Childcare problems

jfdi

I didn't think couples, where both are working, usually got help through WTC for Childcare costs?

jetplane

^^^ other way around if only one of a couple is working they don't get child care costs unless the other satisfies an exemption.

They both must be working at least 16 hours.

GobbledyGook

jfdi wrote: »

I didn't think couples, where both are working, usually got help through WTC for Childcare costs?

It depends on their salaries.

arcon5

If they are registered with ofsted it may be worth contacting them. I suspect they'll have some kind of code of conduct or code of ethics they are governed by. Which might dictate what paperwork is requried, such as letters of engagement, clear and transparent fee agreed, disengagement. And I'm sure charging for days they have refused care on would be in breach of something - especially since continuing to claim credits in such a way could potentially be seen as fraud

surveyqueenuk

Hi OP, with a user name like that, you must live near me! I've read your other thread too and I get the strong impression that the ex and her family are trying to screw you over. Please don't let them. I know you were concerned about CSA and backpay, they will only charge from the date the claim was submitted. As for the childcare situation, the grandparents are committing fraud.

My advice would be to insist that everything is now done through official channels. It seems like things have gone way past the "amicable" stage and I would be willing to put a crisp £20 on the fact that she hasn't actually gone to CSA because she knows full well that she'd end up with less.

Please don't just roll over and let them get away with being like this - it will only escalate. If you insist that everything is now done through the official channels, you may well find that their demands stop. Best of luck.

FBaby

I see now, they are using this to 'punish' OP for not going ahead with just throwing money at her ex. What they don't appreciate is that if they want money from the governement for looking after their own child (which personally I find quite despicable, but that's another issue), they need to leave their emotions and opinions on the side and do what they are being paid for.

Clearly, you have reached a stage of conflict with your ex and this is not going to get better unless you agree to hear each other out. I am guessing that her views is that as you earn more than her, despite the share care, you should be paying more in towards all the extras that come with the children. I would therefore ask her what exactly she is paying for weekly that can't be paid separately. To be fair on her, it might very well be that all the tax credits she gets goes towards childcare and she only has child benefit to pay for a number of things. If her income is significantly lower than you and she is paying currently all the extras such as school meals, all clothing, activities etc..., the she might very well be contributing more than her toward your child.

She already realised that going through the csa might not bring her what she considers is fair in the circumstances, hence the next move. You can either tell her to get lost, or you can try to work with her, but remember that ultimately, it is your child who is stuck in the middle and the worse affect for a child of separated parents is knowing that the two people they love most are in conflict over them.

LandOfGreenGinger

Thanks for all the posts they've been incredible helpful.
Just to clarify on a few points, his place is paid for Monday to Friday because during half term and school holidays they are his care providers whilst we both work. This I cannot clarify as I've never seen a shred of paper work.
I have my son 3 nights a week, and the maintenance is what the conflict is about. I'm in no way refusing or avoiding to pay, but due to her lifestyle choices (which I don't want to go into here) I didn't want to give her the cash in hand. However I did offer a 'package' of paying for school dinners, haircuts etc, and clothes to the value of the monthly maintenance payment, she refused, but also refused to get CSA involved.
I've been somewhat reluctant to get Ofsed involved but I'd be stupid to show loyalty when they clearly are trying to make life very difficult for me.
I think breaking the routine and not letting my ex hold childcare as a bargaining tool the definitely the way forward

fivetide

Thing is, you need to pay the amount. Don't give her cash at all, no record of you paying. Set up a direct debit to her with the title 'child maintainence for [name]" so she can't take you to court later and say you've never paid a thing.

Chances are she is telling them you are flat out refusing to pay so you can understand them being in the middle, however, as several have said, they need to be professional about it and forget the fact they are related.

Whilst it could be good to mixc with different kids at another care place/nursery, it can also be a bit of an uphevil so hopefully you can keep some continuity for your little one.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

I would just open a case with the CMS myself. She can't refuse to use them then.

Oh, and make alternative childcare arrangements for when the child is in your care.

shoe*diva79

You cannot dictate what she spends child maintenance on so offering her a package of clothing, school dinners etc wont wash with the CSA etc. I noticed on your other thread you were putting the money (£16 a week?) into a savings account for your son? Personally i would set up a standing order to your ex, clearly labelled child maintenance and pay. If you want to top up with clothes, school dinners etc then you can do but at least you are paying the minimum.

With regard to the childcare, is there anyway you can speak to the grandparents? It is against the law for them to accept money from tax credits if they are not looking after the child. Unless your ex has adjusted the claim with the tax credit office? if she hasn't then she, along with the grandparents are committing benefit fraud. A call to OFSTED would help.