Spliiting up and money

jd87

Perhaps take this lump sum that you want to give, and spread out payments over a long period? For example you could use it to pay for all of the child care until your child goes to school, and then if there's money left over after that you could pay whatever other costs.

Sounds to me like handing over a lump sum is a bad idea and the mortgage deposit idea might not work.

Is it going to be you who is ending the relationship? Handing over loads of cash might be seen (by her or by others) as an attempt by you to "pay her off" in some sense.

cakeforbrains

fresh_start wrote: »

How about a lump sum though? I feel she's entitled to something. She's contributed and helped towards my mortgage by paying rent, the house value has increased.

Surely i should give her something as well?

...and looked after your child so you can go to work.

I feel very uneasy about framing it as her paying 'rent' when you have a child together.

Still, good on you for wanting to make sure she is okay.

RAS

fresh_start wrote: »

How about a lump sum though? I feel she's entitled to something. She's contributed and helped towards my mortgage by paying rent, the house value has increased.

Surely i should give her something as well?

Any savings that she has over and above £6K could affect her entitlement to benefit support, anything over £16K removes it altogether.

Much better to offer to pay for/provide things like furniture and white goods if they are needed?

And do not go round telling her she has contributed to your mortgage (rather than paid half the household costs) as that could lead to her claiming a beneificial interest in the proeprty and it would get very difficult.

I looked at the Statement of Affairs for a mother and adult son living as cheaply as possible recently and half the (cheap) rent CT, utilities, water rates, comms etc etc was £375+.

pmlindyloo

fresh_start wrote: »

How about a lump sum though? I feel she's entitled to something. She's contributed and helped towards my mortgage by paying rent, the house value has increased.

Surely i should give her something as well?

You are perfectly at liberty to give her whatever you want to.

When people separate there are basically 3 ways to do it.

1. Agree between yourselves
2. Go to family mediation and ask for help to reach an agreement
3. Use a solicitor

(Also order of how expensive it could be!)

What does your girl friend expect financially from the break up?

If you decide to do 1 or 2 then it is worthwhile getting this drawn up into a legal agreement (solicitor will have to do this) as unfortunately these things can come back to 'bite you' and someone may 'advise' your girl friend that she may have a beneficial interest in your house.

Useful site (CAB)

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e/ending_a_relationship_when_you_re_living_together.htm

fresh_start

cakeforbrains wrote: »

...and looked after your child so you can go to work.

I feel very uneasy about framing it as her paying 'rent' when you have a child together.

Still, good on you for wanting to make sure she is okay.

We both work, herself 4 FULL days a week, the other times our child goes to childcare.

I feel uneasy calling it "rent" too..................

Caroline_a

Why can't she use the £30k as a deposit?

fresh_start

Caroline_a wrote: »

Why can't she use the £30k as a deposit?

I dont know if she still has the full 30K.........anyway, I would still want to give her something, my question is, what would be a reasonable amount to give her

FBaby

You can give her nothing of the value of the house, or up to 50% of the increase in equity value since she moved in with you. Nothing if you consider she was just paying rent, 50% if you consider she was contributing towards the mortgage.