Can my ex force me to sell my house?

duchy

BigJockKnew wrote: »

If I were him I would write the money off.....

Sadly, he can force the sale.

Be probably could when the kids are 18 but that is ten years down the line and the OP doesn't have an issue with that .....it's doubtful he could now -possible but unlikely especially if he doesn't have spare thousands to throw at the legal system.

Alchemilla

In my experience whether he can force ghe sale depends on whether the amount of house is excessive for your needs.

What a lot you and the children have been through.

CRANKY40

Just a passing thought... all assets are joint so if he is entitled to a share of your house are you not entitled to a share of his endowment when it matures?

Skintski

He could force a sale but it is expensive to do so. My ex told me he was going to make me sell the house, my solicitors advice was to let him because it would end up costing him a lot more than it would cost me.

SavingPennies_2

Im confused, he will soon have 44K, why cant he use that as a deposit on a new house? I realise he can't borrow a massive amount, but unless he's in London he can surely by something in a cheaper area then upgrade when the kids have moved out and you (presumably) sell the house and downsize yourself.

vonvonvon

SavingPennies, in two years time, his endowment should mature to about £34,000 which would provide a good deposit off a house he buys at that time, or, if he were to take on a mortgage today, it would pay off a large chunk of the mortgage he would be two years into paying.


I bought this 3-bed semi house off my local council in 2002, after two years of being a tenant. He came to live with me in 2004 (I think, but I can check for sure later).


My youngest birth child still lives with me; he has literally just turned 18 but was 15 when the children came to live with us and because of a significant age gap, we extended the house to provide a fourth bedroom (and garage and en-suite etc) so that they could have a bedroom each. Our thoughts at the time were that it would not be good to have a teenage boy wandering around the house in his undies with two small children in the house, and so he now has his own room with en-suite shower etc. to save embarrassment and to prevent potential problems with two small children coming from a difficult background seeing bits they shouldn't be seeing. It was all planned very carefully, considering the needs not only of the two children we adopted but also of my son, going through puberty and accepting the fact that in a few years, he would probably be bringing his girlfriend to stay and so the en-suite was provided to protect his privacy for such a time.


So my house is not anything excessive, it's a four-bed semi-detached, ex local authority house and provides just the right amount of bedrooms for the three children who live with me. I also have three grown up children who visit me (plus three grand-children) and with two sofa-beds and an air-bed, for special occasions, I can squeeze them all in, just, with careful planning.


Thank you all of you who have responded; I am in a better frame of mind about it all now. I know it will not be easy, but I will fight to keep my house and I repeat, I am not against him having his money back, but 'eventually' being the key word here.

FBaby

I can see both sides. From his perspective, he has money invested in the house, and without it, he can't take on an other mortgage to offer the security of the house to his children. Waiting until they are older and he won't be able to take a mortgage.

At the same time, OP has clearly stated that she is not in any position to take on more hours as her health and therefore would not be in a position to get a mortgage herself, so one has to accept they won't be a house owner. If the interest of the children are taken into consideration, it becomes a question of them retaining the stability of one house being the one they are familiar with, ie. with the OP, along with prospect, which it would seem that OP are much lower than her ex to raise the required deposit in the next few years to allow him to become an owner again.

In terms of maintenance, I think the best way to start is to consider disposable income rather than income alone. OP, are you claiming all the benefits you can? Does you ex pay for childcare after school holidays when the children are with him (cost you don't have as only working full time). Once this is established, I would discuss on this basis who can pick up some of the extra costs that are only required once rather than at both house. Ideally, assuming your disposable income is less than his, he would agree to pick up some/most of these costs. It would be so much better to come to this sort of agreement than going straight to the csa.

Back to the house as stated already, he could take you to court, but I would expect his chances would be low, which would result in wasted money on court fees.

vonvonvon

FBaby that's just it, he CAN take on another mortgage and he has shot himself in the foot because if he HAD bought the house he was looking at this time last year, he could be a year into paying his mortgage off by now. I can only assume he CHOSE to rent (temporarily) because he knew, just as I know that without us both signing a 'Clean Break Order' that because we are still both married, I would equally be entitled to any equity in any property he owned. His stubbornness on this meant that he missed the boat on buying and now house prices have risen, or so he keeps telling me.


He could quite easily buy a 3 bed semi in this area (East Midlands) for less than £100,000 - I have just put the town we live in on Right Move and there are currently 15 3 bedroomed houses for sale under £100,000.


Regarding benefits, I don't know if I am claiming all that I can but I do get child benefit and some working tax credit.


I was in a well paid, full time job with the prospect of promotion when the children came to live with us, I had got through cancer treatment and my prospects and health were good; I took some adoption leave and went back full time but as my base of work had relocated 14 miles away, on top of a full time job (with no help at home with domestic chores I might add) I had an additional 7 1/2 hours travelling time. I was struggling with fitting it all in and then one child developed a sudden life-threatening illness so I was off work caring for him, extremely stressed out to the point of being then off work with depression, then our marriage crumbled under the strain of it all. Eventually, I took part of my doctors advice, which was to work part time (she also said to get a cleaner in, but that was never going to happen!) This was still a struggle as then my health problems took a turn for the worse again (all probably stress-related) and I was hospitalised at least twice before my hysterectomy last year (which was recommended to reduce the chances of breast cancer returning) and subsequent complications after it. I have really struggled to keep going at times to be honest but I know I need to because these two beautiful (but complicated) children need me. Their own parents let them down and now we are, not intentionally but we are nonetheless unless we can sort this out.


My main priority is to secure this house for the two adopted children; if it were just me and my 18 year old, I would sell the house just to be free from my ex, but it's not just me and my son; these two children came here knowing that this was to be their 'forever home'.


How dare he tell them it will need to be sold and in doing so cause them so much unnecessary stress and confusion - I can't imagine anything he might have been thinking could justify him telling them this.


I am not a vindictive person, I would gladly give it to him if I could.

I wish I had a magic wand to give him the money he wants; we could then both concentrate on the needs of these children.

FBaby

I would try not to worry too much. It is likely that his first step would be to get advice from a solicitor after you say no, and he will be told either that he would be mad to take you to court as little chance to win, or encouraged to do so and hire a solicitor, but when he'll see the costs, he might realise that it is not work the gain.

silvercar

vonvonvon wrote: »

He doesn't like renting and wants his own home but he want's me to sell up and then rent so that he can own a home instead of me.

How does he see this is fair?

If I were to rent a house now, I would be paying twice as much in rent as I am mortgage - it is just not practical.

Does he see this?