Money money money

springdreams

I'd have a chat with the CAB if I were you..

I don't see why you can't charge him rent - after all there will be wear and tear on the property through both of your use of it, which will require the property to be maintained more frequently. Also, if he stayed elsewhere he'd have to pay rent to do so.

Lodgers and tenants don't aquire a beneficial interest in a property that they pay rent for.

Mojisola

springdreams wrote: »

Lodgers and tenants don't aquire a beneficial interest in a property that they pay rent for.

But partners do.

Counting_Pennies_2

When my now DH and I moved in together we had a Living Together agreement drawn up by our solicitor.


It outlined everything we each brought to the relationship (which were signed in agreement to be separate) and the percentage we were paying towards items going forward.


Due to earnings split we did a 70 / 30% split on all bills to be paid, and put in an equal amount into a pot for the food.


It also stated furniture purchased, etc.


We then stated if married and having children everything would then be split 50/50%

Jenniefour

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Bear in mind that as many relationships become ruined by being financially incompatible as by infidelity.

So true. This is one of the biggest causes of relationships/marriages ending. Your different priorities about how to use money are behavioural cues to underlying different beliefs about money, what it's for etc. That is a very different scenario from a couple where might be a disparity in individual wealth/assets but a lot of agreement and similarities on how they choose to use money, financial goals etc.

Make sure you can accept without resentment how he chooses to deal with money. And that there are not going to be unacceptable costs (of any kind) to you. This means you do need to talk about your expectations of each other, with particular attention to money.

It might be helpful for you to take some legal advice just to make sure you are crystal clear about how to protect your interests.

You are starting off poles apart on finance. That does not mean this relationship can't or won't work. That depends on how honestly the two of you discuss your future expectations of each other, and how invested you both are in respecting agreements reached in that process - and renegotiating if something isn't working.

All the best.

harrys_dad

OP, try reading some threads on the debt free wannabee board about people with "spendaholic" partners, that should put you off. Seriously though, make sure you keep financially separate at all times.

Snakey

I moved in with someone who was financially irresponsible. Champagne tastes and beer money, as they say, and his spending was limited only by what he was able to beg or borrow with never a thought of tomorrow. And he would have dragged me right down with him, if I'd let him.

I spent so much more when I was with him than when I was on my own, trying to keep up with his lifestyle because of course he wanted us to do everything together, you have to compromise in relationships and I felt as if perhaps I was the one whose attitude was wrong - boring, mean and miserly. And he was a right one for "forgetting" his wallet etc as well, so even over and above paying my own way I was subsidising him too (lesson learned there).

It worried me that he owed money. Sure, we were financially separate but we were talking about possible eventual marriage and he wanted kids, and one day all of these red letters and final demands and unauthorised overdrafts that he treated as a bit of a joke were going to become my problem.

I hadn't expected that it would be an issue - after all, we were both on good incomes and what was it to me how he chose to spend his money? - but it was, and a year after moving in with him we split up. I felt like I had a choice between drowning with him, paying for him, or becoming the nagging wife and spoilsport who never lets him have any fun (the other thing I didn't like was that he would tell lies about his situation if he knew that telling the truth was going to lead to trouble), and I didn't fancy any of those future lives.

I would never get involved again with someone who doesn't see a problem with spending money he doesn't have, with no particular plan to ever pay it back. But... I had to find out the hard way. Had we not moved in together we'd probably still be together now. Not sure what the lesson is there - I suppose it depends what you want from the future.

bugslet

When I was close to splitting up with my partner, I checked out what would happen about the house that was solely in my name with a solicitor. The answer he came back with is that he could try and get some money through the courts, but it was unlikely he would be awarded anything. And we'd been living together for about 14 years at that time.