Loan from my parents - payback ideas

Whiner

2bak860 wrote: »

@27col - its a gift from my parents that I'm paying back over time.

Then it is a loan, not a gift.

BillJones

ringo_24601 wrote: »

so I went to see her and told her that we'd much rather her see us get use of it whilst she was alive.

Wow, so not only did you ask for money from her, but you even dressed it up as being to her advantage?

That is utterly despicable.

Gaz83

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Yeh, kinda, but I used nicer words. What's money when you can give your grandma 2 cute great-grandchildren who get to live in the house she helped to buy?

I do stand on my rule to never borrow from family though. They can give me it though.

You sound like a pretty horrible, selfish person, to be honest.

Monkeyballs

Hi 2bak860,

A really good post and some excellent advice given already

If it was me it'd all be about communication and showing effort to repay and appreciation.

So it's worth sitting down and having a discussion to understand their feelings on the matter and this also gives you the opportunity to keep them abreast of your plans and concerns.

Look into other ways to raise money and increase your repayments, it'd be a pretty powerful message if a couple of nights per week you were a pot washer and gave the money you get from that to them (doesn't need to be a pot washer lol, it's just the first thing that came to mind ).

Show appreciation, words are nice but the occasional bunch of flowers or inviting them around for dinner (a nice cost conscious one mind you) can help to smooth over any "rough edges" or even just visiting more if you don't go around much (and it's not too costly).

Bottom line is that they're your parents and while it was a gift to help you it was always with the intention of paying it back. I suspect your guilt is making it feel worse than it actually is though...

Good luck!

MB

jetplane

2bak860 wrote: »

@ozzuk - from a gift from the other side of the family. Should this have gone to pay back to loan? Should I have not bought a house and lived rented giving money to some random for the rest of my years? Only time will tell.

Good lord no wonder relationships are strained, your parents watch you use someone elses money to buy a house AGAIN while you still owe them. No wonder its tricky to enjoy weekends and holidays. No, 7 day holidays, mini breaks and eating out isn't allowed when you are buying houses on other peoples money and paying back £23 a week.

So you borrow a huge sum from your parents, use it to buy a house, sell that house at a loss (why) and repay them with a token £100 month. Oh and blame your parents for not allowing you to go to a bank :huh:

Then you receive a gift from other family and use it to put a deposit on another house even though you have a £25k debt :shocked: Because that's better than paying rent to some random. Not while you owe £25k to someone it isn't.

Take some responsibility you don't need their permission to get a bank loan you're a grown up aren't you?

Monkeyballs

BillJones wrote: »

Wow, so not only did you ask for money from her, but you even dressed it up as being to her advantage?

That is utterly despicable.

LOL, I think Ringo is just not explaining the scenario very well (I hope)...

My Sister in Law's mum left had "ear marked" some money for her Grand kids in her will that my SL knew nothing about until it came up in discussion.

She wanted to leave it in the will because she thought it was "too dark and idea to consider giving while she was still around" so my SL asked why not give it now then she can see it appreciated.

It wasn't about getting money out of the old dear, seeing the money get used really gave her a boost and she used to love talking about what they had been doing

MB

Morglin

I cannot see what the problems are here, as all that needs to happen is for OP to talk to his parents, find out if they want the payments upped, and then take it from there.

I have given my kids money from their future 'inheritance' as it's more use to them now than in (hopefully) many years hence. Can't see a problem with doing that, if funds are available.

As for lending to kids, which we do, (interest free!) we simply sort out an amount ok to both parties, for pay back amounts, and they set up direct debits. I don't care what holidays they are having, I want them to enjoy life. :beer:

It's all about agreeing it, to begin with, then there shouldn't be any strife.

Lin

[Deleted User]

Monkeyballs wrote: »

LOL, I think Ringo is just not explaining the scenario very well (I hope)...

My Sister in Law's mum left had "ear marked" some money for her Grand kids in her will that my SL knew nothing about until it came up in discussion.

She wanted to leave it in the will because she thought it was "too dark and idea to consider giving while she was still around" so my SL asked why not give it now then she can see it appreciated.

It wasn't about getting money out of the old dear, seeing the money get used really gave her a boost and she used to love talking about what they had been doing

MB

That's pretty much exactly the same scenario; and my grandma was very happy to see her grandson get a family home whilst she was alive (and still is..) to see it. I wouldn't have asked for money if I didn't know there was already some 'earmarked' for each grandchild.

Gaz83

FWIW, there's nothing wrong with someone willingly giving a living inheritance. But there's something a bit off about actually asking for it.

quidsy

For me I suppose I would be thinking that if you lived an extravagant lifestyle or enjoyed alot of luxury purchases then I might be peed off that instead of trying to reduce the loan you were spending on other non essentials instead.

A full & frank conversation with them is needed, also look at ways you could possibly increase the payments to them, £100 amonth is not alot of money to give them for such a large amoutn tbh, especially interest free.

Look at areas you can cut back, do you smoke, drink, have a flash car or take foreign holidays? If yes, sacrifice until you no longer owe them this money.