DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 10

tequilabird

Omg just finally opened up to my mum about my debt. Told her everything. She's upset, disappointed and feel gutted that I've kept it all from her

Feeling blue

Meatloaf1981

tequilabird wrote: »

Omg just finally opened up to my mum about my debt. Told her everything. She's upset, disappointed and feel gutted that I've kept it all from her

Feeling blue

Hey tequilabird, well done for opening up. You might feel awful about it but that should also be something of a relief that you no longer have to hide it. Your mum might be disappointed but she will come round and hopefully be supportive. I would explain to her that you're not after sympathy or financial support, just understanding and emotional support in a non-judgemental way. She will have her own feelings about what has happened and why you're in debt and it is in the nature of parents to judge their children for their perceived failings, but also to love them unconditionally. That won't change, hold fast to that.

Karen777

well done tequila bird. you did a brave thing. you can't control her reaction and it's probably because she cares about you that she is so upset.

Ellieseleven

tequilabird wrote: »

Omg just finally opened up to my mum about my debt. Told her everything. She's upset, disappointed and feel gutted that I've kept it all from her

Feeling blue

Well done on opening up to your mum, that's a huge step! As Karen says it will probably be because she cares.

I wouldn't dare tell my parents, they are from a different generation where you didn't have debt and wouldn't be able to comprehend how we could possibly owe so much:o

Ellie x

Puzzcat

Ellieseleven wrote: »

Well done on opening up to your mum, that's a huge step! As Karen says it will probably be because she cares.

I wouldn't dare tell my parents, they are from a different generation where you didn't have debt and wouldn't be able to comprehend how we could possibly owe so much:o

Ellie x

Well done tequilabird, although I am in Ellie's camp my folks will never know! Well actually bar you lot and stepchange no-one knows....
Puzz.x

System

Well done Tequilabird. We tried to tell OH's parents, they are the only ones we would think of telling, as they had lent us money in the past we thought that maybe they would be pleased we were sorting it out. They couldn't comprehend how we could have so much debt. Then when they finally understood, we tried to explain about SC and the DMP.....they didn't have a clue what we were on about and thought we meant we were taking out a 0% interest CC to transfer it all and pay it off!! They had absolutely no concept about how long it would take to pay or how interest works. They keep asking "you haven't used your CC again, have you"? Not understanding that we actually can't have credit again. So we are just getting on with it. I must say I am glad I have all my friends on this thread to help me out and listen to my moans.:)

debtfreedesciple

£33,000 unsecured debt, I thought it was around £20,000, what an earth shattering shock when I found out the true amount. I felt sick and downright ashamed.
Now I have sorted my DMP out, I feel like a weight has been lifted.
They say it may affect your credit rating...I never want to go near any credit again!
From now on, if I can't afford it, I don't have it. Cash all the way.
DFD January 2020, sooner though if I have my way.

System

debtfreedesciple wrote: »

£33,000 unsecured debt, I thought it was around £20,000, what an earth shattering shock when I found out the true amount. I felt sick and downright ashamed.
Now I have sorted my DMP out, I feel like a weight has been lifted.
They say it may affect your credit rating...I never want to go near any credit again!
From now on, if I can't afford it, I don't have it. Cash all the way.
DFD January 2020, sooner though if I have my way.

We were the same, turned out to have a lot more than we thought.... we had added up the CC's but not actually taken into account, the OD's and the loan! :eek: Very silly of us really. Still at least we are now on the right track. First SC payment went out on the 10th, so we are on the way...:)

Scaredofdebt_2

tequilabird wrote: »

Omg just finally opened up to my mum about my debt. Told her everything. She's upset, disappointed and feel gutted that I've kept it all from her

Feeling blue

Well done and I am sure you will start to feel better now your mum knows. She probably knew something was up and was worried anyway. I opened up to my dad and my sister and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, especially when they asked how much we owed but it was such a relief. I have not told the rest of my family but knowing my dad and sister are there to support us makes things much easier. I did not want to tell my dad but he knew something was not right and forced it out of me and my sister was relieved as she thought I was going to tell her, myself or hubby or dad or my boys were ill! Good luck with everything.

Scaredofdebt_2

ploppy57 wrote: »

We were the same, turned out to have a lot more than we thought.... we had added up the CC's but not actually taken into account, the OD's and the loan! :eek: Very silly of us really. Still at least we are now on the right track. First SC payment went out on the 10th, so we are on the way...:)

Same with us. We did not think we owed anywhere near as much as we do. Feel stupid now that we did not realise but like you said we are on the right track now. Our first payment went out on the 10th and so far every one of our creditors have agreed to freeze interest with the exception of Halifax who we are waiting to hear from!! Dread to think how much we would have ended up owing if my hubby had not insisted we worked out exactly how much we owed!!!