Working to pay for childcare

jetplane

trudiha wrote: »

Yes, it is indeed refreshing to see a mother put her value as an active economic unit above all of that child rearing nonsense.

Maybe your maths is not great, she worked 2 days. Is attending nursery not a good thing, part of rearing a child, offering them a broader experience? Surely having a contented mother is good for a child?

FBaby

I think ultimately it comes down to how much a mum enjoys being at home full-time or not. Some women hate work and love being at home with their children, others find full-time childcare demoralising and like to be able to do something for themselves.

mr_knight

I am the main breadwinner (Mrs Knight). My husband was looking after our LO but she went to nursery for one morning from 9 months. Good for both of them.

OH has some health problems and found looking after a super active toddler difficult. She now goes to school daily but part time and he works part time to pay for this (I get Childcare vouchers too and the money goes in one pot really but by him working we can afford this). We are also able to pay for our ironing to be done which means when our LO is home we can spend more quality time with her. She loves nursery and cried last week when we kept her off after an accident.

I think she gets more out of this arrangement than if she was at home full time. She is a very happy little girl.

clearingout

Not all women are able to return to their original jobs on a part-time basis. Plenty of jobs are just not suitable for job share and where they are suitable, are dependent really on management with empathy to make it happen. My own experience of working part-time was that I did the full -time job in less hours and for less pay and you very quickly get fed up with that.

The other issue is just how much childcare costs - I have lived in the South East and some 8 years ago had to pay over £50 a day for a nursery place, some £45 a day for a childminder. With higher mortgage costs in the South East, the need to maintain a second car if working, more than one child in nursery, an average to low salary etc. etc. it can easily mean you are paying to work and not the other way around. This is why many women take time out - it is certainly why I did.

The downside, of course, is that you are particularly vulnerable if your husband walks out or becomes ill or dies (unless good insurance is in place and I have yet to find insurance that covers against your husband getting it on with his secretary ) but I guess many couples feel they don't have a choice.

It's not always about people not wanting to be bothered or not caring or being lazy or relying on benefits...sometimes, for some people, the figures simply don't add up.

Counting_Pennies_2

Yes it is great she is doing this, that it works for her, and her family.


This does not necessarily need to be the only choice for all families.


After number 2 came along, we took the decision I would be a full-time stay at home mother. My husband earns the money, we take nothing from the state, child benefit is paid back under the tax rules. Yet parents at school are regularly heard talking about stay at home mothers as scroungers. They scrounge off their husband etc. This is something I find very distasteful. At no point are we harming the government, obtaining any benefits.


While working is a good arrangement for many people, I would like to think the traditional mum at home with kids and dad earning to also be a good thing. Each to their own. But each arrangement needs to be recognised for their merits and harmoniously agreed it is beneficial to the country.

mrcow

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Yet parents at school are regularly heard talking about stay at home mothers as scroungers. They scrounge off their husband etc.

That doesn't make sense though. Anyone who has the time to stand around in a school playground gossiping about other people's situations surely can't be that busy working themselves? Perhaps they need to look a little bit closer to home before they criticise?

jackyann

My take:
Most parents do the best they can for their families as a whole.

Caring for children at home can be one of the most fulfilling & interesting times in one's life, let us support parents who wish to do that.

Let us support good quality childcare as well.

Let us also have a good programme of public education about children's development, to enable all those who care for children, in whatever capacity, to have a better understanding.

Last of all, let us not criticise the decisions that well meaning parents make, but do our best, as individuals, and as a society, to support them.

NoAngel

I also find it refreshing. I respect Mums who wish to and are able to stay at home but it wouldn't be for me. I am going back to work 2 days per week and looking forward to progressing my career and keeping my knowledge in my field up to date. Waiting until my LO is in school before going back would mean that my skills and knowledge were out of date.

I suppose it depends on what job the mother did in the first place. Also, if you know you'll have to go back at some point anyway, it's probably easier to go straight back even if it doesn't make you much better off financially.

KatieDee

This is one of the things that concerns me about having a family in the future...I will no doubt have to make a decision for the first few years of my child's life, whether I want to return to my chosen career or whether to drop back to a part-time role. I would almost certainly choose the latter, as my preference would not doubt be to spend the time with my child and not pay for the privilege of having other people look after her/him.

I do think your opportunities in the work place do decrease once you've had a baby, as you're unable to cover the same hours as somebody with no responsibilities. Another hurdle in the way for many mothers who enjoy their jobs and wish to create a career for themselves.

As others have said, if you do manage to return to work full-time it must be a bit of a kick in the teeth knowing that you're working all those hours and paying out an enormous percentage of your wages to help care for your child, to facilitate your job, which you're doing to bring home money!

Ultimately, I have no opinion either way of what other parents choose to do, as I don't think any two situations are the same.

One thing I would request (if I was queen of the entire world) would be to make the term "full-time mother" as "current occupation" illegal to write on all social media websites.

It suggests, at least to me, that if you choose to work then you are somehow doing a part-time job of bringing your children up.

mincepiemonster

As long as she is truly happy with the arrangement then good for her. I'd find it very demoralising to effectively work for no pay. I wouldn't do it. They should be able to get tax credits which pay up to 70% of childcare costs, up to a family income of around £40,000 I think. It might be worth investigating.

I love being a stay-at-home mum although I appreciate it is not for everyone. Far from just changing nappies and watching Peppa Pig, I take my girls out to various classes and my 2.5 year old can count, recognise shapes and colours, recognise her name as well as ours and her sister's - she hasn't learnt that from thin air! We get child benefit but nothing else. It is sometimes lonely and (whisper it!) boring but what job isn't?

I wish parents truly had a choice about whether to return to work - so many people have to have two incomes which is sad of mum or dad would like to stay at home full time.

There is nothing noble in returning to work any more than tjere os on staying at home. At the end of the day we are all just trying to do the best for our kids.