Arguments caused by Declaration of Trust when buying a house

dominoman

I am buying a house with my girlfriend. Because I am paying the whole deposit we were advised to get a Declaration of Trust that determines who gets what if we split up.

We have separated twice in the past - though at those times we were renting - so it is a possibility

The problem is that the whole thing has become a massive source of friction. She seems to think I am being unfair so I don't know what to do.

Initially we decided to buy a house together and get a joint mortgage. I then said I was happy to sell my shares and put all my savings in so that we could get a much cheaper mortgage. She was happy and keen for me to do that at the time. In total I am putting in 35% of the cost of the house in cash, and we are splitting the mortgage. She isn't paying in any deposit.

The way we worked it in the Declaration is that if we sell I get back the proportion I put in, and she gets back half the rest (as we split the mortgage 50/50).

She is arguing that I should also pay 70% of the fees, stamp duty etc because I am putting in the deposit. To me that seems unfair as we are buying jointly and me putting the deposit is already costing me over 10k a year in lost dividends (it was all in shares before) and all the house costs are shared between us. I also agreed to add £150 more to the joint account every month to help her. A month ago she was really happy but now she wants me to pay more.

What should I do?

We are about to complete and this simple document is turning the whole excitement of getting a house together into a business transaction. She is even arguing that if we put in a new fireplace that should be paid mainly by me because I am putting in the deposit.

Part of me wishes I could cancel the whole thing, but we exchanged last week so it is too late for that.

Mojisola

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4979892

Replies on here might be of interest.

haras_nosirrah

Cheeky mare. Find out the rate of the 100% alder more product and work out how much the mortgage would be on that. Point out that she is benefitting from your savings to the tune of x per month

Pixie5740

I'm not surprised you're having second thoughts.

You said you were happy to cash in the dividends so forget about the £10k a year you feel you're losing out on.

I think what you have in the decloration sounds fair. If she wants to split the proceeds when the house is sold 50/50 (minus your 35% deposit) then I think the SDLT and solicitor's fees etc should be split 50/50 too. Can she really afford to pay half the mortgage repayments if you are having to sub her £150 each month?

Any chance you could get a mortgage on your own and then just have her living there and contributing towards the bills excluding the mortgage repayments?

BitterAndTwisted

She's giving you fair warning of just how it's going to be a bit further down the line.

I wouldn't buy with this person in a million years!

Strapped

Ditch the girlfriend, use the time to do up the house.

dominoman

Thanks for the advice.

In our case the deposit I am putting in is over 220k, so not exactly insignificant! It is my life savings, from over 18 years of working while living carefully and saving every penny I could for a deposit. My girlfriend only recently started to work so isn't able to contribute any savings though she can afford her half of the mortgage.

In retrospect it would have been better I just buy the house myself but I wanted her to feel like it was hers as much as mine.

Mojisola

dominoman wrote: »

She is arguing that I should also pay 70% of the fees, stamp duty etc because I am putting in the deposit. To me that seems unfair as we are buying jointly and me putting the deposit is already costing me over 10k a year in lost dividends (it was all in shares before) and all the house costs are shared between us. I also agreed to add £150 more to the joint account every month to help her.

dominoman wrote: »

In retrospect it would have been better I just buy the house myself but I wanted her to feel like it was hers as much as mine.

It sounds as if that what she wants as well, despite not contributing very much herself.

Sparx

Sorry but ditch the missus, obviously a little insight into the future which will only get worse.

It seems she wants to put in as little money & effort as possible, then reap as much as possible later in life from the house & you..

Be gone!

robatwork

Either it's half term.....or you already know the answer and are just in here asking for affirmation.

poet123

I think it is madness to go into a house purchase with someone you do not reasonably believe you will be with for the long term and who has different expectations re money than you do.