Hi New Here and feel sick over money all the time

sillyspendy

I am sitting here in tears you all have no idea how lovely you have been
I am a Christian and so it's nice to see CAP used and it makes me feel less ashamed for someone who is meant to be honest lying so much to people

I will do a breakdown thing later as no laptop today but from the bottom of my heart

Thanks xxx

asparagus1968

hope you had a good weekend sillyspendy.
how are you getting on with the SOA?
A68

crunch_time

Hi Sillyspendy,


I understand how you feel. My husband and I are in good jobs and between us earn £60k a year (now but only in last 18months) but are £23k in debt and although I could tell you exactly what we spent it on and why it doesn't make me feel anything other than awful about it.


Coming on here is the first step. Following the advice step by step is the second. Don't beat yourself up (I wish I could practice what I preach), draw a line and make an action plan. We had an action plan from the beginning of this year and have already paid off £4k. Our trouble is we keep spending.


I bet you find some of your friends are in debt. Its all relative anyhow. We have some friends who earn a lot less than us but don't have any debt and lots of equity in their house and could move whenever they wanted to. We have the same things in life and lead similar lifestyles. They are debt free and have equity - 2 things husband and I covet most!! They know we earn more but don't know how much debt we are in and I would be embarrassed if they knew. My family has no idea how much debt my husband and I are in - again I would be embarrassed and feel they would judge my financial decisions if they knew. Its hard to find people to talk to about it. I've only joined here today but already have found it such a boost to be able to talk to others about it and share our challenges!!


We are in it together. Keep smiling!!
Crunchy xxx

In_Debt_Bet

Hi Sillyspendy

Speaking from experience I'd think very carefully before taking out a loan, it feels great a while, one simple maybe even reduced payment but then something unexpected crops up and you think oh well I'll just pop it on my credit card (because you just paid them off without closing the accounts) but somehow it doesn't get paid off only added to and before you know it you're back to square one. :eek:

Lots of luck

Bet x

walby1993

Hi Sillyspend,

I just wanted to say welcome. Looking forward to seeing your SOA as I am sure that lots of people here will be able to give you some advice.

My husband and I earn very similar amounts and are also in debt (currently around £7k but was at around £12k when I first dropped down to my current earnings). It might take time but it can be done. Never feel ashamed, a lot of people rack up debt but the important thing is that you want to tackle it and make a change.

Walby

daphnemoon

Well done for admitting the position you are in, it's the first step to fixing things.

When you know you have stopped the out of control spending and are managing to pay things off, however slowly, the sickness eases.

Well done for being brave and may your circumstances improve!!

sillyspendy

I have not done a SOA but a new post lists everything but here it is below

utility 220
ctax 100
rent 470
kelly 280
bcard 250
vodafone 46
tv liscence 12
internet 20
nut 18
aa 12
phone 20
water 22
Food 172
loan 290
Total 1760

c1 26
aqua 25
vanquis 90
very 96
bcard 20
orange 70
next 6
Total 333

Grand Total 2272

not allowing for petrol as that varies

ellesbellesxxx

Just seen NUT - as in union fees??? Have you contacted the tax office to get your NUT subscription fees taken off your tax allowance? You would be surprised how many people don't - one person at my school quote"I have so much money I don't need to bother" errr you would have more if you did this?!


Giffgaff are great for phone - 7.50 a month and you get unlimited texts, loads of minutes and data. Cuts down a heck of a lot - esp with 2 phones - you could drop this a LOT!
Any old phones you could recycle? mobilevaluer.com them and get some money back
Your utilities seem a lot, are you paying off arrears?
Moreover, GOOD LUCK!

Nargleblast

sillyspendy - some useful sources of advice. The Moneysaving Old Style forum (look down the forums list) is a good place full of friendly people who can show you ways to cut your costs and still have a good life.

As was suggested earlier, pay the minimum payments on all your debts except one. You can choose the one with the highest interest rate, or maybe the smallest amount outstanding. The one you choose, you throw the minimum payment plus every bit of spare cash you can at it, with the aim of paying it off asap. Once paid off, you pick another debt from your list and use the money you have just freed up to get that paid off. It's called snowballing, and is very motivating. As you pay off a debt, cut up the piece of plastic and close the account so you don't run up any more debt.

Visit Frugal Queen's website - she and her OH practised real frugality to pay off all their debts and are now attacking their mortgage. You might not want to go to some of the extreme measures they did, but there are plenty of useful hints that can help you save money.
Also pay a visit to Elaine at MortgageFreeinThree (known as MemoryGirl on here). These are real people who have been through the brown stuff and come out the other side.

You have just started your journey to debt freedom, good luck.

Nargleblast

Having read your first post again, you say you manage to pay the minimum amounts on the debts each month and you can "scrape by".
That's how it is now, but imagine....your OH loses his job. Or gets injured or falls ill, and can't work for months. Sick pay only lasts for so long then it's benefits city for you. Or your car or washing machine or central heating boiler dies. Where you are now, you are just managing, but it will only take one little piece of bad luck and you will be tipped over into serious financial trouble, maybe one or two steps away from losing your home.

That is why you have done the right thing in coming on here and asking for help now, before anything happens.