Arguments caused by Declaration of Trust when buying a house

FBaby

I think it is very safe to consider all this now. Not agreeing about it and being protective about your financial affairs doesn't mean you won't be able to have a long lasting happy life together. Saying that, protecting doesn't mean protecting every penny as any relationship involves a level of risk and losing/gaining financially (and emotionally) from it.

I personally think that it is fair you should secure your deposit and everything else is 50/50. After all, she will benefit from an investment that she is only able to make because of your involvement, so for that, 50/50 seems more than fair.

What matters is that you can move forward to a compromise. If you can't manage that, then you will likely struggle in the future as no relationship survives long without some level of compromising on both sides.

beecher2

Would a compromise be for you to get back the 225k rather than a proportion with the rest split 50/50>?

Pixie5740

beecher2 wrote: »

Would a compromise be for you to get back the 225k rather than a proportion with the rest split 50/50>?

I'm not sure that's a great compromise for the OP either either, unless house prices have nose-dived when the OP comes to sell, then he might be quids in.

Ulfar

Given that it is a rocky relationship and this issue has become a major source of contention when you seem to be being completely fair, I would not be buying a house with her.

It may hurt now but will hurt a lot more when you do split up.

As an alternative keep your shares and use the dividends to pay a larger mortgage for a house in your name, or as a deposit for a house in your name.

Annie1960

Are all modern relationships like this?

BitterAndTwisted

I sincerely hope not!

skint_chick

I've been here with this one with my ex - the exact same situation and it lasted 6 months! From what I can work out you're buying at £630,000 odd so her 50% of costs will be over £12,000. If that's the case then does she have this money? You said she only started work recently and doesn't have any money to put towards the deposit so are you being completely fair? On the surface it sounds fair if you were talking about a couple of thousand but not so fair if she doesn't have that kind of money!

If you've nearly broken up twice before and this is causing so much stress then why are you buying together? You should buy alone and if she wants to live with you then she could pay her share of the bills and maybe buy the groceries or something else in lieu of 'rent'

mufi

Annie1960 wrote: »

Are all modern relationships like this?

I don't think so, though no grounds for optimism after I saw a mother of very young children described as a "scrounger" by one young charmer. Her crime was being a stay-at-home mother.


We do seem to have galloped from one extreme to another.

dominoman

Ulfar wrote: »

Given that it is a rocky relationship and this issue has become a major source of contention when you seem to be being completely fair, I would not be buying a house with her.

It may hurt now but will hurt a lot more when you do split up.

As an alternative keep your shares and use the dividends to pay a larger mortgage for a house in your name, or as a deposit for a house in your name.

To be honest we've always had a rocky relationship but I genuinely believed this could work. That is why I agreed to do everything in joint names.

TBH I really didn't think the declaration of trust would be the point of contention because we agreed to split the costs and mortgage a long time ago - and it is only now, three days before completion, that we need to sign it and she is not happy with what we agreed any more.

If I could go back of course I would.

What happens if we don't complete? Presumably the entire deposit (£62k) is lost?

dominoman

skint_chick wrote: »

I've been here with this one with my ex - the exact same situation and it lasted 6 months!

If you've nearly broken up twice before and this is causing so much stress then why are you buying together? You should buy alone and if she wants to live with you then she could pay her share of the bills and maybe buy the groceries or something else in lieu of 'rent'

Yes I would be happy to do it that way, but she wasn't. She wants a share of the house - and I can understand that. From my side too I always wanted to buy a house jointly. To do everything together, furnish it, decorate, make it beautiful and homely.

It changes the feel of the house if I buy and she just pays some costs. In any case we discussed that and if she pays any costs or rent she would like to have a share in return.

The declaration of trust is a simple way to protect my 225k life savings if it goes horribly wrong - but I certainly never expected to need it!

Bit of a dilemna now.