Babies

Brightspark87

Now this might sound like a crazy question (stay with me) but when is the right time to have a baby?

I am paying off my debt (as soon as possible!) moving up in career, my DH is 7 years older and I am now in my late 20's.

We both love children, I have a massive family and so does he but we just don't feel like we could ever a)afford them or b) feel 'ready' we don't want to have a baby whilst in debt and in london...

any advice would be greatly appreciated!

summerspring

I think this is the kind of conundrum Kirstie Allsop was referring to when she made those comments recently about women having only about 15 years to go to university, build a career, get on the property ladder and start a family.

Person_one

You have one when you want one and when you have a partner who also wants one. Ignore all the silliness and unnecessary pressure that's probably coming at you from all sides, and do it when it feels right, that could be tomorrow or never.

Brightspark87

Flumina wrote: »

I think this is the kind of conundrum Kirstie Allsop was referring to when she made those comments recently about women having only about 15 years to go to university, build a career, get on the property ladder and start a family.

To be honest this was one of the things that started that conversation. Its so hard to know what the 'right' thing to do is.....

:eek:

Brightspark87

Person_one wrote: »

You have one when you want one and when you have a partner who also wants one. Ignore all the silliness and unnecessary pressure that's probably coming at you from all sides, and do it when it feels right, that could be tomorrow or never.

Thank you, of course you are right... think I am just over thinking everything at the moment!!

PlymouthMaid

There is never a perfect time to have a child. Obvious factors which ideally would be in place first include both wanting a baby; having a safe, clean home for your new family (this does not need to be anything flash); sufficient money to afford the child including maybe one parent not working for a few years of childcare costs(but babies cost nothing like some of the figures would have you believe so long as you do not want everything new) and , lastly, loads of love. Also an acceptance that life will change irrevocably so make sure your party years are behind you pretty much as babysitters aren't always easy to find.

Loads of people grow happy families without all of those factors in place but it just makes things a little harder initially.

ska_lover

I agree with above, there is never a perfect time.

Maybe you should consider what you want to achieve before you have another one, such as you mentioned moving from London? and that might help see clearer when it will be more do-able for yourselves as a family unit

thorsoak

As a woman who started her family at the age of 23 in 1966 and then went on to have another 3 by 1976, I can only tell you what I was told, and experienced - there is never the "right time" to have a baby - but you can make it right. It's not a decision that I would want to make today though - the pressures are so much more today {{hugs}}

savingmummy

There is no right time!
When the time comes you`ll know

System

The right time for me was in my early to mid twenties. The right time for my husband was in his 30s.

If you wait till you've got the money you will never have children.

continualdiamond

The right time is when you and the other person is ready and you'll just know. Everything else going on around you doesn't really matter because you'll always find a way to make things work.

Brief about me: Decided we were ready at the age of 30 and 31 to try for a baby. Xmas 2012 hubby found out he was being made redundant in Feb 2013, Jan 2013 found out I was pregnant. (completely mixed emotions given the sudden financial situation)

I had always wanted to be out of our 2 bed flat and in a house but it hadn't happened. So decided we'd just make it work and we have.

Fast forward to today when my little girl is 8 mths old and things are totally fine. I managed to have 9 mths maternity leave and hubby eventually got a job even though it was minimum wage, we made the funds cover everything. This week I returned to work part time, 3 days a week and my hubby just got offered a better paid job than what he was earning when he was made redundant.

You'll be amazed how you just go with the flow and do what you have to do.