hubby out i'm worried ........

poppyscorner

Tom_Saunders wrote: »

If you want or need it three times per night you must have serious insecurities. I can't belive anyone needs that.

Thanks for your honesty yes I believe I do have serious insecurities but as I said as much as I would like it that often it doesn't happen I have good reasons for my insecurities in my defence and I just love having sex with him despite the problem there. Sex makes me feel good it makes me feel like a woman instead of just a wife and mother (not that there is anything wrong with being either of those) and I have always wanted it really often don't know how I would be if I managed to get it three times a night though I'm expecting really sore I dont need it every day I would like it there is a difference just wanted to clear that up.

Tom_Saunders

I think you should just try kisses and cuddles every night, I'm sure that would help.

If it was just sex IE a release then you could use your toys. I just think you need constant re assurance. In a way I was / am a bit like that but after 18 years together (half my life) I'm fairly confident she loves me! :mad:

larmy16

poppyscorner wrote: »

Thanks for your honesty yes I believe I do have serious insecurities but as I said as much as I would like it that often it doesn't happen I have good reasons for my insecurities in my defence and I just love having sex with him despite the problem there. Sex makes me feel good it makes me feel like a woman instead of just a wife and mother (not that there is anything wrong with being either of those) and I have always wanted it really often don't know how I would be if I managed to get it three times a night though I'm expecting really sore I dont need it every day I would like it there is a difference just wanted to clear that up.

I have never been able to separate sex from feeling loved. I sometimes think it is because as children our parents never cuddled us or hugged us and we never saw any affection between our parents (who were virtually at war all the time).

I can remember seeing people kissing on tv and thinking they must really love each other to be doing that. I was so naive and had no idea about sex.

Therefore, I can completely understand how you get a lot of comfort from being sexual and because it is all consuming, your insecurity seems very far away. I am the same.

Would love to know how it went when he got home from the stag party? My fella has a best friend who is female and he was in love with her for many years!!!
She did not fancy him, but I definitely have an insecurity thing going on about her which I have to really control.

poppyscorner

Tom_Saunders wrote: »

I think you should just try kisses and cuddles every night, I'm sure that would help.

If it was just sex IE a release then you could use your toys. I just think you need constant re assurance. In a way I was / am a bit like that but after 18 years together (half my life) I'm fairly confident she loves me! :mad:

Thanks for your comments we are six years into our relationship we married after 4 and a half yrs he had an affair 3 years in and after our first son was born with my BFriend at the time needless to say she isnt anymore I have forgiven him for it and dealt with it I think but I am left with insecurities because of it I hope I get to the stage that you are I love him so much and sex is my way to feel close to him just sometimes and others it is because I just want to. As for the toys I need a new one bored of the ones I have.

poppyscorner

larmy16 wrote: »

I have never been able to separate sex from feeling loved. I sometimes think it is because as children our parents never cuddled us or hugged us and we never saw any affection between our parents (who were virtually at war all the time).

I can remember seeing people kissing on tv and thinking they must really love each other to be doing that. I was so naive and had no idea about sex.

Therefore, I can completely understand how you get a lot of comfort from being sexual and because it is all consuming, your insecurity seems very far away. I am the same.

Would love to know how it went when he got home from the stag party? My fella has a best friend who is female and he was in love with her for many years!!!
She did not fancy him, but I definitely have an insecurity thing going on about her which I have to really control.

Thanks larmy,

Nice to know I am not alone it is female friends that often kick it off tbh. As for last night it ended in a few cross words I waited up till two I rang my friend (the stags g/f) and she said have you heard from them I said no (hubby had his mobile but hadnt rang or text me) she said really I have heard from them loads they had been ringing and texting her several times throughout the night I was immediately seething at that and a little bit put out tbh I hadnt expected him to call or text me but when she said they had all called her to tell her they were having a good time the jealousy kicked in and I sent him a text saying 'Thanks for that text it really makes me feel loved I am going to bed !' of course I was being sarcastic as he hadn't sent me a text I left it at that and went to bed could hear my mobile ringing downstairs and I ignored it. He got in at around three and I didn't acknowledge him pretended I was asleep. This morning we chatted I wasn't in a huff or anything just told him how it made me feel he apologised and we had sex or tried to the kids were rapidly approaching the bedroom just after we started :eek:

But hey we are OK

fsdss

look, lets take this into perspective, if any contact was to happen it was bound to be to the bride to be (winding her up etc), the fact that he didn't text you does not mean that he doesn't care or love you. at least he rang you in the end, even though you didn't answer. by sending out a text to him like you did may have upset his evening. you'd have been better off sending a text with comments such as "hope your having a great time- don't do too much to the groom ha ha!!!"
or "I'm going to bed,thinking about you- you stud muffin"
that would have provoked a better response than you received and you wouldn't have had words this morning.