Literally worried sick :'(

rubbish_at_usernames

Hi, firstly I know I'm new to this forum and none of you know me but I'm literally at my wits end. Sorry this is a long post.

My 17 year old daughter, who I'll just call H has just moved her abusive ex into her flat. She has a young baby, who's 18 weeks old. Last year, before and during H's pregnancy, he was violent and abusive. He also has serious substance misuse issues that he won't deal with and will happily spend all their money on drugs before selling things to get more. He owes money to dealers left right and centre and has been arrested several times.

Social Services were concerned with the relationship and were involved, then she left him & they were no longer concerned. She moved back in with us, we all moved away to another part of the country (not because of him, because my hubby left the forces).

H went to women's aid and they gave her lots of advice.

When the baby was born, H's Health visitor told her in no uncertain terms that if the ex was allowed unsupervised access to the baby, she would report her concerns to child services. Anyway, basically, because he's moved back in, a referral was made by a different health visitor.

Social Services in this area have said that they have found no evidence that he is potentially harmful, no records in the previous county or from the police authority. When we gave them specific details about things that happened which involved the police and the council almost a year ago, before she left him, the social worker said it was too long ago to be relevant and doesn't count as evidence.

We know he's abusing her again, mentally and financially to the point where she doesn't have enough money to buy the baby milk and has had to ask her friends to give her healthy start vouchers. The baby is being left on a couch to scream while they go outside to smoke, it's only a matter of time before the baby rolls off. The flat is a disgusting mess with drugs and knives being left lying around. We've provided photos to social services of it. The boyfriend has invited total strangers in off the street to drink and take drugs in the flat. Again, social services aren't concerned because on the one time they visited (which was planned so they knew it was coming) the flat was tidy and H & the boyfriend were observed with the baby.

Social Services basically washed their hands of the situation, saying that unless something actually happens to the baby or H, there's nothing they can or will do, that they're not going to be monitoring them in anyway and that they have no concerns for the baby or H's welfare. How can this be????????????? What world am I living in where this sort of thing is ok???????

I'm literally worrying myself sick, the NSPCC and the Family Rights group have told me to make a complaint to the manager of the duty team at social services, which I've done but the point is, there's a baby and a vulnerable young mum suffering and the people who have the authority to help keep them safe are refusing to do anything unless/until the baby gets hurt. I have to ask, what's the point in having social services if they can't protect a child from harm

My heart is literally breaking & I feel constantly sick. It's all I can think about, I can't sleep and I can't go round there because he's convinced her that I'm trying to split them up and get the baby off her and so she's refusing to speak to me.

Anyway, thanks for reading. If anyone has any advice on how to handle this, I'd be grateful. Ta.

Ms_Chocaholic

Can you call the previous Social Worker who was involved and ask him/her to pass your concerns onto the new authority where your daughter is living.

rubbish_at_usernames

I'll give them a call tomorrow, it's worth a try. It seems like such an obvious step to take now you've mentioned it. I'm not thinking straight, clearly. Thanks.

savingmummy

You need to call social services and DEMAND someone in charge for them to look into all of what you`ve mentioned.
They can not ignore any report.

If they still refuse to listen you can always contact the nspcc they act on every call and within 24hrs an instant response team will be in touch at the address.
They file a report on every report and keep them on file in the even of further calls.


http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/are-you-worried-hub_wdh72939.html

Ms_Chocaholic

savingmummy wrote: »

You need to call social services and DEMAND someone in charge for them to look into all of what you`ve mentioned.
They can not ignore any report.

If they still refuse to listen you can always contact the nspcc they act on every call and within 24hrs an instant response team will be in touch at the address.
They file a report on every report and keep them on file in the even of further calls.


http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/are-you-worried-hub_wdh72939.html

Are you sure?
This is not my experience of what NSPCC does

whitewing

Exactly what I would have suggested.

Can you also call the original health visitor.

Can you find out who the health visitor is now and see if she can make a visit.

Can you do a Claire's Law and Sarah's Law application with the local police regarding the boyfriend (call 101)? They may not be able to confirm details to you but it will get the details on the system again. If your daughter is under 18, it may be that they would confirm details to you. It may prompt someone to get serious.

Ms_Chocaholic

Have you thought about contacting the Police yourself under Sarah's Law

See information here
http://www.itv.com/news/2013-12-23/what-is-sarahs-law-background-to-the-nationwide-scheme/

Here's a snippet (I'm not sure how accurate the info is but if I can find anything more "formal" I will post here again)

How does the scheme work? Anyone who wants to find out if someone in contact with a child has a record of child sexual offences can use the scheme.
Police forces process the application - but disclosure is not guaranteed.
However, an applicant can trigger an investigation to find out if a person has a known history even if there are no firm grounds for suspicion.
Grandparents and neighbours are also invited to use the scheme but it is most commonly used by parents and guardians.

marisco_2

How long ago did you make the complaint to the manager? I hope you hear back from him/her very soon, and that an investigation into this situation will have been launched. You deserve a clear and thorough answer as to why your grandchild is being left in such an unsafe environment, whilst those best placed to help him are just standing back waiting for the inevitable to happen. I am so sorry to have to write that, as I know it will bring you pain, but the risk that babe is at is immense.

I find it shocking and horrendous that a social worker sees fit to not do anything constructive, until such time as an innocent babe gets hurt. To me that kind of professional approach and conduct, from a person holding down a role where they should be protecting little ones from harm (emotional, physical and otherwise) borders on the total negligent.

whitewing

Is the boyfriend the actual father of the baby (as far as you know?)

If not, baby is potentially at even more risk, and also, could it be possible to get the father/father's family involved in raising concerns?

rubbish_at_usernames

The previous health visitor has left, the one who made the referral was just filling in and now there's another health visitor who will apparently be taking over. She went with the duty social worker to do the visit.

I'll have a look into Claire's & Sarah's law. We know he had an injunction against him for harassing a previous girlfriend, let alone all the times the police have been called that we know of.

Thanks, it's really helpful.

Oh, the NSPCC did tell us that when they make a referral, social services has to follow it up with them and let them know what the outcome is and although we won't be informed, I feel a bit reassured. I was on the phone to them for ages earlier, they were really good, can't fault them.

Ms_Chocaholic

rubbish_at_usernames wrote: »

The previous health visitor has left, the one who made the referral was just filling in and now there's another health visitor who will apparently be taking over. She went with the duty social worker to do the visit.

I'll have a look into Claire's & Sarah's law. We know he had an injunction against him for harassing a previous girlfriend, let alone all the times the police have been called that we know of.

Thanks, it's really helpful.

Oh, the NSPCC did tell us that when they make a referral, social services has to follow it up with them and let them know what the outcome is and although we won't be informed, I feel a bit reassured. I was on the phone to them for ages earlier, they were really good, can't fault them.

NSPCC will pass the referral to Social Services who will then look at it and decide what to do. NSPCC do get a letter telling them what Social Services are doing with the case, unfortunately this is a one line letter and nothing more.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the NSPCC get no chance to question or change the outcome of what Social Services decide.