Dyslexia and relationships

Mrs_Ryan

I'm not dyslexic but I have dyscalculia and it does cause problems. I can't tell left from right and when we're out in the car I have to point at the direction we need to go as I can't physically say go left or right as I don't know which way left or right is. I'm clumsy and drop things and trying to manage my money is a nightmare. Going out in the car invariably causes a row as I can't tell which way we are supposed to be going.

xxdeebeexx

My husband and older son are both severely dyslexic.
School was really tricky for my husband in the 50's and he still gets cross about how he was treated by the teachers.


My husband starts writing his Christmas cards in mid November and very often there is a lot of ripping of paper and loud swearing.


He avoids all kinds of form filling so would never think about changing his bank or attending any kind of further education. There is a new qualification/ course that all HGV drivers need to attend. He would rather never drive a truck again than attend the course!


My older son found infant and Junior school very tricky. He struggled to keep up with even the slowest children. We worked really hard at devising strategies so that he could remember his spellings for weekly tests. He still doesn't know his times tables.
During the secondary school my son began to catch up with his peers and eventually gained 11 GCSE's (A-c) and 3 A levels.


Frustration is the trickiest part of our relationship


dx

wik

Hi there...
I am 47 and due to attending a Uni course I have recently been diagnosed with Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.. It has in a way been good to know there really is a reason for my troubles with grammer etc, and aslo that i am not clumsy and stupid, there is a reason for my ability to fall over and hurt myself or break things!!
my ex husband used to get very cross with me for my clumsyness! but if i find anyone silly enough to take me on now!! they shall have to take me as I am!

[Deleted User]

I have an 18 year old with dyspraxia and aspergers and sometimes its like teen x2.., but othertimes its heartbreakingly wonderful! He can be completely unempathetic and then at other times cut right to the heart of what makes relationships/family work (verbally)! I had him come into my bedroom, starkers, early this morning, to close my bedroom window because some road noise was overwhelming him. I'm just hoping no one was looking! The shock certainly meant I was awake bright and early lol. He doesn't even see it was inappropriate behaviour on a number of fronts.., he just sees that the noise was disturbing him lol.

The title dyslexia can mean so much and so many different things, its on the autistic spectrum of disorders so the range of things that can be or may not be affected can be huge, and will differ with each person. It can be a positive thing as well as a negative thing.

It can be hard to live with the unempathetic reactions some times but I always try to remember its not something he's doing on purpose, his view of the world is different. Don't view 'cutting' remarks as being uncaring, it doesn't always seem to register how hurtful words can be because he is quite clear what he means! I always explain why something wasn't helpful/constructive and I have seen his emotional capacity increase as he's gotten older. Things don't stay stationary, even things that I thought would stay the same.

But I have to ask.., why did you post? Is there something bothering you? If we know what it is, maybe we can answer more specifically.

lindabelle66

Thank you all for your replies

A lot of your comments and anecdotes have struck a chord with me, and have helped me look at things between my partner and i differently.

Once again, thanks

:T

InsideInsurance

I'd be surprised that dyslexia or dyscalculia can really make that much difference in a relationship unless its to the extreme of basically being illiterate.

I have mild dyslexia, suspected never diagnosed, and cannot say its ever been an issue at all. Ok, I read massively slower than my wife but at the same time I am much quicker at making decisions so when dealing with menus in restaurants she finishes seeing whats there first but I still decide first. Forms tend to be fine as they are normally writing set things like address or name rather than pro's

My wife is very bad with numbers, if asked to add 5+8 she'd probably count her fingers to do it if she didnt have a calculator to hand. Again, doesnt really effect us other than when we are in a shop and its got a "20% off last shown price" then she'll ask me what it'll cost her rather than working it out herself. Other than in India where it was a basic divide by 100 its always been fine, there it was a little irritating to have to tell her that 1,000 rs was £10 for the 5 time that day.

ostrichnomore_2

I strongly suspect OH is dyslexic but it doesn't make any difference to our relationship or daily life as it's just a spelling problem and a habit of transposing letters in words (written and spoken).

My adult son is dyslexic and mildly dyspraxic. I have to say he was quite irritating to live with at times. Highly intelligent but very slow physically - takes forever to get ready and out of house, very disorganised, forgetful. The dyspraxia causes more problems than the dyslexia. The two often go hand in hand.

I can't really complain as think I may have dyspraxia tendencies as well. Clumsy, uncoordinated, untidy, memory problems, disorganised as well.

It's a miracle there was one plate or glass left whole in our house.

HelenRachel

I'm dyslexic and currently writing up my PhD so its not held me back at work or in my home life!

My relationship with my husband in great and apart from the occasional mix up when I'm trying to work out my right and left when giving him directions it doesn't impact on our relationship. It does keep things interesting tho!

I agree with previous posts as my brain is wired slightly differently to the norm I think that people with dyslexia have other gifts that make up any short comings such as ability to problem solve and are generally quite artistic

savingmummy

My husband of 10years has severe dyslexia, he is unable to write, spell, read and can`t text or anything like that!


We have been together for 19yrs this year and I can honestly say I have had no issues. Only thing I found was at first he lost his privacy and felt ashamed, he would make up excuses when it came to reading or writing and would often use `I have forgot my reading glasses`which his thankfully got over!
Now he just says to people `sorry I`m dyslexic.
I have to fill in forms for him, I also have to write cheques if needed, I`m his eyes so to speak as without my eyes he sees nothing!!


He recently done jury service and he had to inform the courts and of course the rest of the jury were informed by the usher (with his permission) as notes needed to be taken during the said trial and they all helped him as and when he needed help!


We have 2 children 6 and 8 and he is unable to help with reading, writing, and most homeworks however he instead does crafts and other things to compensate and our children having grown up knowing have not once questioned him.
He does bedtime games instead of a story.

My DH has attended college several times but it didn't help unfortunately.
His work ethic is amazing though and he is such a outgoing person everyone loves him, I`m actually very proud of him!!

lindabelle66

Hi all

Thanks again for your replies.
For those of you who asked, the issues are that my partner takes forever to make decisions, I think he is a gold medal procrastinator! Also is rubbish with money, very forgetful, exists on very little sleep and actively avoids social situations if at all possible.
I read on line that some/all of the above are often linked to Dyslexia so that's why I was asking for your stories. Many thanks