T in retail for three years and my OH is a store manager, there are usually ways to deal with this that the 'minions' are often not aware of (prizes for guessing why).

olibrofiz

DD likes her co-workers, work is near home, and when the boss isn't in everything is fine. Boss is just horrible, staff turn-over is high, you'd think higher levels would notice wouldn't you.


At 19 DD won't go down the reporting route, too young really to want to face the fall out. I'll encourage her more to look around, and put in for that transfer! Yes, life is too short. I thought maybe DD could go and see the manager of another of the stores and ask if there were any vacancies there she could transfer in to?


The unpaid overtime she has no choice in, she isn't allowed to cash up until her finishing time, & wait as others finish at same time, sigh.

bluenoseam

I'm going to go ahead and guess it's retail, but ultimately here's a shocker for you - this is the norm. Presumably she's not allowed to cash up until finish, but that'll be because the shop's open right - can't exactly cash up a till before closing time!

With regards to dealing with bosses, that's one whereby it's simple - stand up for yourself, can't walk all over you if you're standing bolt upright! Again though the sad truth is that these days everyone is replacable, ultimately if boss gets rid (which he can do if under 2 years service) then you can be replaced tomorrow.

The good part, if she can prove that she's working beyond hours & is on minimum wage, she can report them to HMRC for failure to pay minimum wage. That can be done anonymously & is a mighty big headache for any organisation - several employers recently wound up being named & shamed in the press lately. Might also be an idea to check out USDAW, that's the shop & warehouse workers trade union, while they might not be recognised at her place of work, they'll create enough of a stink. Ultimately though there's one important lesson, she might not WANT to cause a fuss, but ultimately that's niave & inexperienced - if something needs doing it needs doing. This boss clearly needs reminded that there's no excuse for being a jerk, so get her told to do it.

Anatidaephobia

It depends on the circumstances. I quit a job once because my two bosses were completely unreasonable. It had been going on for months but culminated when they wouldn't let me have time off for a funeral (even though I had two others offering to swap shifts but they wouldn't authorise it because it would "mess with the rota"). Of course I should never have had to quit but at the time I couldn't see another way out.

If it happened in my current workplace, I know I could make a complaint - or even have a quiet word with someone - and it would be taken seriously. Is there somebody higher than her boss who would listen to her? Agree that she should put in for a transfer anyway, nothing to lose.

Carl31

Personally, I would stay to stand up for herself and challenge the manager on their actions. However, this is very likely to result in your daughter coming off worse, especially based on your high turnover comment.

But, your daughter is not in the wrong here, so if doing what is right results in her losing a job, then she's better off without it. A job shouldn't lead to such stress

KatieDee

olibrofiz wrote: »

So, as title really. DD has one, and after the latest incident, am feeling a little lame with the usual advice 'be polite'...'apologise'...'keep your head down and get on with it' because the boss just seems plain nasty, continuously! I wouldn't take the crap, but when you're 19, hard to know what to do.


DD's always on time, works over her contracted hours without pay, covers for people, goes in if they're short staffed and call her in. The boss tells her she's rubbish, too slow, a chav, a liability etc (but to be fair the boss rants to most of the staff)


I've suggested DD ask for a transfer, but the boss has to approve it, and DD's not hopeful she will. Sigh.

Do you know if she's doing anything in particular to make her boss unhappy? He definitely shouldn't be ranting at her or calling her names (as others have mentioned, this is bullying!) but there could be a reason why he always seems to be aiming his comments at her.

She could try and work out what triggers his comments and if she genuinely can't find anything (and can get proof that she is working as hard as she can) then I would probably look at putting a complaint in or speaking to somebody higher up. They cannot just end her employment without having a very good reason and if they do, I don't see why you would be unable to take the issue further.

What I'm saying is...managing a team of young people can be very difficult and at times, extremely frustrating. Although the methods he is allegedly using are wrong and incredibly insensitive, there may be a reason why he keeps getting this angry. That said, the longer his bad management skills go on without being questioned, the worse he will get, and your daughter should not have to feel nervous about going to work. She either needs to bring attention to it or I would advise moving on to another job, preferably out of retail (where ten a penny managers with power issues tend to reign, unfortunately!).

ska_lover

olibrofiz wrote: »

DD's always on time, works over her contracted hours without pay, covers for people, goes in if they're short staffed and call her in. The boss tells her she's rubbish, too slow, a chav, a liability etc (but to be fair the boss rants to most of the staff)


I've suggested DD ask for a transfer, but the boss has to approve it, and DD's not hopeful she will. Sigh.

Tell her to go to HR - and keep logs of incidents, name calling etc. If a manager has to stoop to name calling on their team, they should not be in that position