help: tearing hair out with baby not sleeping IN THE DAY

liney

My top tip; Black out blinds! Baby will associate being dark, as time to sleep. Wrap him up, say night night, and leave the room. Newborns find being the dark calming apparently, like being in the womb. My son slept in the pitch black until he was 2 1/2 when he began asking for the door the be left ajar, mainly because he has a very vivid imagination.

If he isn't sleeping, then at least hes having quiet time in the dark which will be soothing for him.

I followed The Baby Whisperer with my ds3 and he slept every 3 hours like clockwork as a newborn. Definately worth a read. It takes 3 days to form a habit she says, so perhaps stick to putting him down at the same times for a few days whether he falls to sleep or not. 9am 12midday and 3pm were our newborn times iirc. Bed at 6.30pm/7pm.

kj*daisy

Hello - glad you have had a better day.
Firstly I would take issue with what someone posted which is the idea that a 6 week old baby could manipulate anyone. At that age they are basically a bundle of needs and they cry when they want those needs met. And if he's over tired then you doing what it takes to ensure he gets enough sleep in the day may be a solution at this moment in time. And might mean your DH returns home to a non-wailing baby. Yes doing what I said in my first post may lead you into what other people would describe as a "rod for your own back" BUT (and this is important) do what is best for you and your sanity, babies change and they grow out of those "rod for your own back habits" in time. In the meanwhile everyone has been happier.
Second I will not say what I think of Gina Ford when it comes to forcing babies into a routine (but it's not polite). Some babies fall into routines easier than others and if you try and force a non routiny type baby into a routine then it's bound to be tough. I like bedtime routines but GF's daytime routines were terrifying to me (I bought the book and then got rid!)
Thirdly the Baby Whisperer is better I think because it at least acknowledges the difference in temprament between some babies. But the "no-cry sleep solution" is even better IMO but I'm not sure if it deals with babies as small as yours.
And I know I've gone on a bit but really don't worry about doing what you instintively think you should.
When I had my second I was alot more bolshy about telling people to keep their noses out of my plans to sleep with my baby if that's what it took - but then DD was much better at sleeping anyway. But at 6 weeks she too needed cuddling to sleep most the time - but she grew out of it.
Take care. They are a mystery these baby creatures!

roseycozy

Firstly, BIG HUGS! :grouphug: My DD was a terrible sleeper at that age due to colic so I can really sympathise. Secondly, it WILL get better, honest! My DD is now 9m and (mostly) naps very well.

As for practical advice, I think most of these have been mentioned already but I can certainly second them:

Automatic swings are a godsend and most babies find them very soothing. Maybe you could borrow one from somewhere?

Carseat - if you have the type that can be carried into the house then you can put baby in it and rock gently on the floor.

Pram - well you know that one works. On rainy days push it indoors too.

Bedside cot - not much help if you don't own one but I highly reccomend them. You can feed LO lying down and then roll away from them and hopefully then stay asleep. You could feed LO in bed if you make sure it is 'baby safe' and you should not really leave them alone, so use it as an excuse to get some sleep yourself.

I hope you manage to find something that works for you. I know it's tough but hang in there!

Oh I almost forgot, you asked how much sleep 6wk olds should be getting? Well every baby is different of course, but on average a 1-4m old should be getting around 15 hrs ish per 24hrs. HTH.

Savvy_Sue

As for breaking bad habits, has anyone seen a teenager who still needed to be breastfed to get to sleep? thought not ...

Do what you can cope with NOW and worry about breaking the bad habits when you have to! :rotfl: IMO it's easier to break 'bad' habits with a toddler than with a baby, because toddlers do understand what you say to them, if not WHY you're being so mean to them as to not let them b/f any more!

alm721

Just to let you know you're not the only one. My DS is nine weeks now and is a little toad to get to sleep during the day sometimes. Sometimes, he will sleep loads during the day, other times he will hardly go off at all. I seem to have more problems with getting him to sleep on a night when he's hardly slept during the day. When he gets overtired he will fight and struggle to aviod sleep at bedtime. I think he generally enjoys being swaddled but when he's really fractious he will just thrash about until he has his arms and legs free. I even bought one of those swaddlease sleeping bag things, took him about a minute to get an arm out. He also does the pulling at his ear thing, what is that all about? No more advice other than wahts been given, except that I think the best piece of advice I was ever given by a midwife when I had my daughter was to do what worked for me and her and not pay any attention to what anyone else told me to do. Its obviously good to get advice but ultimatly do what suits you and your baby and don't feel bad about it. My daughter slept with me from being newborn for months as she was such a bad sleeper I could'nt cope with getting up to her every 1/2 hour (literally) she was about 13 months before she slept through the night! I felt really bad about it and did'nt dare tell anyone I let her sleep with me for fear of being told I was getting her into bad habits or that it was dangerous etc. Could'nt care less now. If my son falls asleep with me so be it. (Obviosuly not something to do if you've had a drink etc.) Anyway just wanted to say you're not on your own. It will pass, there were times when I could have thrown my daughter out the window( well prehaps not but you get the idea) but I would'nt swop anything about her for the world.

raffe

don't think anyone has mentioned it however my lo hated the swing things etc however he loved being in a sling and fell asleep within minutes of going in it.

halia

DS hated a swing but here's what worked for him.
For all sleeps in his cot he was swaddled, it was the onyl way to get him to go to sleep - some babies have a very strong startle relax and scare themselves when their limbs flail around!
We found the S list to work;
swaddle
Shhh
Stroke
Swing (I think)
Regular routine, up at 6am for a bottle feed with dad, back to bed 7am,
usually woke again around 8.30am - I'd get up and play with him a bit, do a gentle massage etc
from then on he would feed about every 3 hrs until 9pm, then he could manage a couple of 4 hrs stretchs at night so we went for 6am (dad gave bottle feed), 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 5.30pm and 6.30pm (cluster feed before and after bath), 10.30pm (dad), 2/2.30am. After a while he would wake closer to 3am so we pushed the night feeds to 11pm (dad) and then 4am (me).

What we did to help him sleep:
If he wouldn't settle I wouldn't rock him in my arms cos I got too tired and then if I put him down he would wake up again. the 'swing' part of thigns is important but its amazing how fast you ened to move, most babies quite like Small but fast movements, kinda jiggling rather than slow swings. I used to put him in his crib, fully swaddled, then cradle his shoulders with my hands cupped and make fast small movements, like you get in a car.
It was easier to slow down and withdraw my hands as I wasn't having to stop and change his position.

The Shhh part was very important too, we used a radio tuned to white noise and then got a 'relaxation' machine which we set to waves coming in on a beach, he slept with that until he was about 2.

Swaddling - had to be very tight for him, We'd wrap him up in an old pashmina, it was the right length to wrap roudn securly, light but warm. I've a photo somewhere and he looks like a mummy! I used to put him down and pull it over tightly - he felt much more secure like that and would calm down as soon as you got him wrapped.

We had an awful week or 4 with him until we realised he was just plain tired all the time. He would just scream from 3pm to 9pm. After that I started insisting on regular naps and lots of them, it wasn't fair to him to drag him out into bright noisy places when he needed regular meals, nice quiet relaxing naps and gentle play.