Bridesmaid rant

sharnad

I would be tempted to rearrange wedding to a different date if its cheaper for you. She doesn't want to go to your wedding. She wouldn't have forget the date her holiday is more important to her

lazer

I would be very disappointed, but don't let it ruin the build up to your day, it is what it is, you can't control her actions, you can only control your reactions to them.

Is it possible that there is more than just the holiday - could she perhaps be pregnant and not want to be bridemaid, but not want to tell she is pregnant just yet?

A "friend" of mine heavily influenced our choice of venue and then didn't bother coming to my hen night (s) or even replaying to invites etc, i debated not sending an invitation for the wedding, but i did and had to chase her for a reply as i hadn't heard for back from her, and she wasn't coming.

We are now not friends, not entirely because she didn't coming to the wedding or moreso because she paid no interest whatsoever in it, not even as much as a card or a gift or even a texty message, or a reply to the invitation but that is a major part of it. She got married the year before us, and her wedding was all she talked about from the date she booked it so i did expect her to understand the importance of it.

I realised inviting her to stuff just to have her decline upset me, and in the end decided just to cut contact.

OP try not to get upset at this situation, you are getting married, the important thing is that you and the groom are both there (and the registrat, priest etc), the attendance of friends and family, while nice, is nto really important in the scheme of things.

MrsC....tobe

OP, let her go on holiday. The whole wedding day is actually only about the marriage and you and OH. you are the only people that need to be there and while you are wanting to celebrate with your nearest and dearest it's obvious that she couldn't care less by going and booking the holiday. If she did, she'd realise and mistake and not 'try to change it' but she would do everything she could to be at her best friends wedding as she promised she would be agreeing to be your bridesmaid.

That said, I'm not going to my sisters wedding next year. We got married abroad and then had a short notice blessing back home that none of my sisters bothered coming to. I was treated like carp, and my wedding/marriage wasn't acknowledged by any of them. Then I got a text out of the blue telling me that I wasn't to make plans for a certain date next year as one of them was getting married. This was 5 minutes after she announced it on facebook. And it also happens to be my second wedding anniversary. We are also out of the country for a specific reason at the same time each year which is why we chose to get married where and when we did with a view to celebrating our anniversary in that location every year. It's a smack in the face for us and she will never speak to us again when we don't go but sometimes there are sacrifices you have to make, I've made the effort throughout the last year to rise above her but this was the last straw for me in our already fragile relationship.

PinkPrincess83

We booked our wedding well in advance and asked oh brother to be best man, the wedding was in July and in the March he came to us and confessed he had the chance to work abroad for a few weeks and that he would be away during the wedding. Yes we were upset and disappointed (he is oh only sibling), but do you know what- it was our wedding day and we were going to have the most amazing day anyway regardless of who was there. There was no point in falling out or losing sleep over it.

What I'm trying to say is although its disappointing you are still going to have the most amazing day, she will be the one (if she doesn't come) who will realise on the day what she is missing.