Ugh, bridezilla

notanewuser

We have been invited to a relative's (second) wedding. We attended the first which lasted all of 7 months.

Invites arrived a few weeks back with an RSVP date of end of August. Wedding is in October. It isn't local, and is on a Friday. So means travel, hotel, outfits, time off work etc. It's my dad's 60th birthday in October, as well as mine, my daughter's and my brother in law's. it's likely that we'll be going on holiday, but as yet nothing is sorted. No problem, because we don't need to decide until August, right?

Wrong. The bride has been on the phone ranting because we haven't told them whether we're going. It's May. She wants to bump people up from the evening do if we're not going.

I've explained, politely, that we're not sure yet what is happening about all of these birthdays yet, but we'll let her know when we know. She's really not happy about it, but as she seems not to have engaged a second brain cell when writing the (awful) invitations, I'm not sure I feel that sorry!!

I'm expecting daily texts until we tell her!

tkturner30

I guess I would say "will let you know by the RSVP date for sure" and leave it at that...

Sounds to me by your initial post that you are leaning towards a "no" at this point so perhaps drop that in as well?

"will let you know by the RSVP date for sure but right now it might be a no, im working on whats going on nearer the time and will get back to you with a definate"

notanewuser

We probably will know sooner, but she doesn't know that.

mountainofdebt

tbh it doesn't sound as if there's any love lost between you so if she continued to push for an answer then I would tell her that's a no then especially if you have to take time off work etc

notanewuser

mountainofdebt wrote: »

tbh it doesn't sound as if there's any love lost between you so if she continued to push for an answer then I would tell her that's a no then especially if you have to take time off work etc

She's been pretty sh1tty to a close relative who may or may not want us there. Can't really say no up front in case she wants us to go. :-/

notanewuser

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

I think she's realized that her RSPV date was leaving it all a bit late and panic has set in.

I'd be trying to help her out here.

Help out how?

PasturesNew

I'd tell her annual leave from work wasn't granted .... so it'll be a "No".

notanewuser

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'd tell her annual leave from work wasn't granted .... so it'll be a "No".

We run our own company. In truth, DH may well have a contract which means we can't make it. Or we might find it's the best time for a holiday. It's impossible to know so far in advance.

notanewuser

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

by firming up the dates now.

I can't do that at the moment.

The dozy tart sent the invites over 6 months before the wedding. Usual timescale is 3 months!

mazziem

If your unhappy about cost then don't go. I get married in feb and I see it as people have enough time to save and those who want to be there will be there.

I see her point though despite the RSVP date if you've had the invite you'd know yes or no wether coming .... But i see your point too as lots going on.

Just tell her no save her the stress and mardy-ness xx

mountainofdebt

notanewuser wrote: »

She's been pretty sh1tty to a close relative who may or may not want us there. Can't really say no up front in case she wants us to go. :-/

Would this relative definitely be going? If they were in two minds (and I have to say that if the bride had been sh1tty to me that WOULD be a definite no !) then I would only go once I'd spoken to the wronged relative (if that makes sense!)

Personally I can't see why either you or the wronged relative would want to go