husband in icu, and im fumming with his family

lilmissreading

cazzibo - that's a good point about photos. I knew someone whose OH took one picture of them in ICU and she was fascinated. She kept it with her throughout the rest of her hospital stay and would look at it regularly, saying can you believe this was me?! At that stage it didn't seem to have much meaning to her in terms of distress as it was hard for her to connect with that person.

I have also heard that people can come out of ICU with nightmares and sometimes they need follow up counselling. If you're lucky your ICU might provide that, otherwise you have to keep your ears and eyes open for symptoms and ask your GP. I don't know the resources that personone has mentioned but sounds good too.

Sorry when you mentioned trouble keeping up with the house I assumed you meant bill paying, food shopping, cooking etc. Presumably you've ditched any unessentials like hoovering and asked anyone who might be able to help out. Maybe a charitable organisation can help? Are you aware of any tumour related helpdesks in the hospital? It is really important to look after yourself as an empty vase cannot fill another.

Good luck and take care

marisco_2

So much good advice given already, that I cant really add to. Couldn't read and run though. Very sorry to hear of all you are going through and faced with. I hope your husband pulls through and goes on to make a full recovery. Do you have any good friends who could support you and offer some practical help? Thinking of you.

missindecisive

Hello op. Hope your husband soon makes a speedy recovery.. Forget Facebook you have not got time for that. Your mother in law sounds like an irritant you just don't need, some people are clue less.
You need support from more sensible people, have you any friends you can turn to? Perhaps someone could share the odd journey with you to hospital, keep you company. Or maybe is there someone who could stay with the kids over night so you could stay in a hotel....
Try and think logically dont let mil and her silly antics get in the way, I know I've got one like her as well, she just does not know how to behave.
Hope he gets well soon, remember to eat well x

Morglin

christmaspud wrote: »

Well where do I start...
My husband has been in hospital for the past 4 weeks, after having a brain tumour removed...
he is currently in intensive care, been on a ventilator for last 8 days, they have now fitted a tracheostomy to help him with his breathing...


Now the 2 issues I have his 3 adult children have not even bother to go and visit him, nor have any of his other family only his mother.....


also his mother has been putting on facebook for everyone to read, in great detail everything my husband is going though, ie being on the ventilator, when he would not wake up from being in a coma etc....


Now im finding it all very hard to deal with,
ive been traveling 45 miles each day by coach to spend every minute of the day by my husband side, as well as looking after my 2 younger children and trying to run the house as well.


and im finding it getting me very mad when she keep putting everything on facebook, my husband(her son) would go mad if he knew his whole life was all over facebook....


what do I do?
I don't really get on with my mother in law its just a case of putting up with her, as she talk down to me and finds it hard to understand im her son next of kin,


as she got the right hump when the doctors were trying to talk and ask me to sign papers and she kept asking why the doctors wont ring her as well as me...


What do I do....

I had murders with my DH's family, when he was last in hospital, as they were no help at all, and made everything about them.:mad:

In the end, I let them have it lol::eek:

Other than that, unfriend MIL, carry on as your'e doing and ignore their phone calls.

I took the view that hubby was my priority and nuts to rest of them!

Hope he recovers soon.

Lin

mountainofdebt

Of course it could be that MIL is feeling helpless and is being a PITA because she doesn't know how to handle the situation.

Is there anyway the OP could harness this to her advantage? By getting her to pick up / look after the children, perhaps doing a spot of ironing etc?