Hi New Here and feel sick over money all the time

sillyspendy

Hi Guys

I am 31, a wife and mother. My husband earns good money around 34k a year and I am on 17k a year.

BUT....we are 15k in debt. We meet our minimum payments each month and had considered a loan to pay it all off so all we had to pay each month was the loan.

The lack of money is not really my issue (although we do just scrape by) it is the guilt of the debt I have racked up with absolutely NOTHING to show for it.

I hope no one judges me.

I am here for money saving tips as would like to make more than the minimum payments each month to chip away on those debts.

Hi anyway x:mad:

asparagus1968

Welcome, you have come to the right place!:)


http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php


filling out an honest Statement of Affairs is often a good start.


Root out all your paperwork for all the debts to get the necessary info (APR's etc)


have a good old de-clutter of the house, sell everything no longer needed or used.


make a list of all foodstuff in fridge/ freezer and cupboards and make a meal plan using as much of it up as possible.


go through the SOA when finished and for each amount of incomings ask can it be increased, and every outgoing, can it be got rid of/ reduced in any way.


good luck,keep posting, look forward to seeing your journey

ShirePiskie

Hi Sillyspendy. Hopefully you'll get lots of good advice without the judgement. Deciding to take control is a great first step.

I'll suggest what many on here will also, posting a SOA (statement of affairs, I think it stands for) showing ALL your incoming and outgoings... there are links galore and hopefully someone someone will pop one up for you. Be prepared for it to be picked over, sometimes in quite a succinct way, but very well-meaning about where you can cut back.

I've seen other Debt Free Wannabes post their's and in theory sometimes have hundreds of pounds 'spare' each month and it's a real eye opener as to where it's 'vanishing' to each month.

Good luck.

d70cw6

only real advice is to earn more or spend less. Have a long hard look at your monthly outgoings and reducing them to their minimums (are you on the cheapest deals for utlities / phone / tv etc?) are a good starting point.

many people are in the same boat.

ShirePiskie

^^ As if by magic the SOA link appeared! ^^

sillyspendy

Thanks guys how lovely and refreshing to speak to you all All my friends are debt free in big lovely houses and brand new cars paid cash and so I have no one to speak to about stuff like this. xxx

Puddylove

Hi SS
You *think* your friends are all well off, but they may also have debts. It was only when I talked about debt first to a friend that she admitted to being £50k in debt.

Good luck with your budgets

runforlife

sillyspendy wrote: »

Thanks guys how lovely and refreshing to speak to you all All my friends are debt free in big lovely houses and brand new cars paid cash and so I have no one to speak to about stuff like this. xxx

Really? Have you asked them? Are they being honest? No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. How happy they are or how sad and fed up they are. Don't worry about them. It's you and your family that matter.

Firstly try not to feel guilty. I understand totally why you do but myself have come through that. There is a reason and yes, if we'd have handled that better at the time then I wouldn't be in the position I am now. However I am moving forward, not looking back. Dealing with it and feeling better each day.

All the best.

Kate_fixing_it

sillyspendy wrote: »

Thanks guys how lovely and refreshing to speak to you all All my friends are debt free in big lovely houses and brand new cars paid cash and so I have no one to speak to about stuff like this. xxx

I wouldn't bet on it Iwould, however, bet that they have no idea of your situation. You only know what they've told you or what you have assumed.

You have come to the right place. This forum has helped me immensely. I have a slightly smaller debt but similar household income. I'll bet there are loads of savings you can make to get this paid off and make your money go further.

Draw a line now. The money is gone and there's nothing you can do to change that but you can change where it goes in the future and how you think about it. There's absolutely nothing gained by beating yourself up over this, learn from it and paint a better future for yourself.

Kate x

dancingfairy

Sadly it's all too easy to spend money on nothing much
Think of those times when you nip in to the shop to buy bread and milk and buy half the shop (or is that just me :rotfl:? ).
I think most people don't realise a fiver here and a fiver there soon adds up (try Martins demotivator and you'll see what I mean: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/demotivator/).
Also when you consider interest and interest on interest it mounts up even faster.
df

moohound

No one here will judge you, I too would be very surprised if all your friends a debt free, I know people who earn twice what I do and are crippled with debt while maintaining an appearance of affluence.

High earners have to most access to credit and are in the position if living beyond their means to rack up massive debts.

I had very little to show for my hideous debts either. It is all too easily done, but you are dealing with it now, so you should be proud rather than ashamed.

I think about money and spending in a totally different way now.