what to do?

sadandlonely

My friend is in a sticky situation. Her little boy was born the day before fathers day and was planning his 1st birthday for the same day this year. She goes to a playgroup where they are friends with another mum whos daughter was born fathers day.


Today she messaged us all asking if we could keep that date free only to find out the other mum has already booked her daughters party the same day. Its 1.30 til 3.30 so smack bang in the middle of the day. She had already asked the mum if she would consider a joint birthday to avoid this. But that obviously fell on deaf years. So around 4 of the babies from this group are going to this little girls party now. They have all told her fathers day is out of the question as they are going out that day.9

Now i know anyone can book any day for their party but my friend doesnt have many friends and is upset as those 4 babies including the little girl are good friends with her son. Should she have the party anyway or book it for the week after where everyone can attend and do something special for her little boy on his birthday day.

I feel awful for her that this has happened as this was her worst fear.

mummyroysof3

At that age he won't notice or care if it's on a different weekend so I would do that personally

marisco_2

Your friend could look on all this as a positive, and not put herself through lots of angst and upset. She could arrange for her little boys actual birthday to be more of a family occasion. Then celebrate separately a few days later with all his little friends. At just a year old he wont be aware of much that is being put on anyway, and will just enjoy all the attention and fun regardless of the date.

sadandlonely

I will pass this onto her. Sounds like a better idea spending his actual birthday with family and then have a party a few days later. Thanks for the advice x

Buzzybee90

sadandlonely wrote: »

I will pass this onto her. Sounds like a better idea spending his actual birthday with family and then have a party a few days later. Thanks for the advice x

I didn't realise people had 'friends' birthday parties for babies - just have some family round?

neverdespairgirl

Worst fear? She needs to get a grip. 1st birthday parties are for parents, not for babies, anyway. The baby's unlikely to have a solid grasp of either what a birthday is, or the date!

sadandlonely

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Worst fear? She needs to get a grip. 1st birthday parties are for parents, not for babies, anyway. The baby's unlikely to have a solid grasp of either what a birthday is, or the date!

That's a bit unfair. The poor girl hasnt got many friends and having been to half of these babies 1st birthday parties, she wanted to do something with these babies for her sons party. She was only doing a small tea party, not a full on one with all the works.

marisco_2

sadandlonely wrote: »

she wanted to do something with these babies for her sons party. She was only doing a small tea party, not a full on one with all the works.

Your friend can still do this though, it will just require for her to have a flexible approach to it all. Something she will need to adapt to and get use to, as it comes with the territory of having children.

Hermia

marisco wrote: »

Your friend can still do this though, it will just require for her to have a flexible approach to it all. Something she will need to adapt to and get use to, as it comes with the territory of having children.

Indeed and especially when it comes to birthdays. I don't think I ever had my birthday parties on my birthday as it fell at a time of year when lots of families are away etc. I don't remember being remotely bothered by it. In fact I usually ended up having two celebrations!

Ziggazee

Yep......your friend needs to get a grip. This kind of situation is going to come up numerous times over the years (when the child goes to school, etc).

Make-it-3

This is silly, a one year old doesn't understand the concept of birthdays or friendship. This is about the adults asserting their territory.

First birthdays are for the parents to celebrate surviving the first year.

If your friend wants to return the favour of inviting "her" mummy friends to a celebration then just pick another day and get on with it.