Sorry if wrong thread !!! Money argument help,pls

pollypenny

Sit down together, monthly or even weekly, and budget together.

I took responsibility for our finances for a while, but I felt as if I was telling a little boy that he can't do something.

Togethers works for us.

BitterAndTwisted

He puts £1100 in a month and you £1200 plus the £80 childcare vouchers.

That seems split fairly equally to me.

What really matters is whether he's happy with you being in control of the household expenses (I suspect not) and what either of you have left for discretionary spends.

My own feeling is that since his income is variable from month to month you are quite sensible in setting aside savings for thin months. Only a bloody fool wouldn't if they could. A sensible strategy is to have three month's worth of outgoings in savings as an absolute minimum should the very worst happen. Do you have that much in savings set aside or are things on more of a knife-edge than this?

I suspect he feels that not all of the money coming in is spent or saved in the way he would do it.

Can he be trusted to take on this responsibility alone or would he be happier sharing each decision as it is made?

Georgiegirl256

Ok, so trying to understand this....you both put in about the same money each month? This pays for many things included your car insurance and tax, your hair and clothes, yet he has to pay for his own? That comes out of his own bank account? If so, then I can see his point, how is that fair? Why doesn't his expenses come out of that too if yours does?

angeleyes

He's a self employed taxi driver he doesn't just earn the 1100 but he has his running costs separate car insurance tax repairs, but any big repairs if he hasn't got it obviously comes out of savings, at the moment we only hav a few hundred saved as we hav just spent a lot doing our daughters bedroom Inc furniture which came out of this
I only mentioned my costs hair etc(very rarely get.done) as my wages n income is set so it comes out of the account,
He has a work car n.I have a car which I use to.go to work n the running round with daughter n shopping etc

tayforth

He sounds very petty, tbh.

Seanymph

Really you are asking the wrong people.

You need to ask your husband what his suggested solution is - accept he has a problem, and ask him how you can help him solve it.

It would appear that something has worked for a long time, and something has changed so now his feelings have changed.

Well that's ok - for goodness sake, you are married! Things change! Sit down with him, ask him what he suggests would be a solution he could be happy with, work out what you are happy with and sort it out.