Dating

cloudninety

Hi all

I went out on Saturday with a fellow that I had previously briefly met. It was great I thought and we chatted for a couple of hours. I thought he was really nice. But he didn't ask for my number (he does have my email address) and he just said that it was nice to meet me when we said goodbye. Also he hasn't been back in contact yet. I got the impression that he might be a bit reserved/shy with regards to dating but I don't really know. I feel quite sad about it. I was hoping to see him again but surely he would have been in contact by now if he was interested??

He had seemed quite keen to meet up originally and I am now wondering if I messed up on the date to put him off

ETA very rarely do any fellows want to spend time with me and this fellow and I seemed to have quite a bit in common which makes it harder.

trevorsminted

Contact him and ask if he wants to meet up again if he found you so nice??? simples....

KatieDee

cloudninety wrote: »

Hi all

I went out on Saturday with a fellow that I had previously briefly met. It was great I thought and we chatted for a couple of hours. I thought he was really nice. But he didn't ask for my number (he does have my email address) and he just said that it was nice to meet me when we said goodbye. Also he hasn't been back in contact yet. I got the impression that he might be a bit reserved/shy with regards to dating but I don't really know. I feel quite sad about it. I was hoping to see him again but surely he would have been in contact by now if he was interested??

He had seemed quite keen to meet up originally and I am now wondering if I messed up on the date to put him off

ETA very rarely do any fellows want to spend time with me and this fellow and I seemed to have quite a bit in common which makes it harder.

Try not to worry about it too much. Had you met before this evening or was this your first meeting?

Have you sent him a message? If not, he could be posting exactly the same thing on another forum! Sometimes people are nervous to make the first move in case of rejection. I would send him a text saying you enjoyed the date, nothing more at this stage, and see if he replies.

If not...nothing lost! Just dust yourself off, see it as dating experience and move on to your next one

[Deleted User]

In my experience, 'it was nice to meet you' usually means they are not interested and are trying to be kind

bagpussbear

Doesn't mean you messed up anything on the date, it could be he doesn't feel that you are right for him.

I would have expected some sort of contact after 4 days to be honest, but why not drop him a email, nothing pushy, but saying you enjoyed seeing him Saturday and see what sort of response you get back?

trailingspouse

For goodness sake, people. This is 2014.

OP - send him an e-mail asking him out next week. He'll either say yes or no. Then you'll know.

Good grief, you've got the vote and everything now - you can do the asking.

Anatidaephobia

As you say, he is reserved/shy so he might feel awkward about getting in touch with you again. I wouldn't read much into the "it was nice to meet you thing" - maybe he just didn't know what to say at the end of the date so that's what he came out with.

Just send him a message saying Saturday was fun, does he want to do it again some time. You have nothing to lose by sending a message - but imagine if a second date didn't happen because the two of you were sitting home waiting for the other didn't get in touch! That would be a shame.

FBaby

Who arranged the date you went on? If him, then he is clearly not shy and can take initiatives, so I would leave it alone. There are a number of reasons why he might have decided that he doesn't want to take things forward that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.

In my experience, 'it was nice to meet you' usually means they are not interested and are trying to be kind

Not forcibly. My hubby on our first date hurried me back to my car, gave a peck on the cheek, said it was 'nice to meet me' and was off before I could say goodbye myself. I thought I had blown it and was gutted as I'd really liked him (when I didn't think I would in the flesh), but by the time I got home, I had received a text saying he'd had a great time and wanted to meet again. I later found out he was late to meet a friend to play tennis with!

marisco_2

cloudninety wrote: »

He had seemed quite keen to meet up originally and I am now wondering if I messed up on the date to put him off

I doubt very much that you did or said anything to mess things up. Please don't be so harsh or place such little value on yourself.

This is just a little knock in the great scheme of things, and no indicator that you aren't a lovely person who has much to offer.

Move on and when you are ready, you will find someone who appreciates all your lovely qualities, and be far happier for it

trolleyrun

"Hi xxxxx

Just wanted to drop you a quick note to say thank you for Saturday. I had a lovely time. Please do let me know if you'd like to meet up again sometime.

Cloudninety"

Try emailing him something along the lines of the above. Then you've done what you can do. If he doesn't want to meet up again, don't blame yourself, it just wasn't meant to be.

Person_one

cloudninety wrote: »

He had seemed quite keen to meet up originally and I am now wondering if I messed up on the date to put him off

There's no reason to jump from 'he's not keen anymore' to 'I did something wrong'. The whole point of dating is to see how you get along and how much you like spending time together, sometimes it just happens that two people aren't as compatible as they thought they might be. It doesn't mean either of them got it wrong, or messed up, just that they aren't right for each other.

If you were just being yourself, and acting like you, and that put him off, then its not a problem because you wouldn't want someone to stick around who doesn't like you as you really are, would you?