Working Full Time - Mums??

DevilsAdvocate1

I must admit I can see where you SIL is coming from as I struggled with full time. I was just so tired all the time. My husband was tired too and we bickered loads. In the end I asked for part time but was told full time or nothing. I stuck it out for 2 years and then left. My husband was supportive and I had a cleaner, but still struggled to cope. But at least I gave it a try.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

jetplane

It is interesting to read how many of the posts (including mine) advise how the mother becomes more organised, including roping in more help and support from the OH. Even with today's equality it is far more often that the mother takes main responsibility for the children, even if were not doing it we seem to be organising it. Meanwhile househusbands and single dads are praised for taking on that role.

I have lost count how many times my best friend has been told how lucky she is to have a stay at home husband or how many times my colleague reminds us that he brought his son up alone on benefits for 16 years :lipsrseal

Pepperoni

Just wanted to add something RE cleaner. I wouldn't view it as earning money to pay for that - I would personally view it as going without some of the money so that you don't have to spend your valuable free time doing additional 'work'. Instead you can enjoy that time with your family!

FBaby

I suppose it all depends when you get on house work. I'm lucky to have a very tidy OH and the kids have been taught to tidy after themselves. A lot of it is done by getting up at 7 am and getting over with it before kids are even up or in the evening when they get on with homework. I would prefer to have an extra hour in bed but not for the price of a cleaner. Not that I think they are overpriced but that for the sake of that lost time we can enjoy something else as a family with the money saved. It is a choice and one we made because with good habits on a daily basis and everyone contributing it is not that much of a task.

Takeaway_Addict

jetplane wrote: »

It is interesting to read how many of the posts (including mine) advise how the mother becomes more organised, including roping in more help and support from the OH. Even with today's equality it is far more often that the mother takes main responsibility for the children, even if were not doing it we seem to be organising it. Meanwhile househusbands and single dads are praised for taking on that role.

I have lost count how many times my best friend has been told how lucky she is to have a stay at home husband or how many times my colleague reminds us that he brought his son up alone on benefits for 16 years :lipsrseal

Single mothers do it all the time as well to be fair, I don't think there is any real difference, its just that its less likely to be a househusband so you probably pick up on it more

Morglin

masonsmum wrote: »

I attended a job interview last week for a new job as an Office Manager for a local agricultural society, it seems a great position and on Friday they emailed to say the were very impressed with me and want me to come back for a second interview and meet the President of the society.

I might be counting my chickens before they are hatched but I am looking for some advice on how other working mums manage their time. I havent worked full time since my eldest son who is now 8 was born. I currently only work 3 days Mon-Wed from 9-4.

The new positions hours of work are 9-5 with a degree of flexibilty, I am going to ask to come in around 9.15 so I can still do the school run and stay later at night?

I can be quite OCD with regards to my housework and routine, DH says I just need to not let it bother me and says he will help more with regards to making packed lunches, washing etc.

I am very lucky that I do not need to pay for childcare, youngest DS is starting the nursery in a few months so my mum, MIL and SIL have all offered to help.

However after discussing with my SIL at the weekend she thinks Im mad, that I should have a better work/life balance! She only works part time and her DH works 7 days a week 52 weeks a year, I would prefer to work full time with DH to give us a better quality of life, we have worked out we would be around £600 a month better off if I take this job and we would just make the weekends more precious.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Depends what you want from work - I worked full time, demanding job with long hours, and ex didn't help out, and as I am pretty OCD with housework, it was exhausting.:eek:

But, I wanted a career, was bored stiff being a SAHM, so no choice really!

Just take the road you feel is best - if it doesn't work out, you can always look for another job.

And the extra money will pay for some nice holidays...;)

Lin

masonsmum

Morglin wrote: »

Depends what you want from work - I worked full time, demanding job with long hours, and ex didn't help out, and as I am pretty OCD with housework, it was exhausting.:eek:

But, I wanted a career, was bored stiff being a SAHM, so no choice really!


Lin

Thanks, Lin, I didnt want to say it but I do get bored on my days at home, DS2 will be going to nursery as well and that would free up my mornings, I wouldnt know what to do with myself!

We really need the extra money, we got married last year and are still getting back on our feet, would love to be able to do spur of the moment things without worrying about the pennies x

Morglin

Well, I know some people get fulfilment being at home with kids, but I didn't really find it either fulfilling or enough to fill the day, do I went back very early on in the kid's lives,, and as they were born only 18 months apart, it was exhausting.

But if you have a husband willing to get stuck in and help, then I would go for it, especially if you want to build a career.

And, as you say, it's nice to have money for extras and little luxuries, or even just so that the finances aren't stretched, and I think it's a good role model for kids to see both parents with jobs.

Good luck with it.

Lin

jetplane

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

Single mothers do it all the time as well to be fair, I don't think there is any real difference, its just that its less likely to be a househusband so you probably pick up on it more

Oh yes I agree totally my point was I don't hear people telling men that they are lucky to have a stay at home wife. No it's usually people saying isn't the wife lucky not having to work. Nor do I hear many single mothers telling us how exceptional they are or being told they're marvellous for bringing up children alone. Although personally I think that must be one of the hardest things to do.

surfsister

marywooyeah wrote: »

It sounds like a great job and from the way your posts are worded I think you'd kick yourself later if you passed it up.

I've worked fulltime for years, although ironically today is my first day of maternity leave lol! My son is about to turn six and my work allow me to get in at 9:20am to drop him off at school - I usually just work through lunch anyway but the agreement was that I'd have a 40 minute lunch instead of an hour to make up the time and it didn't affect the salary

I'm sure your new boss could come to a similar arrangement if you asked, it's only 15 mins per day for you so not an unreasonable request.

The key thing to working fulltime is keeping organised -

surely the key to both partners working full time is both sharing the chores - not the woman rushing around to do them all. or am I missing something here?