Having my LBM but possibly smashing the bulb as i hit my head off the wall

mismatch

Hi All
I am a long term lurker and occasional challenge joiner and as the title suggests somewhere between my lbm and a nervous breakdown:eek:. I feel i'm hitting the wall and also realising I must sort this s%$t out once and for all. I am toying with running this diary but i'm a tiny bit afraid of the scary old trolls condemning me and how often I will update as I don't always have a lot of time. I do however feel I need somewhere to let some stuff out, ask for help on some things (and risk some harsh criticism) and hopefully get onto the right track (and stay there). I see so many people getting on and becoming positive through doing this I hope it can do the same for me.
I'm gonna do a brief run down of where I am and start to create the dreaded soa which i'll grab the courage (whiskey) to post soon I promise.
So, there's me and the hubby and a s$%tload of debt. We have a mortgage, small zoo of animals and 2 cars to run on 2 fulltime wages. I know people will say part with your pets but I might as well say now it ain't gonna happen, would you part with your kids? don't waste the time typing it please that's the 1 soapbox I stand on...sorry
Our mortgage is stuck on interest only as we can't afford to change it, its also in neg equity, we each have a loan and we are playing credit card jugglers with 0% balance transfers which is now making my head spin to the point I don't wanna get out of bed tbh. Our debts come from desperately trying to keep 2 old cars running for 2 long because they were paid for and it seemed better than getting a new car, long ago living like it was going out of fashion and generally being crap with our money.
I now am a yellow sticker queen, have downbranded to within an inch of my life, juggled like I have never juggled before and i'm at the bottom of the barrel. I can't admit defeat and go bankrupt even though I know it would be easier in the short term. It would kill the hubby, hell if he knew this was me here writing this it'd kill him, he just sticks his head in the sand and tells me to fix it and say yay or nay if he asks for anything. I'm just now struggling to see the wood for the trees on any of it. I need a plan and a way to write it all down and account for it all. I'm not great with computers/spreadsheets but I can cope with apps or good old fashioned ledgers. any suggestions gratefully received. We have come into our yearly work bonuses and I need to figure out their best place in paying off stuff and making life easier, again any advice appreciated.
I know this is all a bit waffle-ey and without an soa may be a bit hard, but I actually feel better for writing even this down. So for now i'm off to review and compose all my debts down and if I can cope maybe all my expenditures too to help this along. Hopefully I can get through all this and not be too annoying as I waffle on if anyone wants to read the waffle of course.:)

Buffythedebtslayer

hello, we are a friendly bunch in diary land


I for one have never really posted an SOA just what I pay off the debts and any plans I have for paying more off.


We don't past judgements here. We all got into a mess and we are all getting out of it together


XX

DawnW

Welcome Mismatch and well done for taking the first step and posting. As Buffy says, most of the people on here are a friendly bunch, and realise that not everyone can face posting a SOA, though it might be useful for you to do one for your own use, even if you aren't able to share it. Have you thought about talking to one of the debt charities? The free ones, not the companies that charge -thats the last thing you need :eek:
Good luck, and I am sure you will get lots of support on here

mismatch

Hi
Thanks for the support its much appreciated. Thursday was payday for me so as today is my first day off since its been a rather spendy 1 not to mention the fuel fill ups and emergency "we've run out of all paced lunch stuff" mini shop since money hit the account :eek
pay for us is 4weekly which I find super hard for balancing around payments and direct debits. I try to compensate by using 2 bank accounts but still find it hard. If anyone has any pearls of wisdom plz send them this way
I'm off to make all the monthly payments that have generated their statements then time to make a scary signature detailing them I think for inspiration/inducing a breakdown lol

dawnybabes

People don't bite and if they do just ignore them :-)

mary_hinge

Welcome Mismatch :beer:

I get money is all sorts of dribs and drabs from weekly to fortnightly to 4 weekly to monthly and I find cash flow a huge problem, I work around it by having a bills account to cover all DD and a "spends account" for food, petrol, spends etc.... I withdraw my weekly amount out in cash and us the envelope system once it's gone it's gone!

Mrs H x

HOK3Y

No judgement here, just support and encouragement. Most of us on DFW know where you are coming from and how you are feeling. Judgement is not helpful to anyone, especially in a vulnerable and frightening position with debts.

Big hugs and just push forward - you really have only one way to go if you have hit rock bottom. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and make sure that every step is the best one you can take. You have to make good decisions now. x

Divingmad

HI there mismatch,


Great start with the diary. I have just started a similar journey and having 6 dogs too I can fully empathise.
We'll be here with support and advice (and I'm sure someone will help out of you need the proverbial kick up the behind too)

RainbowBridgeReturns

I agree with the other posters, most of us would be hippocrites if we judged because we've mostly been there, we are just at different stages on the journey.

I have popped in off and on for a few years now and it is lovely to see how many DFW's have graduated to MFW status or investment guru's, that will be you too! Keep your eyes on the prize!

There are lots of positives in your post. You are already a yellow sticker queen! I still haven't mastered that and all your debt is at 0%. Although hubby has his head in the sand, he still seems to be doing as he is told rather than actively sabotaging.

Keep up the great work x.

mismatch

Hi All
Thanks for all that lovely support its so lovely to not be alone
I've just put all my cc balances on my signature and now I've removed my head from my knees coping with the sight of it I'm about to pay 2 their monthly payments. I'm rounding up the numbers they want to the nearest £5 so I get a little overpayment. Every little helps right I have £9.90 pending cashback from the bank on their new cashback scheme so thats heading straight at a cc when it hits the account. The cc's that say some 0% have more than 1 bal transfer on so I'm not too sure when they all end. Does anyone know if the card company will freely give me that info over the phone before I battle the option 1-1million?

skintygerlinky

Hiya Mismatch,


Welcome to the site, glad you're here! You will find lots of solid support, practical advice and honestly - people here have a great sense of humour too which really helps!
Look forward to seeing how you are doing xxxxxxxxxxx