Pocket Money for 12 and 16 year old

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Mine got the money to spend on exactly what she wanted. Lunches were sorted, but she could buy a bacon roll on the way to school. If she wanted to go out with her friends, she could pay for it without asking me for extra. If she wanted to save it, she could.

I paid for school stuff. She was very happy with this arrangement, as it gave her control. I never got asked for additional spends, although I would sometimes ask 'how much have you got?', I'd get an answer and, if appropriate (for example, she'd done a few other things to help out without being asked, or had done well at school, I'd sometimes give her extra as a bonus).

She's more than capable of not spending her money unecessarily now. Not bad for a nearly 15 year old.

I didn't have access to cash when I was a kid. My mothers attitude was that I should do chores for free. Even though she spent all day, every day, at home not doing housework (her house is a flaming midden and I had to grow up in that), and I did most of my own cooking, washing, cleaning my room and the bits of the house I could reach behind the mountains of crap from about 12 years old.

I'd like to say I had no understanding of where the money went. But it went into her bank account and she then bought herself lots of clothes, gadgets and general pointless crap that just added to the mountains of detritus in the house. I think the fact that she had gone from housewife to permanent benefit claimant reinforced the 'I don't have to go out to work when I can get money for free' attitude she still has. She's baffled why I have a job, rather than sit at home doing beggar all and wait for handouts from the State.

I had to learn about budgeting and paying bills very quickly when I left home. I wish I'd known about it beforehand. I have a low boredom threshold, so I needed to work for my own sanity, never mind self respect.

My daughter already understands that you work for your money, you work to fund your life, you control things and you are responsible for your own decisions, including learning the awesome shoes are sometimes worth missing out on a couple of takeaways for. So she's in a better position for when she's out on her own than I ever was.

monty-doggy

I got £5 a week from my parents until being 16. I also did a paper round on a thurs and fri eve which paid £15 in total for about 300 papers each night, unless there were leaflets which I'd get an extra £3-10, and I worked on the market on a Saturday from 7am until 6pm and I got paid £23 plus breakfast and lunch and all drinks all day, we had the best time and I loved it. I did that from being 13-17. When we went to Florida when I was 15 my dad matched my savings £1 for £1 to encourage me to save a decent amount of spending money

IrishRose12

I'm 29 years old now. From I was 13 years old Up until I was 17 years old I was given £10 a week from my mum (my dad died when I was young) This was for me to do what I wanted with it. She provided my clothes, food, dinner money, school stuff, the things that a parent is supposed to do.
I know my mum struggled for money after my dad died. She wasn't entitled to any benefits, including free school meals and uniform grants, and had to pay for EVERYTHING. She got no help at all.

I wasn't allowed to get a job when I turned 16. My mum said my education was more important and she didn't want me falling behind in school. None of my brothers or sisters had to work, my mum and dad provided for them until they got a job when they graduated. She said that even though my dad had died I was no different. When I left school at 17 and went to college I received £40 per week, my mum took £10 of this for keep and she insisted I kept the rest, and only then did I have to buy my own clothes etc. But even at that she still bought me things.

daisiegg

You know it is possible - in fact very common - to have a job and still do well in your education. My siblings and I all worked from 16 (actually my sister worked from 14) and got straight top grades at A Level and those of us who have completed uni already did very well. In fact said sister is just about to graduate in medicine from Cambridge. I actually believe, as a teacher, that sixth form students with part time work (of a sensible amount - up to around 12 hours a week) learn to manage their time much better, are more mature, responsible and focused. I had an ex boyfriend whose parents said his education was more important than working at 16. He flunked out at A Levels, got a third in his degree (useless) and was never able to get work that he badly needed during university summer holidays because he had no work experience on his CV. I believe he struggled to find work after uni too. I fully intend to encourage my children to get part time jobs at 16 not so we don't have to give them pocket money(!) but to build up a CV, help to teach them time management, responsibility, independence, managing money, interacting with adults and (possibly) the public, maturity and self-worth. Not saying you can't develop those things without a job but not as easily I don't think!

moomoomama27

daisiegg wrote: »

You know it is possible - in fact very common - to have a job and still do well in your education. My siblings and I all worked from 16 (actually my sister worked from 14) and got straight top grades at A Level and those of us who have completed uni already did very well. In fact said sister is just about to graduate in medicine from Cambridge. I actually believe, as a teacher, that sixth form students with part time work (of a sensible amount - up to around 12 hours a week) learn to manage their time much better, are more mature, responsible and focused. I had an ex boyfriend whose parents said his education was more important than working at 16. He flunked out at A Levels, got a third in his degree (useless) and was never able to get work that he badly needed during university summer holidays because he had no work experience on his CV. I believe he struggled to find work after uni too. I fully intend to encourage my children to get part time jobs at 16 not so we don't have to give them pocket money(!) but to build up a CV, help to teach them time management, responsibility, independence, managing money, interacting with adults and (possibly) the public, maturity and self-worth. Not saying you can't develop those things without a job but not as easily I don't think!

I agree! My daughter started her first job a few months ago, just after she turned 16.

The difference in her is amazing! She's gone from expecting handouts, not really valuing money, unable to motivate etc.. To totally the opposite!

She's doing well in her GCSE mocks, getting a*- c grades! She only works weekends and holidays and is now very good with time management and better at budgeting!

IrishRose12

I'm not dissing anyone who makes their child work form 16 or who's child decided to get a job at 16.
My parents made the decision for all of us that they didn't want us working, being too tired and under extra stress when it wasn't necessary. They decided that our education was more important, and I thank them for that decision.

My parents both had to leave school at 14 - my mum is a pensioner now - and had to go out to work with no choice in the matter. Although they didn't do bad out of it they wanted us to have a better life than they did and wanted us to concentrate on our education. They looked at it that until we were 18 years of age they were responsible for our upbringing and education, and that's what they did.
We didn't expect handouts and we still have great CV's, can manage money fairly well, we can interact with the public - 1 of us is a teacher, one is a solicitor and the other is a Lecturer in a University. 2 of us are classroom assistants and the other is a physio. We are all very mature and confident.

Just because we didn't work until we were 18/19/20 years of age doesn't mean we're any worse off, and we certainly aren't lazy or expect things done for us or expect handouts.

But my children will be the same, and some of my nieces and nephews are already doing GCSE's but they aren't allowed to get a job.

peachyprice

daisiegg wrote: »

Presumably as 16 is old enough for a part time job? This is the way it worked in my family. We all found pt work as soon as old enough and money from parents stopped.

tha

Being old enought to get a job and actually being able to find one are two different things entirely!

daisiegg

peachyprice wrote: »

tha

Being old enought to get a job and actually being able to find one are two different things entirely!

Yes very true! But like someone else said a few posts ago, presumably if the 16 year old was making every effort to find a job but couldn't, parent would rethink the pocket money situation.

Spendless

Nadstar wrote: »

Surely it depends what you expect them to do with it?

Both parties need a really clear idea of expectations, who will be buying what and what they are expected to do to be given it!

This is my view on it. My 14yo prefers playing computer games , which he receives as birthday/xmas presents to trips out with the rest of his peers. When he does socialise he tends to go visit friends at their house, or they come here. He isn't interested in fashion or shopping trips and his only extra curricular stuff is free from his school. Any pocket money he receives, purely goes on snacks and drinks from the shop. Consequently I barely give him any.

My daughter is a different kettle of fish, she loves going shopping and buying a new item of clothing, or something from Claire's accessories or a lip gloss etc. At only just 11, she isn't old enough to make the trips alone and none of her peers are currently allowed to go either. Ice skating and cinema trips are still parent accompanying ones. She attends drama classes twice weekly and I pay for them. She barely receives pocket money either for these reasons. If she's shopping with me I tend to say you can have £x amount to spend which makes her decide if she thinks it's worth it or not. I expect once she starts Secondary school things to change and then have to review the situation.

peachyprice

Pocket money started at 11 for all my children. My sons started off at £20 a month and I paid for their phones, clothes, dinner money, school trips etc., the £20 was purely for themselves, by the time they were 16 it had gone up to £50. It stopped when child benefit stopped at 18.

My daughter (12) gets £50 a month, to spend on herself, I pay for her phone, dinner money, essential clothes like tights and underwear the rest she buys herself. She gets more than the boys did because she volunteers at her dance school on a Saturday.

None of mine have had to 'earn' pocket money by doing chores, they're all perfectly capable of tidying up after themselves without being bribed to do so.