Tonight I've hit rock bottom...

nolongerindenial

As for phone, get a non smartphone so you can not physically gamble on it...

For changing passwords, generate a random one using a password generator from google. Change your password on all online accounts to that and restart your computer, hey presto no knowledge
Of the password!

savingmummy

Well done posting, takes a lot to speak out about it!


I think you need to get some help regarding the gambling addiction.
My father has lived his whole life in debt because of fruit machines and betting on horses.
He started at 18 and stopped at 34 when he married my mum (well we thought he had anyway but he hadn't stopped!).
His now 68 and in January became debtfree after paying back a HUGE loan which he had topped up to feed his habit.

cashburner

Mate,

I too am a recovering addict and I fully understand your pain and shame.

Dont panic though, there is another way.....

You need help and there are options out there for your addiction... The most well know is Gamblers Anonymous so why not see if theres a meeting near you?

Get along, no one will judge as they have all been there and some still are.... You can share your story with them and they will share theirs with you and the relief this can bring by knowing you are not alone is in itself amazing.

You have to accept the fact that whenever you have money you will likely spend it on gambling so you must limit your access to cash to near zero other than for daily essentials. Is there someone who can look after your cash for you?

Contact Step Change regarding your debts, totally free and they will help you work out a realistic budget to pay off all your debt in time and they will present this to your creditors and they will collect one payment from you and pass it on. Creditors phne you still all you do is tell them to phone Step Change, this too can be a relief.

I am 37 my friend and therefore can tell you that it will only get worse if you dont get help now, I've had an additional 10 years of misery and nearly lost evetrything by doing exactly what you are doing...... Life can be better but you have to truly accept that you are powerless over gambling and the first step to doing that is by going to a GA meeting.

I wish you well and assure you that whilst it might get worse before it gets better there can be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Brightspark87

Some great advice here but just wanted to add that you have made the first massive step - you know there is a problem. It doesn't matter what it took to get to that stage you have crossed that line. Stay strong and remember that its an addiction, and one step at a time.

Good luck

longtermplanner

I agree with the others, you have taken the vital first step. I had a friend at uni who used this http://www.gamblock.com/index.html on his PC. That was before the days of smart phones, so I think you will have to tackle that too.

As Cash Burner says, contact StepChange re your debts http://www.stepchange.org/. You could tackle those as well yourself, but I reckon you have enough on your plate, getting some help to deal with the payday loan sharks is a good idea.

Youngandfoolish

hi everyone

Firstly i just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their advice and information. I have taken note of everything you have all said. I never expected to feel so much support from "strangers on the internet" and for that I am truly grateful. It was comforting to hear from the ex-addicts and gives me hope I can recover.

After no sleep or eating and constantly worry, I decided to bite the bullet and I have spoken to my sister about my problem and I'm looking into getting help with her support. She has lent me the money to pay off the pay day loans in full, as suggested by usernamealreadyexists (thank you for your wake up call when I needed it the most) I didn't really take much note on how much I would actually be paying back over the actual long term. I have two credit card debt and an overdraft. I take it is better to pay off the higher APR cards first? I have regular money coming in on a weekly basis, more than enough to live sensibly and pay off these debts.

I am going to install one of those software suggested by muhren to stop me from even being tempted.

I dont gamble on my phone/ipad or even go to bookies or casinos. Its just almost every week I had a flutter online and because I never handed any physical money over, I guess I didnt see the problem till it was too late.

Ive decided to keep any money I have in cash, so i can see what I'm spending in future. (as I stated i literally only gamble online and at night)

Unfortunately for me I never learnt the value of money growing up and ever since those student loan days, where I had pockets full of money, things just went down hill.

I'm determined to sort my life out and clear these debts. I will be taking a good look through these forums for any money saving ideas or ways to make money and clear it faster. Being optimistic, I could clear these debts in under a year.

Once again, I cannot stress how greatful I am to each and everyone who has replied. You are all great people and have helped me when I needed it the most. Thank you.

p.s. sorry if some of that seems a little incoherent. My head has been all over the place and its hard to think properly at the moment.

cashburner

@youngandfoolish.

I'm pleased your resolving your issues and your sister is prepared to support you. YOu'll be amazed how much your loved ones will support you if you open up to them.... that is why they are loved ones....

On a cautionary note just be careful regarding the cash thing, I know you say you only gamble online so on the face of it the cash idea seems good, however gambling is a very powerful addiction and you may find yourself creeping towards the bookies to play those horrible machines.....

I really hope you dont but just be aware the pull is very very strong....

If you find this happening you must be prepared to relinquish all control over your money to a trusted person (your sister most likely) and then only have cash for the bare essentials that day (i.e. bis fare, food etc.)

I hope that this doesnt happen but just thought I'd make you aware of the potential.....

I wish you every success, one day at a time mate...

dancingfairy

I would definitely consider getting some help for the gambling - whether it's counselling to address the issues behind the gambling or support from a group (whether online or in person).
It is likely to raise it's head again so whilst you are feeling strong you need to make it as hard as you can for you to gamble again - ie self excluding, installing anti-gambling software etc but also finding techniques you can use when the urge to gamble hits you (and I would assume you will feel the need in future otherwise if it was that easy you would have quit already but with help and support you can manage it).
The only way from here is up.
df

Muhren

Just thought I'd find how you are getting on Y&F?

Youngandfoolish

Muhren wrote: »

Just thought I'd find how you are getting on Y&F?

Hi,

I'm feeling better than I was a few nights ago

I think its finally sunk in that I need to stop wasting my money gambling and put all my money into paying off my debts. I've spent a long time thinking about the years and feel ashamed I'd been such a fool.

I've recently joined the 'Noddle' website to view my credit file and I'm trying to make sense of all that information. I was wondering if anyone could tell me where I could find the information on defaults etc. I have missed a payment by a couple of days, twice, in around 5 years and have gone over my credit limit a handful of times. I have received a letter in the post mentioning default fees or something, are these the same thing? I'm guessing my poor credit is due to the large amount of debt I've managed to accumulate and for the length of time I've had it!

However, I can't believe I never thought to come on here of all places to seek help. What a great website/forum and what a great bunch of people you all are. I'm enjoying my time here and have to admit, I'm feeling the 'thrift bug' take a hold :rotfl:

Kind regards

YAF