Only freedom will do

edinburgher

Monevator is a brill blog. Dig out some of the older articles along the lines of 'how to get started with a pension'. That or Smarter Investing by Hale. I must sound like a broken record recommending that book.

Karmacat

Hi Ed, I think you're spot on not going for the classes, and Princess Lou is spot on for the rest of it A shame Mrs Ed doesn't like the classes at the library, but I know that my little Anglo French great nephew didn't have any classes or anything - his mum just relied on her 2 or 3 local friends. They're all back at work now, anyway - isn't Mrs E going back? - so its a combo of nanny in the morning, nursery in the afternoon, working at home one day a week and one day a week my ex-sister in law travels from Liverpool to London to look after him. All that lot gets him plenty of exposure to activities without classes!

earthgirl

Hi Ed,

I scoured the locality for local free baby activities. The local children's centre was free and AMAZING. I first went for the breast feeding group which was brilliant. But found it also provided free playgroups, outings, dance groups, baby gym, sensory room ...fantastic.

Library groups were also brilliant and free. Local play groups were free for babies and cheap for toddlers, and the best way to meet other mums - I found this SO important. Its easy to get isolated. The mums then did turn about for playdates.

Babies don't need a whole lot of stimulation till about 3-4 months. I tried to book one free thing in with the children every day after that time.

I once tried the expensive music group but it wasn't for me because you had to pay and it was rubbish.

edinburgher

Babies don't need a whole lot of stimulation till about 3-4 months. I tried to book one free thing in with the children every day after that time.

OMW - DD is 7 months. *No* way Mrs E could manage an activity a day, I don't know how you did it Earthy!

Ps. Was slandering Mrs E, good library group just started back today, she will be returning to it

Mrs E actively said that the expensive class was too much and that while it had been good, it wasn't *that* good.

Glad to hear that. Feeling a wee bit tense at the moment, basic expenses just to live where we are run to over £1,000/m, it's a lot (mortgage, tax, utilities alone).

ourcornercottage

I did something every day with miniocc as he was that kind of child, I went to baby cinema, parent and toddler groups (usually at churches although i'm not religious), sure start centre. I met plenty of like-minded parents and some not so like-minded but interesting none the less.

I didnt go to any of these fancy pants and expensive gymboree, baby yoga, music, signing, etc, etc, etc classes as they didn't add any value to what I could do myself.

edinburgher

Well ladies, I salute your energy. We are surrounded by friends who are first time Mums and nobody does that much!

in_need_of_direction

That's because they are surrounded by friends who are mums.

newgirly

There are virtually no mum and toddler groups near me, I ended up running a church one (I am not religious mind) with a friend, the pay 30p for tea and biscuits kind, we closed as we did not have enough parents attend.

Then when I moved to a village near a huge new housing estate opening a big toy/music/soft play one with a neighbour, £3.50 for a 50 min session we charged, always busy, even doing 6x sessions a week at one point, never made any money unbelievably, rent was high snacks and drinks, cleaning stuff, advertising, petrol etc. Just felt so good to help new mums meet new people, plus I took the twins who were only 2 and loved it. Sadly we had to stop when my partner needed to get a full time job and I couldn't afford to pay anyone to help.

I can't understand where all the local groups have gone, my friend who has a one year old said they don't even do the parenting classes through hospital anymore, it's so sad.

edinburgher

Well, the parenting classes at hospitals will depend on NHS budgets. We got those at our beautiful new build hospital, but then NHS Scotland probably give Glasgow a decent budget as a) there are a lot of people here and b) we are the sick man of Scotland :eek:

edinburgher

Had a great chat with Mrs E last night. She listened patiently as I unburdened my worries and explained that, as it stands, we will be in our mid 60s before we can afford to retire. I realise that lots of people will be in the same boat, but we earn decent salaries vs. our lifestyle and have the luxury of something left over to change this gloomy prognosis.

She admitted that she lives in the moment and that she tends not to think about these things as she is busy with DD etc. I admitted that this was a bone of contention for me, as being met with a glazed look every time we discuss a 'future' topic left me to plan everything and led to me treating her like a child in terms of understanding.

(Sorry if the continued focus on retirement in a millennials diary is boring for anyone, I have been in the workforce in some form for 18 years now and have always felt a burning desire to be free! )

We reached a few conclusions:

• 50 (for me) is a workable target to shoot for, Mrs E will be 48 and potentially a very young 'retiree'
• My £100/m into a SIPP will be joined by £80/m for Mrs E, after gummint money we will be adding £735/m to pensions in a 70/30 portfolio (well, once we make up the bond shortfall)
• We're going to increase DD's 'pocket money' (a combination of her nest egg + actual pocket money for when she's older) to £78/m. This avoids the model of exponential growth of giving her more each year that would lead to us having to set aside something like £150/m by the time she was 17. We would like to be in a position to retire by the time she finishes high school
• We're going to have fairly pessimistic assumptions, leaving plenty of room for upside

These changes will cost us something like £250/m, which is tough, but necessary if we are to meet our goals. Unlike small OPs, tiny amounts here and there really won't cut it when we are talking about forever decisions.

Less talk, more actually doing stuff feels really good :T

*£1.87 OPed (ET and a tiny amount of cashback)