So its ok to have knives in school???

spike241

You can't learn it for them though. You teach, they learn

z.n

On the basis that the story is essentially as retold by OP son then in her situation I too would be raising merry hell. I am enraged on his behalf and TBH I would have my child out of there immediately with letters all round to explain exactly why. It sounds like OP has been banging their head against a brick wall for three years- no amount of calm conversation is going to change anything now- the bullies and her son are set in a very nasty pattern of behaviour that is unlikely to change until the bullies reach adulthood. It is a shame they were not shocked out of it by effective discipline/anti-bullying when they were that bit younger. It must be so much harder for the school to manage it now -shame they were unable to do so years ago.

I would focus energy on finding an alternative school with really tight discipline and a really good bullying policy so your son can start afresh in a positive and supportive environment. My kids both attend state secondary schools like this so they do exist. Then make a concerted effort to ensure your son settles in well-joining clubs etc from the get-go. Things like Scouts or cadets locally to the new school might also be an idea as such activities are closely monitored by adults with a positive code of conduct. Find (with LA help if necessary) an assertiveness course or similar (self defence or physical activity class etc) to build child's confidence. Find out if anything in your child's behaviour is preventing him making 'proper' friends and help him deal with that via counselling/ in school support.

Constant bullying as a child stays for life so the sooner it is sorted the better it will be.

And to those who say it is in some way OP child's fault- what nonsense. The pressure to join the popular crowd is enormous and kids will do desperate things to join in. Children have to find their own way of navigating the problem. Some will struggle more than others with the process. The fact that OP son is trying to tag onto that group is unfortunate and OP might need to find out why this pattern has established- but that does not excuse the behaviour of the bullies. You do not pull knives on people full stop.


Good luck OP.

cheepskate_2

z.n wrote: »

And to those who say it is in some way OP child's fault- what nonsense. The pressure to join the popular crowd is enormous and kids will do desperate things to join in. Children have to find their own way of navigating the problem. Some will struggle more than others with the process. The fact that OP son is trying to tag onto that group is unfortunate and OP might need to find out why this pattern has established- but that does not excuse the behaviour of the bullies. You do not pull knives on people full stop.


Good luck OP.

I hope this was not directed at myself, as at no point did i say it was OP's son's fault, just stated how it is with children and the dynamics.

dancingfairy

I too would have gone mad at the school by now It might not technically be classed as a weapon but it was used in a threatening manner.
Once I'd calmed down a bit and made sure I had the whole story I would be writing a very stern letter to the head teacher, chair of governers and local authority and would be removing my child from the school until the matter was dealt with to my satisfaction.
I hope you have managed to make some progress with the school today. That sort of behaviour is just outrageous and should not be tolerated.
df