Name change- Am I right to do it?

marisco_2

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

Part of me feels like I'm betraying my late hsuabnd by being with someone whilst using his name and I also feel like I should go back to my maiden name to try and help me move forward with my life.

You are clearly a person of great integrity. There are some out there who think nothing, of betraying their husbands whilst using their surname whilst they are still alive, let alone when they have passed on. You really aren't betraying him at all.

My advice is that you do whatever sits best with you and enables you to move forward in your life feeling happy, content and at ease.

jackomdj

It is up to you. However, in my opinion using his name whilst with someone else is definitely not betraying him. It is recognising that he was and is a significant part of your life. When you move on and eventually marry your husband who you loved, lost, grieved over will still form an important part of who you are and a new partner will love and respect you for it.

beckysbobbles1

Thank you for the replies.

Barbiedoll- It seems your friend is in a similar situation to me.

I hadn't spoken to my partner about it but I did today. He said he understands my confusion and I have the right to use which ever name I decide. I appreciated his point of view.

I think for my own sanity I will revert back to my maiden name. I did love my husband a lot but I do want to carve out a new life for myself. I really don't have any other choice!

Although it will also feel like I'm moving backwards, I guess it'll be a matter of taking one step backwards to hopefully spring forward.

TBagpuss

You are free to use whatever name you want, and there is no betrayal of your husband, either in meeting someone else (your husband loved you, surely he would not have wanted, or expected, you to be lonely for ever?) or in keeping (or choosing not to use) your married name.

If you decide to go back to your maiden name, then you shouldn't need a deed poll. You should be able to change thinfs such as your passport by providing your birth certificate and a letter of explanation.

Some banks can be difficult and I generally advise people that it may be easier to change your bank account than to jump through the hoops they demand to change your name! Change your passport, and driving licence, then you can use the passport and driving licence as proof of ID/Address to open a new account.

In terms of day to day use, all you need do is tell people that you are reverting to your maiden name.